Love: An Irresistible Desire
by lovah of Ron
Summary: COMPLETE! A FreMione tale. Slight Harry & Ginny. Ron & OC. A little fluffy, a little funny, a little funuffily. Go ahead. You know you want to.
1. Chapter 1

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**So, I've been getting bored. And this makes me not bored. Hope you like my new fanfic better than my others. This one is frivolous and fluffy. It will be a little funny. Or at least, I'll try to make it funny. Or at least, amusing. Something without any substance. **

**It's a Hermione/Fred story. And it will turn out better, I promise. **

**The title is part of a quote (which is below). All the chapters will be based on or consist of a quote. **

**Quotes, by the way, are very important to this story. **

**So, here is the first chapter of my new story.**

_**Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.  
--** Robert Frost_

**Enjoy!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron

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_Chapter One: __The third day of the rest of your life_

Life in the wizarding world was great. Especially, for Hermione Granger. She was a successful journalist for one of the three most famous magazines. She had galleons and galleons.

Plus, every heterosexual male had their eye on her. She was very much past her awkward bookworm stage. And, she had just broken up with her boyfriend of three years, who happened to be none other than Ronald Weasley.

It had been slightly painful; especially for Ron. He had whole-heartedly thought that he was in love with Miss Hermione Granger. Hermione had also, at one point, but then she figured out it was just a minor infatuation with red hair. Actually, it was a major infatuation with red hair. Secretly, she had always ruffled Ron's hair just to touch it. It was so gorgeous. Very red; red red red. Plus, she had always commented to her best friend Ginny Potter, nee Weasley, about her fabulous hair. As well as Ron's, quite frequently too, that is, when they were an item.

There was one very important instance of Hermione's lust for red hair; it was just before Ginny got married to Harry Potter.

Ginny was in her wedding dress, which, by the way, was absolutely made for Ginny, and just adjusting her veil and Hermione was staring intently at her hair.

"Why can't I have your hair Ginny?" Hermione asked pathetically.

"Oh, Mione, you hair is gorgeous, you just need to work on the hair spells. Actually, you just need to find the right brush…"

"Ginny!" Since, at this point, Hermione was quite aggravated with her best friend, she banged her head on the wall nearest her.

"Hermione, I do have one last gift for you, since you are my best friend and my maid of honor. It's a magic brush. To make your hair always look like you want it. Not in color, but in how it actually looks." It was this day, when Hermione realized her obsession of red hair.

And the wedding was fabulous. There was lots of crying (from Mrs. Weasley) and lots of laughter (from Fred and George) and lots of booze (also from Fred and George). At the end of the reception, there were a lot of drunken people because of Fred and George. But Harry and Ginny didn't care because they wanted to consummate their marriage. Again. **(AN: Yes, again. More will be learned in another chapter of why exactly they would be consummating the marriage for a second time. It is a slightly vital part to this story.) **

The wedding was a year before Hermione broke up with Ron. She knew for a year, but had a lot of difficulty trying to figure a way to tell Ron about how she didn't love him. It was only when Harry and Ginny went on a trip for their first anniversary that Hermione told Ron. That is, with a bit of encouraging from Ginny.

At any rate, that was how Hermione's life went. She broke up with Ron, and buried herself within her work. Hermione worked practically twenty-four seven after her breakup that was, mind you, in July. Then aweek after the New Year, her boss, Amalia Anders, told her that she needed to take a sort of break, with a "fun" assignment.

"Hermione," Amalia said, "you need to stop with this working all the time. The quality of your articles has declined a lot since this "never stop working" phase. To put it simply, your articles have sucked.So instead ofthis "work work work" phase, _you_ are going to interview the most eligible bachelor. He, this bachelor, I mean, is the co-owner of the most successful business in the whole wizarding world." Amalia sounded quite excited, with a hint of longing to be doing what Hermione was going to be able to do.

Hermione, because of her constant working, could not have possibly known who this bachelor was. And her boss noticed this by her blanked expression on the topic being discussed.

"Fred Weasley! Of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes!" And Amalia was screaming, and Hermione was dying. However, Amalia had mistaken Hermione's look of dread as a look of pure elation.

"You get to hang out with Fred Weasley! You get to hang out with Fred Weasley!" And over and over and over, Amalia sang that; even as she walked back to her office after leaving Hermione's assignment on her desk.

After learning this, Hermione promptly began banging her head against her desk. Over and over and over.

_I'm going to have a horrible headache tomorrow! _she thought to herself.

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**And so that was my first chapter. How was it? Do you want to read more? Because, I do! However, I first have to write the next chapter. **

**I will need 4 reviews in order for the next chapter to magically appear, please. Pretty please? **

**And now, here is the quote from the chapter title.**

The day after tomorrow is _the third day of the rest of your life_.  
-- _George Carlin __(Sometimes a Little Brain Damage Can Help, 1984)_


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: This is the second chapter. Tell me how you like it. The quote will be at the bottom, as usual. It's all thanks to you, my fourth reviewer, **_Close2MiiHeart_**, that this next chapter is being posted. **

**Tell your friends about this story and have them review. The next chapter will need 6 reviews for me to update. Just so you know.**

**Enjoy!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron**

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_Chapter Two: Days that don't end in 'y'_

Hermione groaned with frustration as an owl pecked at her head.

_Hoot hoot! _it went.

"You are a bloody pigeon, Mopsie. I tell you! A bloody pigeon!" Hermione mumbled loud enough for Mopsie to hear her. Indignantly, Mopsie stopped pecking her owner's head.

_Hoooooot!_

This startled Hermione, and she jumped nearly five feet. "Alright alright! I'm getting up Mopsie!"

Begrudgingly, Hermione climbed out of her nice warm, comfy queen sized bed. It was purple and green, her bedding that is. The clock read 8: 57. Hermione staggered to her bathroom and nearly tripped on her rug. She then pulled back her shower curtain and turned on the water. She quickly stripped down and hopped into the shower. Literally. And then, she almost slipped and fell.

Hermione uttered loudly a string of obscenities. This was normal for the 22 year old Hermione's routine of hopping into the shower and almost falling then yelling curses to no particular person. That's what she got for being best friends with two boys for eleven years.

She eventually situated herself and took a nice long shower. At least a long shower for Hermione, which happened to be only six minutes and thirty-one seconds, total. The normal shower she could take in two minutes and forty-eight seconds.

She did the normal things for following up a shower; her hair, her teeth, her face, blah blah. Hands ripped through her wardrobe, desperately looking for something to wear.

"Why don't I have any decent clothes! I have all this money but no damn clothes!"

Hastily, she grabbed semi-decent underclothes and a pair of jeans that were from her seventh year and a white tee.

Just as Hermione was trying (but unsuccessfully) to put on her jeans, a very perky voice rang through her apartment.

"Hermione! Hermione, where are you?" It was her boss, Amalia Anders.

"Amalia, can you at least warn me when you are going to barge into my apartment?"

"Oh, well, if I didn't "barge into your apartment" every day, you would never even get out into the world!" Her voice is so sickeningly sweet, it would make you sick. "Thank you very much Amalia. Do you know if Ginny has left me any messages? Did you see Pookie in the living room?"

"Yes, in fact I did. Here's your letter from her." Amalia handed the half naked Hermione her letter. (Hermione had yet to put on a shirt.)

_Dear Hermione,_ it said.

_Fiji is wonderful. It's gorgeous here. The sand is so clean. The plants are more beautiful than I have ever seen. _**(AN: I didn't intend it to rhyme, just so you know. It just ended up that way.) **

_Harry says hello. I have told Harry that though we have another week here, I want to come home sooner. We'll be back in two days. Wednesday in England. We have some news to tell you all. _

_Miss you lots, Mione. See you very soon. Then I'll tell you all about the news first! _

_Love you lots, Mione!_

_Ginny _**and Harry**

Hermione squealed. "I knew it! I knew it! Ginny's pregnant! Ha! That's why she's coming home…tomorrow! Geeeee!"

"How do you know Hermione? Ginny might just miss you all."

"Oh ho no! Ginny wrote me that I would be the first she told. She tells me _everything_ first. Even about her first wedding to Harry."

Amalia looked straight at Hermione, eyes wide and mouth open.

"Oh bugger." _Me and my big and not yet awake mouth._

"Wait, are you saying that Harry and Ginny were already married when the got married?"

That sounded like the dumbest thing ever said out of the mouth of Amalia, and she had said quite a lot of dumb things.

"Now I have to tell you everything! And you have to promise not to say _anything_ to _anyone_!" Hermione groaned. Loudly.

"Yay!" Amalia clapped and jumped up and down in her four inch heels.

"Well, it was obviously before their big wedding. I was out with them and Ron, of course. We had just possibly drunk one too many alcoholic beverages and Harry popped the question. Now, he had dreading this question for at least six months. He always said to me, "What if she says no?" And I always told him if he didn't ask her soon, she'd ask him herself.

"So, since he was so bloody wasted, he was, I think, thinking to himself, 'Why the hell not?' So he asked her. We Apparated to the wizarding part of Las Vegas and they got married in a chapel. And it was a nice chapel. Not one of those bloody Elvis ones. God, don't you just hate Elvis? And then, Ron and I left them to do their married couples thing. That is of course, after Ginny and I went shopping in one of those opened 24 hour lingerie places. Ron and I rented a hotel room and Harry and Ginny got one free, since they got married at the chapel place that also happened to own a hotel. And that's the end."

"That is sooo romantic!"

"Yeah it would be if you were drunk, too. I wonder if there going to tell that they were already married. Hmmm. That would be interesting."

"Yes yes. Now get dressed. You only have…" Amalia looked at her watch, "eleven minutes to be at the place to um meet…Fred Weasley! God, I wish I was in your place. Too bad I've been promoted a year too early. Did you honestly have to join us when you did?"

"I've been working at _Mystic Witch_ since I was 19. That's three years." Hermione wondered how she could possibly put up with this girl anymore as she finally put on her shirt.

"Well, you're dressed now. Let's go." Amalia pulled on Hermione's arm.

"Uh, I kind of need to put some makeup and shoes on. As well as jewelry."

"God, how long is that going to take?"

"Five minutes!"

Hermione ran into her bathroom, applied mascara and eyeliner and lip gloss with a wave of her wand. She dried her hair and brushed it hastily, with, of course, her magic brush she had gotten from Ginny on her wedding. It immediately settled into gorgeous curls. Hermione hurried over to her closet full of shoes and picked out her killer black pumps. She hopped over to her vanity as she put on her heels, and grabbed her diamond studs and her green costume jewelry necklace and bracelet.

"Okay, I'm ready."

"Four minutes and seventeen seconds. I guess it didn't take you five minutes. Now let's go!"

Amalia and Hermione promptly Apparated to the headquarters of _Mystical Witch_.

"There you are Amalia and Hermione!" Their boss, Bert Zander, was a portly fellow. He was balding on the top and was somewhat of a pervert. The year before Hermione had came to _Mystical Witch_, a very pretty girl with enough assets to share quit because of the sexual harassment she received from Bert. He kept on trying to get her in bed with him. She now, or so it was told, is happily living the life of a nun in an Italian convent.

"Mr. Weasley will be here in any minute! You know that, don't you? He's supposed to be here, Tuesday January 12, the year 2001 at 9:20 a.m."

Unfortunately, Bert had a tendency to call out the date and time at random moments, which at times, got incredibly maddening.

"And it's now January 12, the year 2001 and 9:17 a.m. He'll be here ion three minutes."

"Bert, Fred Weasley in notorious for being late," Hermione said. Bert and Amalia stared at her.

"Or so I've heard."

"Really? I didn't you heard anything about Fred Weasley. Hmm… guess you do know some things." Amalia sounded quite impressed.

"Eh. Well, you learn something new everyday, now don't you?" was all Hermione had to say.

"One minute until Fred Weasley will arrive!" Bert screeched. Both Hermione and Amalia rolled their eyes; their boss was a twit.

One minute passed, then two, then twelve, then twenty-seven minutes. And then Fred Weasley arrived.

He had Apparated with an astounding 'pop'.

"I'm here! Now, who is it that is going to spend a whole week with me to learn about my fabulous bachelor life?"

"Oh Mr. Weasley, welcome to the headquarters of _Mystical Witch_! I'm Amalia Anders." She stuck out her hand. He took it and shook it vigorously. From then on, Amalia had a giddy smile on her face. "You are to spend a whole week with one of our most dedicated writers of our staff: Miss Hermione Granger!"

"Hermione Granger works here? No bloody way! Where is she?" Fred looked around in the room. He hadn't seen the Hermione Granger he knew from Hogwarts.

"Fred, I'm right next to Amalia," Hermione managed to utter.

Fred looked at her. He was well, to put it simply, amazed. This gorgeous girl was none other than Hermione Granger? The same Hermione that was still best friends Harry Potter, his sister Ginerva Potter, nee Weasley, and his brother Ron Weasley? The know-it-all bookworm in her Hogwarts school days?

After understanding that this really was Hermione Granger, he scooped her up and gave her a huge bear hug. He slowly let go of her, realizing that he very well could be suffocating her.

After fixing her composure, she looked up at him. _Look at all of that gorgeous red hair!_ she thought to herself. She hadn't seen him in years; whenever she had gone to the Weasleys' he was on this grand adventure somewhere else.

"Well, Hermione, I haven't seen you in ages! How've you been?"

"Good Fred, good."

"Wait, you two know each other?" Bert the fat asked.

"Yeah," Hermione and Fred answered together.

"How do you know each other?" Amalia asked, quite upset that they already knew each other.

"School. And of course, Ron." Fred just had to point that out.

"Wait, are you saying your ex-boyfriend is the brother to Fred Weasley?" God was Amalia slow.

"Yes, Amalia. Fred is Ron's older brother." Amalia was simply amazed.

"Wait, you and Ron broke up? And where was I?" Fred intervened.

"I don't know Fred. We broke up in July past. Where were you then? Brazil?" There was just a hint of sarcasm in her voice and Amalia, Bert the fat, and Fred were all astonished at her audacity.

Fred, however, played along. "Actually, Herms, I was in Iceland. You went too south. Should have gone north." He smiled mischievously.

"Well, Fred, I believe we are going to have a fabulous time together. Oh, a _whole week_!" Hermione sighed.

"A fabulous time!" Fred agreed.

"Well, Hermione, you're going to have to pack in order to stay with Mr. Weasley. I believe doing that right now would be appropriate. Mr. Weasley, please, if you'll come with me into my office, and we can get you a refreshment. Amalia, go with Hermione so that you can keep her on task. I'm giving you a half an hour Hermione." Bert was such an ass.

"Thank you Bert for telling me I only have thirty minutes. I will most certainly use me thirty minutes _wisely_. Don't want to keep Mr. Weasley waiting too long!"

"Twenty-nine minutes Miss Granger!" Bert sneered.

"Hermione turned round and waved a hand over her shoulder. "Tata boys!"

Loud enough for Hermione to hear, Fred said, "She's a handful isn't she?"

Hermione Apparated and Amalia followed.

As soon as she was in her apartment, she screamed.

"God! That bloody fucking ass shit bastard! Telling me what the hell to do! I damn him to hell, the fat bastard!"

"Now Hermione, you must calm down and pack up. Please be a dear. I have a feeling if you do not pack in-" Amalia looked at her watch, "twenty-eight minutes and fifty-seven seconds; I fear we will both lose our jobs."

"Oh, don't get your knickers in a twist," was all Hermione said before she ran around her apartment like a madwoman, searching for her luggage.

"How exactly do you know Fred?"

"I told you this, Amalia, he's Ron's older brother. I've known him for, oh, since I was eleven. That means I've known him for eleven years." Hermione abruptly stopped what she was doing. "Oh my god. That's a really long time!" Then she continued on her rampage.

"Yeah. I would've liked knowing Fred Weasley for eleven years." Amalia sighed. "He's so…bish."

"What the hell is bish?" Hermione was still packing.

"It comes from Bishōnen, meaning beautiful youth in Japanese. So basically, it means gorgeous, hot, sexy, very good looking, and so on."

Hermione was absolutely astounded. Who knew Amalia was really that smart to know some Japanese, even though she was of Swedish decent?

Hermione continued packing, though she had no idea what she was actually packing. Sure, she was packing four pairs of jeans; two pairs being of the lounging kind and two being the dress-up kind; plenty of t-shirts in every color of the rainbow; all of her shoes (after she had miniaturized them, of course; she had 212 pairs!); she brought her suits; the basic black skirt; her whole vanity (after it was miniaturized). To make it simple, Hermione packed all of her clothes and shoes and makeup and jewelry and personal hygiene essentials. She made all of her things fit into two huge pieces of luggage. But, then again, she was a witch.

"Uh, Hermione, do you need to pack anything else? We have only four minutes and forty-three seconds to get back to the headquarters."

"I'm done, Amalia. We can go now."

Hermione was just about to Apparate when she remembered something; Mopsie.

"Hold on Amalia, I have to get Mopsie."

"Fine fine, get that wretched owl and let's go."

Mopsie was gotten and then the two (including Mopsie) Apparated back to _Mystical Witch_.

"Amalia, Hermione, back with fifty-three seconds to spare. Now, will you, Mr. Weasley, escort Hermione to wherever you two will be going?"

"Yes, Hermione and I will be going to my apartment."

Hermione bowed to Fred. "Oh, Fred, I only serve you!"

"Thank you Hermione. I hoped you did." He smiled just asshe frowned at him.

"Well then, Mr. Most Eligible Bachelor, let's go to your bachelor pad, now shall we?"

"Right-o. Just think 'Fred's Fab-u-lous Bachelor Pad', and you'll be there. But you have to think it _exactly_ like I said it."

"Yes Fred."

"Well, Bart-"

"It's Bert," Bert the fat corrected.

"I had a lovely time chatting about the time. We will have to do it again some other time. And thank you for thinking of this marvelous promotion type thing for me. I just love it. Getting to spend a whole week with a fabulously famous journalist, whose name is Hermione Granger."

Fred turned to Amalia Anders.

"Ams, mind if I call you Ams? Thank you for being so wonderful for being the boss of Hermione. Otherwise, Hermione wouldn't have been the journalist on this job. Au revoir!"

And he popped on to his flat. Hermione, quite unhappily followed.

_I am the lucky person who gets to spend a whole effing week with Mr. Most-Eligible-Bachelor-Who-Is-A-Major-Prankster. Woohoo!

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**It's the end of the chapter. A whole 2503 words. More or less. Please, tell me what you think. I'm having an idea to have one of Hermione's thoughts at the end of each chapter. Hmm? How does that sound?**

**Well, read and review (I need 6 reviews!)and I'll be a happy camper, though I don't believe I have ever been camping. Well, it's just an expression. **

**Here's the quote:**

I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'.  
-- _Robert Paul_


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Here is Chapter 3. Those many questions about what happened to George are to be answered! I hope the answers will satisfy! **

**The quote will be at the bottom as always! (Yes Queen of Duct Tape, a quote!) **

**Read and review. And I need _8_ reviews (count 'em: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8!) in order for a fourth chapter to be posted! But give a while to write it. Maybe a day. **

**Enjoy!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron**

_Chapter Three: A boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink_

Hermione arrived in Fred's "Fab-u-lous Bachelor Pad". And it was fabulous. Fred had great taste! Sure, he had an overstuffed puce colored couch, but that could be easily overlooked. And, his flat was huge!

Fred caught Hermione surveying the place in awe. He took Mopsie and her larger piece of luggage from her. He slimed at her.

"Herms, I know you love it because, well, the look on your face, but I need to show you the room you'll be staying in."

"Uh-huh," Hermione said, following Fred through his flat like a puppy dog.

Fred led Hermione through his living room and kitchen, pointing out the bathrooms on the way. His flat was tastefully laid out; Hermione couldn't help but notice. The room that she was to stay in, however, was by far the best room.

"Fred," she said in a week voice, "it's gorgeous."

"Well, I had to give Hermione Granger the best room."

The room was very spacious with mint green walls. (Green is Hermione's favourite colour.) The bed frame, molding, nightstand, dresser, window table and chairs, and window frames were all cream coloured, just like Hermione's vanity she brought with her. The bedspread was strawberry ice cream coloured with mint green accents. The sheets were cream with mint and strawberry stripes. The curtains were very feminine; they were some type of heavy lace that she hadn't ever seen before. The closet was a walk-in with many racks for Hermione's 212 pairs of shoes.

As soon as Hermione registered this really was going to be the room she'd be staying in for a full week. She dropped her one piece of luggage, and Fred did the same, gently placing Mopsie on the dresser. As soon as she had dropped her piece of luggage, Hermione ran to the bed and jumped on it. It was even more comfortable than she imagined.

"I suppose that means you like it?" Fred asked, amused as he magically put away all of Hermione's possessions in the appropriate places.

Hermione smiled. "Yes. I love it!"

"That's good. I had a terrible time deciding how to decorate it."

"Wait, you knew I was to be doing this article?"

"Yes."

"But, how?"

Fred smirked. His smirk was nothing like Draco Malfoy's. "I have my connections."

"Oh really? And why have you all of a sudden started acting nice? You weren't at headquarters."

"Ah, that precisely what I was doing: acting. I don't believe that people like that who are always aiming to please, yet at the same time, wanting to be respected should be treated kindly. So, I put on my acting mask."

Hermione looked at him oddly, as if seeing him in a new light. Then she smiled again. "Well, it certainly worked."

"Yeah, once George got married, I was on my own. I had to…make my own name, though we both are the faces of Weasleys' Wizarding Whizzes."

"I see. So, how is George? I haven't heard about him in a while. And how's Alicia?"

"Oh, the attached-at-the-mouth couple? They're fine. George told me recently that they think they're pregnant. I sure hope so. I can't wait to corrupt one of George and Alicia Junior."

"Really? That would be wonderful! George and Alicia; parents."

"Yeah, it is. Did you know that Fleur is pregnant again? Baby number four."

"Good Lord! What, do they literally wait the minimum amount of time before they can have sex again?"

"I'm not sure, but it seems like it. Might be a Veela thing. Who knows?"

There was an awkward silence. Fred stuffed his hands in his pockets and leaned against the wall nearest the door. Hermione changed her position so that she was laying on the bed with her chin in her hands.

"So, why did you break up with Ron?"

Hermione eyed Fred strangely. And Fred noticed this.

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he added quickly.

"Oh no, I'm alright with telling you. I thought you would have known by now. There are quite a few of you Weasleys. Anyway, it was at Ginny wedding that I first realized I didn't love Ron. Sure, we had been together for two years prior the wedding, but I just couldn't fool myself any longer or lead Ron on. However, it took me another year to pluck up the courage and end it with Ron. We haven't really spoken since."

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have let you tell me."

"That's alright. I'm glad you know now." Hermione smiled sadly at Fred.

"Do you think if you learn about my sad love life it would perk you up?"

Hermione smiled a genuine smile. "It might."

"Well, Angelina Johnson and I have been off and on since the Yule Ball. We were officially off, however, at her graduation. I broke it off. By the next New Year, we were together again. Between her graduation and New Years, I'd been with a few girls, but none too seriously.

"Then, once, we had gotten back together a little after the New Year, all we did was fight. By April of 1999, we were through. I dated an Irish girl, Layla O'Reilly for six months. And then, she broke up with me for a Patti Macready. As in, Patricia."

"Oh, that had to be difficult."

"Yes, it was. To make it even worse, they'd been together for 4 of the months Layla and I were together. But that's beside the point. After Layla, there was Kate Bosworth. We got along very well for 4 months, then she left me for an Orlando Bloom. Whoever the hell he is."

Hermione choked on her own oxygen.

"Is everything alright?" Fred asked, concerned for Hermione's well-being.

"Oh, yeah, fine. It's just that-"

"What?"

"Just that Orlando happens to be a successful Muggle actor who happens to be very good looking."

"Oh, that's interesting." Fred almost seemed unfazed. Just almost.

"Yes yes, but no matter. Carry on about your sad love life."

"Okay. After Kate, it was Alicia. Again. That lasted up until September of this past year. 2000 I mean. We thought it best to be friends when we ended it for good. We had done that quite well for six years, hadn't we? And as of now, I am single. A bachelor. The most eligible bachelor of the wizarding world. The end."

"Well, that certainly beats mine."

"Only because I told more, Hermione."

"That is true."

Just then, Hermione's stomach made an ungodly loud grumble, indicating it needed to be fed.

"Sounds like someone is hungry!"

"er, yes. I hadn't eaten breakfast." Hermione sat up.

"Then it's high time to eat something," Fred said as he walked out the door.

Hermione followed Fred into the kitchen.

"What'll it be to eat?"

"Are you going to make me something?" Hermione asked, shocked.

"Why, yes, unless, that is, you want to cook?"

Hermione backed away from Fred, waving her hands in a sign of protest. "Oh no. Not unless you want me to make something that is blackened, burnt, undercooked, raw, rock hard and stone cold all at the same time." Fred considered this.

"Actually, no, I don't. So what is it that you want?"

Hermione thought for a moment. "How about a grilled ham and cheese?"

"Sounds perfect. I'll have to second that."

Fred set to work while Hermione casually watched. It seemed seconds later that two absolutely perfect grilled ham and cheeses came off the stove. And they were the best grilled ham and cheeses that both Fred and Hermione had ever tasted.

_I'm really going to have to learn how to cook. And something besides cereal and milk. _

**Yes, the end of the chapter! Now there are answers! Just review please. I need EIGHT reviews for an update!**

**And here is the quote of the chapter:**

Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink.  
-- _Shunryu Suzuki Roshi_


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Chapter four is here! Thank you reviewer number 8, SilentConfession! **

**Just so you know, this chapter has a sad part in it. It delves into Hermione's person. Otherwise, story perfectly funuffily (adj. meaning fluffily funny). **

**Read and review. TEN reviews this time for an update! This is the last time I am going to ask for a specific number of reviews for me to post. I'll still love it if you do review. **

**Enjoy!**

**Sincerely,**

**lovah of Ron

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_Chapter Four: Am I or the others crazy?_

The rest of Hermione's Tuesday was very good. She and Fred caught up with each other; about everything, about nothing.

What Fred had learned: Amalia had a slight crush on him, and not something like she was from the loony bin. He certainly thought she was barmy.

That was basically all Fred learned, at this point, because Fred was doing all the talking. Hermione couldn't possibly belt him up! Even though, at times she wished she had.

Fred had told Hermione about his recent safari adventure in Africa. (Where, he didn't say. It probably wasn't safe.) And while he was telling about Africa, he managed to mention the elephants.

The only comment about the elephants Hermione could make was this: "The elephants were doing _what_?" Need more be said?

Afterwards, Hermione changed the subject, as she desperately wanted to do. She told of her past seven months; otherwise known as her workaholic days. Nothing special about that; work work work and no play.

They talked and talked. By the time they were quite dead in the sense of not coming up with anything else to talk about now, it was 10 p.m. In the end, Fred had even told of how his freckle on his big toe got its name; it was named Goliath for reasons that will not wanted to be known.

Hermione said goodnight to Fred and went to her room to begin collecting information about Fred to put in her article. With her superb memory, Hermione had remembered everything that Fred had said. However, she wasn't just about to use all the things Fred had told her. Especially not the part about the elephants on the safari and the freckle Goliath.

It was nearly midnight and Hermione had just finished collecting her notes. Just before she fell asleep, Mopsie screeched her pleas to be let out. Hermione groaned and slowly got out of her nice warm bed to let her out.

Mopsie gladly flew out and landed on the window table; she was telling Hermione to open the bloody window. Hermione groaned again and stumbled toward the window.

"Damn bird," Hermione muttered. This earned her a peck from Mopsie. "Now, if you aren't back by tomorrow at 7 p.m., you won't be allowed to see Kelloggs for a whole week. You got me?"

Mopsie hooted in reply. Mopsie was actually telling Hermione off, but she would never know that.

Kelloggs is Mopsie's boyfriend and also happens to be Lee Jordan's owl. How exactly Mopsie and Kelloggs had gotten together, Hermione and Lee never learned. Nor would they ever, since they don't speak owl.

As soon as the window was open, Mopsie flew away and Hermione hastily closed the window after her then crawled back in bed, instantly falling asleep.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

The next morning, Hermione woke at 11:23 a.m., the latest she had woken up in years. Fred was already awake, and dressed, surprisingly. He was reading a magazine in what he called his "man's chair." He was actually reading a _Mystical Witch_ magazine.

"Good morning, Hermione."

"Morning. Whatcha reading?"

"Oh, you would be familiar with this. A very interesting article entitled 'How to Devilsnare Your Wizard', by Hermione Granger."

"Oh god no! That was one of my first articles I wrote…in 1999." Hermione flopped down on the overstuffed puce coloured couch. It actually was quite comfortable, but the colour was still horrendous.

Fred smiled. "Did you come up with the title?"

"Hell no. That was someone else. I would have never wanted to write an article with that title, but they had to see my "capabilities." Ridiculous if you ask me."

"Yeah, especially since you were top of your year."

"Mmhmm."

Fred set the magazine down and stood up from his rather large leather chair; his "man's chair."

"So, what do you want for breakfast?"

"Anything's good. Surprise me."

"Alright. A surprise for Hermione Granger."

He went into the kitchen and started banging pots and pans, and opening and closing his Muggle refrigerator and cupboards. Minutes later, savory smells were wafting through Fred's flat, now making Hermione very hungry. A few more minutes later, Fred was urging Hermione off the couch and toward the kitchen table.

On the table were two place settings, with plates piled with French toast. The French toast was sprinkled with powdered sugar. There was a mound of whip cream on the top with a strawberry in the whip cream. Caramel was drizzled all over the plates and food in a chef's-like manner, and there was a caramelized strawberry and a dish of caramel instead of syrup. Fresh squeezed orange juice was the beverage in wine glasses. The table itself, with all of the food and such, looked as if it could fit in an upscale restaurant.

"Fred, you made all of this?"

"Yes."

"It looks…delicious."

"It should taste it, too."

Fred pulled out a chair. "Your seat, milady."

"Why, thank you." Hermione sat down in the offered seat while Fred took the other.

"Bon Appetite!" Fred said smiling. Hermione returned the favor.

Hermione took a bite. It was heaven; or at least, a step closer. By the end of her breakfast, she thought she was in heaven. Hermione had eaten everything on her plate, which made Fred quite happy. It was a tell-tale sign for Fred that she liked it.

"Fred, how did you get to be such a great cook?" Hermione asked after she had finished.

"My mum. It's genetic, I believe. Bill, Charlie, Ginny, George and I have got it. Even Percy."

"Ron doesn't have it, I know that much."

"Yeah. He's probably worse than you are, though you probably aren't as bad as you say you are."

"Trust me. I am."

"I could teach you, or at least improve your cooking."

"That would be wonderful! Then I won't have to go over to Harry and Ginny's when I need a home cooked meal. I will most definitely need to put in my article that you are a superb chef."

"Don't make me seem too great of a chef. The chefs in the world won't appreciate that too much."

"Oh, I won't do that; I don't' want to boost your ego any more than I already have," Hermione teased. Fred chuckled at this.

"So, since we're on the topic of your article, what type of things need to be in it?"

"Well, I have to find out what your favorite color is, your favorite food, your preference of girl, and where you would take her on a date. There are at least twenty more questions like that."

"That will certainly be fun."

"Oh, yes. And your daily routine is also to be published. More or less it's just an overview of your routine. Whatever you don't want published, I won't put in."

"No. Put _everything_ in. I want people to learn about the real Fred Weasley. But, do you think that you can put a few things that I haven't done in it?"

"Er, I suppose, if they're believable."

"What if I say I…swim in orange jello after I eat lunch, then eat the jello I swam in for a snack later?"

Hermione laughed. Then she got down to business. "I'm afraid that if I did that, it would get me fired!"

"Would that be such a bad thing? No more Bert the fat?"

"That's true, but, this job pays well."

"Is that the reason you became a journalist instead of becoming the first woman Minister of Magic, or rather, Ministress?"

"You know, if might have been a small deciding factor. Money is always helpful."

"Yes, but what did you _want_ to be, really? Certainly not a journalist; you hated Rita Skeeter."

"You're the first person to actually really question my profession, Fred. Ginny has, but after I told her about the money part, she lost interest. You know Ginny. She at least has a job that she likes. She's an Auror with her husband."

"Don't try to change the subject, Mione. What profession did you want for yourself?"

"When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a doctor. My mum and dad always said I had a knack for nursing the injured animals I found. And whenever there was a kid in my neighborhood that got hurt, I was the first to be there to help them. What can I say, I like to help people. I would have loved to be a MediWitch."

"Why didn't you become a MediWitch? You would have been great at it."

"The cost of school was too high for me, even on the scholarship program."

"Oh." Fred looked away from Hermione, ashamed even though Hermione was his friend. "Do you still want to be a MediWitch?"

"Of course I do. It's what I've always wanted to do."

"What kind?"

"I'd have to say, for high risk pregnancies."

"Well, that's certainly a different answer than I thought it was going to be. I thought you would have said the cursed people. You know, with hexes. Since, well, you were."

"Oh, well I had never eventhought of that."

"Really? Maybe because it was the most obvious choice, you hadn't even considered it."

"Yes, maybe."

"So why high risk pregnancies?"

Hermione had never one to bear her soul, but today was no ordinary day. Somehow, she felt compelled to tell Fred; to tell Fred anything and everything. She was at ease with Fred and would tell Fred this, which she had never told anyone this before. Not even Ginny.

She took a deep breath to prepare herself. She had never told anyone this. It had been a weight resting on her heart and now she was going to lift it off.

"When I started my fourth year, the craziest year by far at Hogwarts, my mum was four months pregnant. I was so happy to not be an only child anymore; I was going to be an older sister. It was after Christmas hols that I got a letter from my parents. My mum had gone into premature labor and my brother was born, but three months early. He was born on December 17 at 6:23 p.m. He died four hours later. There was nothing the doctors could do to save him. My parents had known the whole time that my mother's pregnancy was a high risk pregnancy, but they hadn't the heart to tell me. My mum had almost died giving birth to my brother. I, too, I learned in this letter, was a high risk baby. The only reason I survived is because I was born after my scheduled time. My mother was on bed rest the whole time when she was pregnant with me. She should have been on bed rest with Jensen, which they had named him, but she wasn't."

"I'm so sorry, Mione. That must have difficult."

"It was."Yet, Hermione felt much better; a burden that had been weighing on her for nearly six years.

"That gives perfect reason to why you wanted to be a high risk pregnancy MediWitch. A certainly noble cause. You will need to find a way so that you can fulfill your dream and save many lives."

"Yeah," Hermione sighed.Then she perked up. "Did you know that Ginny and Harry are coming home?"

"No. How do you?"

"Ginny is my best friend; she tells me everything first."

"_Why_ is she coming home _early_ from _Fiji_?" Fred sounded a little upset that she was leaving Fiji (Fiji!) early.

"Her letter said 'we have some news to tell you.' Yes, news."

"When is she coming home?"

"Today."

"Then I'm inviting Harry and Ginny over. We'll have a party!"

Fred had gone to get his owl, Rice Krispie, when an owl that goes by the name of Pookie tapped on a window. Hermione let Pookie in and took her letter from her.

_Dear Hermione, _

_Wherever you are, you should get this. Meet me at the Muggle restaurant Magic at 2 p.m. today. I need to tell you something desperately. The thing that I mentioned in my last letter, I mean._

_I expect you to be there, and if you're not, I'll Bat Bogey you to HELL!_

_Love, _

_Ginny_

Fred came out with Rice Krispie and as soon as they saw each other, Rice Krispie and Pookie lunged at each other.

"Now, this is what we call incest," Fred said. (Rice Krispie and Pookie are brother and sister, respectively. They, as well as Mopsie and Ron's second owl Chrysanthemum, Chrys for short (Ginny named her and Pig), are all Hedwig's children. Unfortunately, Hedwig had died a year ago (2000) at the ripe old age of ten. Her children have a long way to go, being only three.)

"Fred, Ginny just owled me to meet her at two. Is that possible?"

"Well, sure. It's not as if you have a binding contract with me that you can't leave me for a second. You go meet Ginny. I'll get stuff for our party, because I'm still owling Harry."

"But don't do anything interesting while I'm gone."

"I won't. I promise. You better get going; it's already 1:21."

"Damn it all!" Hermione ran to her room and pawed through her closet.

_What the bloody hell am I going to wear?

* * *

_

**End of this chapter. How'd you like it? I hope it was good. I promise that it will get more funuffily. **

**By the way this is the definition of _barmy_ thanks to _The Best of British - The American's guide to speaking British_ at the ****http/ Here it is: Barmy** - If someone tells you that you're barmy they mean you have gone **mad** or **crazy**. For example you'd have to be barmy to visit England without trying _black pudding_!

**The subject about the elephants is for you Nanners!**

**Next up: Ginny tells Hermione all and Fred and Hermione end up in a compromising position. **

**And lastly, the quote: **

A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy?  
-- _Albert Einstein_

**PS: To all you Brits, I'm sorry if I insulted you by being a horrible American attempting at being British. **


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Chapter FIVE is here! I've updated two chapters in two days! That's a feat, especially for me!**

**I'd like to thank myself for updating without the number of reviews I asked for. I just thought it was just time for this chapter to come. I hope you all enjoy and review well. Very well. **

**Enjoy!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron

* * *

**

_Chapter Five: Both a winner and a loser at the same time_

Hermione eventually picked out what she was going to wear, but that wasn't until _after_ she had her two minutes and forty-eight second shower and her quick application of makeup and fixing her hair.

Now, this Hermione, the slightly materialistic Hermione, hadn't always been like this. It was just because of the War.

After Harry had defeated Voldemort on his eighteenth birthday. He had found all of the Horcruxes, and learned that the last one was still with Voldemort. Many people had died; many people had been cursed with new hexes created by the Death Eaters. Hermione was one of the unfortunate many that had been hit with a new curse. She had been slowly dwindling when Draco Malfoy, who had never officially became a Death Eater, confessed too how to reverse the spell that affected Hermione and many others. She had been in St. Mungo's for eight weeks, laid up, unable to really do anything. After being released, she realized that she really needed to begin taking care of herself; she had seen too many people die and learned that life was precious.

Hermione started pampering herself and making more time for her physical appearance (much shorter showers). Hermione began working out and got into great shape. She actually began wearing makeup; her bland wardrobe became core colourful and youthful. With this change, Hermione became more relaxed and learned to go with the flow.

To her friends and family, the new Hermione suited her much better. She was happier and healthier, but also bookish (she still needed to read all of the books known to man), punctual, and school conscientious. The new Hermione was freer and slightly shoe obsessed.

Anyway, Hermione did her hair and makeup and then finally picked out something to wear. She chose her silver-grey top that showed _some _cleavage (because Hermione does have boobs) and her cute flowing black skirt that reached just below her knees. To make the outfit complete, Hermione wore her pink rounded-toe pumps and her diamond studs that her mother gave her for her twenty-first birthday. She grabbed her tiny little purse and her wool winter coat and headed out into the living room.

"Presentable?" Hermione asked as she spun around.

Fred gawked for a moment, then finally found his voice. "More than presentable; gorgeous." And he truly meant it.

"Thank you Fred," Hermione said, blushing a tad. "Now don't go do anything interesting."

"I won't." Fred stood up and gave Hermione a hug. "Tell me whatever she tells you."

"Only if you can keep a secret," Hermione said. She gave Fred a kiss on the cheek. "Goodbye Fred. See you soon!" And she Apparated with a 'pop.'

Hermione Apparated into Diagon Alley since she couldn't just Apparate into the Muggle restaurant Magic. She walked out of Diagon Alley and into Muggle London. She walked a few blocks and then arrived perfectly punctual at Magic.

Hermione had walked into the romantic café atmosphere and saw Ginny (and her gorgeous red hair) in the back left corner of the restaurant where the two best friends always sat. She rushed over to Ginny and tapped on her shoulder.

Ginny had been off in Fairyland and came back the instant Hermione tapped her shoulder. Ginny jumped up and enveloped Hermione in a hug.

"Hermione!" she squealed. "It's so good to see you! You look fabulous."

"Thank you! So do you!" Hermione and Ginny sat down, still quite excited to be seeing each other after quite some time.

Ginny grabbed one of Hermione's hands and squeezed it. Ginny was nicely tanned and had a certain glow about her.

"Oh, it's so great to be back in Britain! Fiji was wonderful, but I couldn't stay a moment longer. I was just ready to burst with anticipation!"

"So, what's the 'news' you wrote me about?" Hermione asked, if only to confirm her theory about what it was.

"Okay, you've waited long enough…I'm pregnant!" Ginny's smile was from ear to ear, but Hermione's was even larger, if that was possible. She was so happy for her best friend!

"Congratulations! Oh, god! I get to be Aunt Hermione!"

"Yes yes yes! I'm so excited; I get to be a mother!"

The two girls, or rather, women, squealed, grinning ferociously and giggled a lot. Mid-celebration, a waiter came over.

"What can I get you ladies?"

"I'll have the special," Ginny said, not caring what it was.

"And I'll have the same," Hermione echoed.

"Alright. What to drink? Any wine?"

"No," Hermione abruptly said. After all, Ginny was pregnant and couldn't drink anything alcoholic. "Just to waters with lemon, please."

The waiter left and Hermione and Ginny started their celebration again.

"So, when are you due?"

"Oh, some time in September. The twenty-fifth I think."

"Your baby was conceived on Christmas?" Hermione asked. She could calculate quite quickly.

"Mmm, yes. That has to be my best Christmas yet."

"I bet."

"Yes. So what have you been up to Miss Granger?"

"Oh, I've been working. But honestly, we got together to talk about your news, not about mine. So, what is the sex of the baby?"

"Wait, you have news?"

"Ginny," Hermione warned.

"Sorry, Harry and I don't want to know yet. We'll learn after the baby is born. You're as clueless as we are."

"I'm guessing…a boy…_and_ a boy. You'll have twins. Or maybe a girl and a girl? I don't know, but I'm saying twins."

"Alright, twins. Now what is _your_ news?"

"Oh, my news. All it is that I'm doing a major article-"

"Really?"

"On the Wizarding world's-"

"Wizarding world's what?"

"Ginny," Hermione said laughing, "if you let me finish my sentence, you'll learn what I'm trying to say."

"Sorry," Ginny said sheepishly; she couldn't help it; she was excited for her best friend to have some good news.

"As I was saying, I'm doing a major article about the wizarding world's most eligible bachelor."

"No bloody way! You're doing an article on _Fred_?"

"Yes. How did you know he's the wizarding world's most eligible bachelor?"

"Every heterosexual witch and homosexual wizard knows that."

At this moment, Hermione felt a slight tug on her right wrist. "Well, I didn't know when I got the assignment," Hermione said, ignoring the tugging.

"Oh well, now you do. So how is Fred?"

"He's good, but he was thinking you were a bit barmy to leave Fiji early." Now Hermione was feeling an insistent tug on her wrist.

"Ginny," she said, "for some odd reason, I have the sensation that I have to go back to Fred's flat."

"Really? Wait, you're staying at Fred's flat?"

"Yes. For the assignment; for a week." More insistent tugging.

"Well, that's interesting."

"Mmm, yes. I really think I should go back."

"Alright. I'll have the food boxed and I'll pay for it. You go to the loo and Apparate to Fred's flat. I'll go to the loo after I pay and I'll see you there."

"Alright. You have to think 'Fred's Fab-u-lous Bachelor Pad,'" Hermione told Ginny as she stood up and put on her coat. "Exactly like that." Ginny nodded.

Hermione waved goodbye then headed for the loo. In the loo, there was another woman fixing her makeup.

"Hullo," Hermione said.

"Hullo," the woman returned.

Hermione went into one the loo stalls. She stood there for a few minutes, waiting to hear the woman leave. She never did. Then Hermione had an idea. She flushed the toilet and unlocked the stall door. The noise from the toilet drowned out the 'pop' from Apparation.

The woman had heard the toilet flush and waited for Hermione to walk out of the stall. She never did. The woman thought she was going mental.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

After Hermione had left to meet Ginny, Fred, who was feeling quite lonesome, invited Harry over. Harry was not there yet, so Fred had started reading another issue of _Mystical Witch_. He had just begun Hermione's third article when he felt a tugging on his left wrist. It went away momentarily after he scratched it.

Fred then began reading the article where he had left off. He started feeling the tug again.

_Why do I feel a tugging on my bloody wrist? No one is here_, he thought.

"George, you bugger, come out here now," Fred said. No one came out. "George, this isn't funny." Still no one. "Hermione? Are you back?" he whispered.

Instantly, Hermione appeared in Fred's lap.

"Well, hello Hermione. You weren't gone long."

"I know, but I kept on having this feeling that I needed to come back here."

Hermione lifted her right wrist; Fred's left wrist followed. There was that tugging.

Fred jumped up quickly, knockings Hermione off his lap. This only knocked Fred down too; landing him on top of Hermione.

"Sorry," Fred apologized.

"Yeah." Fred just stayed on top of Hermione instead of getting off.

"Fred?"

"Yes Hermione?"

"Can you get off of me?"

He blushed. "Oh, yeah, sure."

As he got up, he brought Hermione's right arm with him. Her right wrist was practically attached to his left wrist. He gently helped her up with his other hand.

"This is so strange," Hermione said. "I fall down, so do you."

"I get up, and so do you."

"It's like we're-"

"Connected," they said together. They looked at their wrists. Sure enough, they actually were connected.

"But how?"

"I don't know. When I told Ginny about my assignment with you, I felt this strange tugging on my wrist."

"Really? So did I! I was reading one of your articles and then thought about the article you were going to write about me."

"Oh bugger," Hermione said as she realized what this meant.

Hermione sped off in the direction of her room, with Fred dragging behind her. She went over to the table by the window and searched through the papers there with her left hand. She soon found what she had been looking for.

"Found it," she said. She began skimming through it. "Questions to be asked: no. Daily routine: no. Terms of agreement: yes."

Hermione swiftly read through this, and then she got to the part she was looking for.

"'If either party in this agreement leaves the other's side, no binding will occur. However, if either party or both mention, think, talk, remember, etcetera; the assignment, a binding contract will occur…blah blah blah…The wrists of the parties will be bound together until the conclusion of the assignment.'"

"Oh bloody hell! There actually was a binding contract!" Fred said.

"It seems so," Hermione said slowly. "And until the end of the assignment."

"Wonderful!" Fred said happily. "Six more days bound to the lovely Hermione Granger." To those on the outside of the conversation, it would have sounded like Fred was being sarcastic, but he wasn't.

"Six days? That means nights too!" Hermione realized. "Where are we going to sleep?"

Fred smirked. "Mione, you're welcome to sleep with me."

"Fred!" Hermione soundly whacked Fred on the side of the head with her non-attached hand.

"What?" Fred asked innocently. "I wasn't implying anything."

Hermione turned to face him head on. She roughly poked him on his chest. "You– better – have- not," Hermione said, pausing between each word to poke him. Slowly, he stepped back with each poke. Soon, Fred was up against Hermione's bed frame, and she was right up against him.

"I'm pretty sure I wasn't," he said. Hermione was shocked and let off her guard for a moment. And that moment gave Fred the perfect timing.

He promptly began tickling her.

Now, it is very important to know that Hermione is ticklish all over, bet her most vulnerable spot is just beneath her ribs. And Fred took advantage of this.

Fred was tickling the living daylights out of Hermione; she couldn't get a breath in edge-wise because she was consumed with laughing. Somehow, Fred had gotten Hermione flipped on her back and gotten her shoes off. Fred was straddling her, with Hermione squirming all over beneath him.

In the background, someone cleared their throat. Fred stopped tickling Hermione and she stopped squirming. They looked toward the doorway; Harry and Ginny were standing there.

"Are we interrupting something?" Harry couldn't help but ask.

Fred and Hermione flushed. Fred stood up pulling Hermione up to a sitting position. Hermione then noticed that her skirt had rode up to what could barely be categorized as a skirt, and fixed it.

"Um, no," Fred said.

"Okay. We'll wait in the living room then." Harry took Ginny's hand and they walked toward the living room with their shoulders shaking.

"Fred!" Hermione hissed. "That was perfect! I'm definitely _not_ putting that in my article."

"Yes, I know." Fred ran his right hand through his hair. "How are we going to deal with our little problem here? Is there a way to undo it?"

Hermione sighed. "No. It's on for the duration of the time."

"Then how are we going to explain this invisible handcuff on us?"

"I don't know. How could we? It would look conspicuous if we never moved six inched away from each other at all times."

"I know!" Fred said. "We can pretend we're a couple! We can hold hands all the time and nobody will ever know."

"But-"

"No buts. It's a brilliant plan. Now, we just have to go along with it."

"Fred, I'm a horrible actress."

"Oh, it's easy. Just pretend you're sucking up to Bert."

"I do _not_ suck up to Bert. He'd only try to get me in bed with him if I did."

"Oh, alright. Well, do it anyway."

Hermione started walking out of the room, but Fred pulled her back.

"Wait, Mione, your shoes."

"Oh right." She put on her shoes and then faced Fred; she had an idea. "If we're going to make this believable, we'll _really_ have to make it believable."

"And how do you suppose we do that?" Fred inquired.

"Well…" Hermione started. Then she grabbed Fred's face and kissed him. And Fred kissed her back. Well, very well."

_I think this might work.

* * *

_

**AN: End of chapter! **

**Just so you know, that last part in italics was both Fred and Hermione's thoughts. **

**Here's the quote: **

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.  
-- _Demetri Martin_

**Please, review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Dear readers, I'm dreadfully sorry that it has been taking me so long to have updated. I was on vacation and then I had to go my great-aunts funeral. So sorry. But thank you to all who reviewed while I was away. I'm one away from 40 reviews.**

**Erg. Working on the seventh chappie. Tell me if you likey. (This chapter, not 7.)**

**Quotes at bottom as always. I love you reviewers!**

**One last thing, I've decided to make a playlist for this story. If you have any good ideas for any chapter, tell me readers. (Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan is where I got this from. And another actual author. ) **

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron**

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_Chapter Six: You never know when you're finished_

To the two invented in this deadly deception, time seemed to stand still. To the two who knew that the two involved in this deadly deception, time kept going. And they knew that there was no way that whatever the two involved in this deadly deception were doing would work. To put it simply, Harry and Ginny knew that Fred and Hermione weren't telling something quite vital to their friends. But that is beside the point. Actually, only a little beside the point. But anyway.

As the kiss ended, the kiss Fred and Hermione shared, was by far one of the best kisses they both have ever had (though it wasn't really a "real" kiss in terms of relationship kisses).

As the kiss ended, Fred and Hermione had opened their eyes and were breathing quite dramatically.

"Ehmmm. We got that first mountain climbed, eh?"

"Mmm…indeed we did."

"Alright then." Fred grabbed Hermione's right hand in his left (their connected hands). "You ready to do this?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Hermione replied.

And they walked out of Hermione's bedroom, hand in hand, shaking in their boots (or in Fred's case, his brown and carolina blue Pumas and Hermione's pink rounded-toe Prada pumps). They met the Potters in the living room of Fred's flat. Both Potters were sitting angelically on the overstuffed, puce coloured, but incredibly comfortable couch.

"Why, hello Fred and Hermione."

"Hello Ginny and Harry."

"Hello Harry."

"Hello Hermione." Harry and Ginny remained sitting, staring at the other two. Fred and Hermione remained standing, staring at the other two.

"Well, this is all wonderfully uncomfortable," Ginny commented. "Why don't I just blurt out our news, eh?"

"Fine by me," Fred shrugged. It could only be good news after all.

"Sure, I already know. Hearing a second time would be quite alright," Hermione told truthfully.

"Alright, well, I'm pregnant!" Ginny exclaimed.

Fred's face melted into a smile. "Congratulations!"

He walked over to hug his baby sister, letting go of Hermione's hand to hug Ginny. Hermione quickly rushed to Fred's side so no one would notice their predicament.

"Come here, Harry," Hermione motioned to Harry. It was obvious that he was ecstatic. He came over to Hermione and she gave him a one-armed hug. Let's just say it was quite an awkward hug on Hermione's part.

It was even more awkward when Fred tried to give Harry a hug. One of his arms was all twisted, and so was Hermione's, and it's even just too painful to describe in words.

"Well," Fred said after the Potters were congratulated, "Hermione and I have to tell you both something."

"Really?" Harry asked, quite enthused.

"Yes. You see, Fred and I well, we're-" Hermione stumbled.

"We're dating," Fred answered quickly.

"That's great! For a moment there, I thought you were going to say you were pregnant!" Harry laughed.

"Congratulations, you two!" Ginny said.

Harry looked at his watch after he and Ginny gave the "new" couple awkward hugs. "I'm sorry, but we're going to have to cut this celebration short. Ginny and I have to get ready to meet Ron and his semi-new girlfriend. Margaret Square or something. I can never remember her name. Some Yank. Ron says she's a catch. Something about her chest."

"No, her charm Harry," Ginny fixed, chuckling. "She's really very nice."

"Oh right, her charm. Never could quite understand what he was saying. He was rambling on."

"Well, congratulations again, Harry and Ginny," Fred said.

"Bye now." And Harry and Ginny Apparated home.

As soon as they were in the safety of their bedroom, both Harry and Ginny blurted out at the same moment, "I don't believe them for a second!"

Back at Fred's flat, Hermione blurted out, "They don't believe us for a second."

"Yes, I did get that impression myself," Fred said. Then his whole mood changed. "A Potter kid! Fabulous! I do believe that it will be twins. And I'm looking forward to corrupting them."

"I thought that they were going to have twins too!"

"I'm hungry. And I'm quite bored doing nothing. I'll make lunch, since it is quite impossible that you and Ginny ate lunch in the fifteen minutes that you were with her."

"That is quite true."

Fred attempted cooking with one hand, being that one hand was incapable of moving freely. He soon gave up, then decided against it and thought this time would be put to better use if he taught Hermione how to make fettuccini with a thick and creamy alfredo sauce. (This was the 15 minute fettuccini alfredo version.)

The recipe was quite simple and Fred had all the ingredients: 8 ounces cream, cheese – cubed, 3/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese, 1 stick butter – softened, 1/2 cup heavy cream, 8 ounces fettuccini -- cooked & drained, and 1/8 teaspoon fresh grated nutmeg. The instructions, too, were simple: In a large saucepan, stir together the cream cheese, parmesan, butter, and cream. Heat, stirring, until smooth. Add hot, cooked fettuccini, and toss until well covered. Serve immediately, sprinkled with nutmeg.

Hermione was convinced that she would burn the pasta and botch the sauce, but she did neither. Fred encouraged Hermione and helped her some. The by-product was fettuccini with a few hard pieces and an edible alfredo sauce that actually tasted alright with some extra nutmeg and pepper.

Though the fettuccini alfredo wasn't made by any Rachel Ray or Emeril, it was filling and good. And Fred was quite satisfied with Hermione's progress.

"Hermione, that was nowhere near as bad as you said you cooked."

"But Fred, you helped me."

"That's a minor technicality. Besides, I didn't help you that much."

"Hmm. Just a minor technicality."

Fred and Hermione did nothing after eating for quite sometime. They had dealt with the pots and pans and kitchen counters, then they had gone and sat on the overstuffed, puce coloured couch.

They sat there for what seemed to be ages, but was really only forty minutes. They sat there in silence, next to each other, so close you couldn't tell if they were touching or not.

Fred, however, broke the silence.

"Hermione?"

"Yes Fred?"

"I have to use the loo."

"The loo? You don't need to alert the media."

"But what about our situation?"

"Oh. I forgot about that."

"Hmm. Well, come on."

"Alright," Hermione said, getting up. She followed Fred to the bathroom.

Fred, being a male, had no need to sit on the toilet, so Hermione was lucky in this aspect. Hermione stood behind Fred, facing the opposite direction that he was facing. She actually had a very nice painting to look at.

Fred finished, actually put the lid down _and_ washed his hands like a good boy.

Hermione followed Fred out of the bathroom and back into the living room.

"Hmm. That was interesting. I haven't quite done _that_ before," Fred confessed. "When you need to use the loo that might be even more interesting."

"Oh hell. I'll need to find a spell that will make that a little more private."

Fred gulped. This was Hermione, a female, a private female. "Uh, Hermione, you're not, well, dealing with female issues, now are you?"

"What?" Hermione had to think about this. "Female issues? Oh! No, that was last week."

Fred sighed with relief. "Good. I'm not so good with that type of thing. Ginny used to constantly torment me."

"Ginny, torment you? Never!" Hermione laughed and Fred joined in.

"Soooo…….What do you want to do?"

"Well, I suppose I should make some progress on my article." Hermione conjured some parchment and a quill. "So, I'll ask you some questions."

"Fine by me."

"Alright." Hermione tapped the quill in her left hand on the parchment, and immediately, twenty-four questions popped up. "First question: What is your full name Fred?"

"The first question is what my full name is? That's quite an easy question. It's Frederick Nevan Weasley."

"Fred, doesn't Nevan mean "little saint"?"

"Indeed it does. Wonderful, isn't it?"

"More like ironic, but next question. What are your parents' names?"

"This is ridiculous. What is with these questions? Do you know who came up with these questions?"

"I honestly don't know who wrote them. But if I did, I'd knock some sense into them. As if people don't already know the answers. Amalia probably didn't tell me for the safety of whoever this person is. Probably didn't want me to strangle this person because of their stupidity."

"Ha! That's smart! Also, probably, so I wouldn't strangle this person."

"Most likely, yes. So, now it's time to answer the question."

"Arthur and Molly Weasley."

"Now you have to name all of your siblings, your siblings' significant others, and your nieces and nephews."

"Oh bugger. This will take up some time. To make it easiest, I'll start with the eldest and work my way down. There's Bill and his wife Fleur. They have Adelie, Andre, Armelle, and baby number four is on the way. Charlie is married to this Romanian girl whose name I still cannot pronounce even after the three years he's been married to her. But I do know that her name starts with an 'N'."

"Nadalyna?"

"Yes! That's it! And they have a little boy Ceallach (pronounced Kay-lok). We just call him Cea (sounds like Kay!). Percy, last I heard, has been trying to pluck up the courage to ask his girlfriend of one hundred years, Penelope, to marry him. George is, of course, married to Alicia. They have hopes for kids in the future. Then Ron is currently attached to a very charming Yank, Margaret Box. She is, may I say, is quite charming and she has some…assets. Ron's told me that he's thinking about marrying her, but I think it's just because he's impregnated her. Not that I know that she's pregnant or anything."

Hermione stopped writing and looked at her left hand. She had a small, sad smile on her face.

"Is Ron happy?"

"You know, Mione, I think he is. I'm sorry it never worked out for you two." He looked absolutely sincere.

"Thanks. As much as I wished not to hurt Ron, I couldn't fool myself any longer. It wouldn't have worked anyway. We were on our outs."

Fred held Hermione's hand comfortingly; he gave it a squeeze and a smiled lightly. Hermione couldn't help but smile back.

"I know you have some more family members, so let's continue!"

"Gotcha. After Ron, there is little Ginerva, or rather, Ginny. But I suppose she isn't that little anymore. She's married to none other than Harry Potter, who she has had a crush on since she was ten. And they are expecting." Fred paused; his brow furrowed. "When is this article being published?"

"February issue. For Valentine's Day. It will be a very special special, my article."

"Good, then by the time it's issued, all my siblings will have their own news known to the world?"

"They should. If not, we can ask them if it's alright."

"Okay. All's well then. Ask me another question. I'm on a roll."

"I'm sorry to disappoint you, but it's another ridiculous one. What is your age?"

"Oh bugger, now I have to apply maths! Let me see: born April 1, 1978. That makes me almost 23. Next?"

"What is your profession?"

"I'm in sales…joke sales. I'm a prankster by profession."

"Favourite colour?"

"Blue."  
"Favourite food?"

"Um…fish and chips."

"Favourite animal?"

"Dragon."

"Best friend?"

"George."

"Favourite smell?"

"Rain."

"Um…hat size?" It sounded like Hermione was questioning the question.

"Hat size? What the bloody hell is a hat size?"

"I'm not quite sure myself. We'll pass that one. Who do you miss the most who is dead?"

"I'd have to say Filch. I loved bothering that man." Fred chuckled. "To be honest, I miss Dumbledore the most. He always knew what to say. Even to my mum when I was in trouble. He was just a great chap."

"Yes. I miss him too."

The two sat remembering the man called Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. The man who was a grandfather to all, but so much like a child in his fascination of candy. They remembered his insightfully odd, yet oddly insightful, words of wisdom, for he had plenty of it. (He was one hundred and fifty-seven.) They remembered his half-moon glasses and twinkling eyes. They remembered the most powerful man that they ever knew.

"What's the next question?" Fred asked softly, quite aware that he was ruining the moment dedicated to Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Hermione willingly checked her parchment.

"What is your favourite song?"

"Oh. That's difficult. I like music. But…I'd have to say this song by the Muggle band Cartel. It's called 'Honestly.' Quite good of a song."

"Cartel? You like Cartel? How did you ever hear of it?"

"Yeah. You know Cartel too?"

"My cousin lives in the States and is married to the lead singer, Will Pugh's, older brother Ben."

"No bloody way! That's amazing! Just goes to show that it's a small world after all."

"It truly does. Moving on, what is your favourite drink?"

"Whoever came up with these questions is a barmy old codger. Why, next I'll be asked what my favourite weather is!"

"Er, you are asked what your favourite weather is, actually. But Fred, you could always make some answers up. Random ones."

"No no. I'm going to be as honest as possible. So my favourite beverage is butterbeer, with Fire Whiskey following closely after that. Next."

"Favourite place?"

"The Burrow. No question about that."

"How old were you for your first kiss? And with whom?"

"Thirteen, with Angelina Johnson."

"Would you bungee jump?"

"Hell yeah."

"Favourite season?"

"Fall because the leaves match my hair." A few laughs accompanied that comment.

"Favourite weather?"

"Thunderstorms."

"Favourite memory?"

"When I was ten, George, Ron, Ginny and I put all of the gnomes in our garden in ballerina clothes. We even made them dance. It was all Ginny's idea. Mum wasn't too happy, but she still thought it was funny."

"I would have loved to see that. This next question is interesting. What would your profession be if you were a Muggle?"

"I'd be a clown. I would most certainly be a clown if I were a Muggle."

"You probably would be. Now, name one thing that most people don't know about you."

"I love Muggle stuff almost as much as my dad. My favourite Muggle thing is those feather boa things. And also, I cry at chick flicks."

Hermione smiled, and thought to herself, "It must be a Weasley male thing. Ron did the same thing."

"Only two more questions. Where would your ideal date take place?"

"Truthfully, as long as we have good food, a good conversation, and good laughs, it doesn't matter where we are."

"Last question: What is your "type" of girl?"

"My type of girl, eh? She'd have to be smart, pretty, funny, slightly sarcastic, and she would absolutely have to have brown eyes. . A nice smile too. Can't forget that. This "girl" of mine would have to be able to put up with my experimentations for new products and when I'm making too many jokes. She'd also have to be on top of things. Not literally, but she'd also have to have good control. She'd just have to be able to deal with a big family and be very personable. And if we were ever to be married, she would have to want a very large family."

Hermione wrote this all down. This girl of his sounded oddly familiar.

Fred was rethinking his answer. This girl of his sounded oddly familiar.

"Well, that was fun. Is there anything else you can tell me about this article you're going to write?"

"Yes, plenty."

"Tell me all. I like to be informed about these types of things."

"Okay. I have to fill pages 20 through 26 with Fred Weasley galore. I had to ask you those twenty-four questions, I have yet to write your daily happenings, and I have to evaluate my experience with the wizarding world's most eligible bachelor. A ten question on Fred Weasley trivia quiz will have to be created. You can help me with that. And, there will also be an essay contest that you'll have to judge about why this essayist should meet you. Well, it's not really an essay, but a one hundred word paper or more."

"Wow. Six pages of a magazine dedicated to me? I'll never get a moments peace after this magazine issue is published."

"Don't worry. Security will be upped just a smidge. Thanks to _Mystical Witch_'s Fred Weasley sales."

"But security is so annoying. they are always…guarding you. It might be easier if I wasn't the most eligible bachelor. I mean, I love all the publicity for Weasleys' Wizarding Whizzes, but it's highly overrated."

"Harry always told me that. Publicity has just barely died down for him. I'm quite glad that I don't have that problem."

"Yeah, but if anyone finds out we're attached, you'll need to be protected. All of my previous girlfriends slash friends that are girls have gotten death threats form my super dedicated fans. And then, you'll also be hunted down by journalists."

"I can take 'em all. I did hex twenty Death Eaters in one go. And, I am a journalist. I know how they think: dirty."

"But I don't want you to get caught up in all the hype of it."

"That's really sweet Fred. I'm sure that I'll be able to handle it with your help if this does happen."

"That is quite true."

Their conversation ended there. Fred grabbed a magazine and Hermione began rewriting her notes and such into article form on the overstuffed puce coloured couch. For dinner, they ordered in; pizza. Hermione used the loo after she found quite an efficient privacy spell. Fred did too, since he drank twelve butterbeers. (Fred acquired an immunity to the slight alcohol in butterbeer from drinking quite a lot of it. Twelve butterbeers, in fact, have about two-thirds the alcohol as Muggle alcohol. And that's quite a lot. Hermione would've been a little bit more than tipsy if she had four butterbeers.)

The two of them watched at least three Muggle movies following their loo trips until they decided at 11:30 that it was time to "hit the hay" as some country hicks would say.

It was decided that Fred's king sized bed would be where they would sleep. Hermione was quite fine with this until she realized what that meant.

_Oh bugger bugger bugger! My bloody pajamas can't quite be considered as pajamas!_

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**AN: Chapter FINISHED! Yay! Took only nearly 3 weeks for me to update, but I did! **

**The quote, my dearies:**

Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished.  
-- Leslie Nielsen

**Review please! One more until 40!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: Aha! My seventh chapter! I hope you all like it. **

**Pajama parties. (Not quite.) Silly Showers. Basically, the first wonderfully exciting handcuffed day from hell. Possibly from heaven. (This part I'm writing before I even know what was going to happen. I don't know if it's going to end up hellish or not.)**

**The quotes will be at the bottom as always. **

**Thanks so much reviewers! I've gotten TWENTY-SOMETHING reviews for just this one chapter! I love you all too much!**

**I've got _IMPORTANT NEWS_** **at the bottom. Make sure you read it!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron**

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_Chapter 7: Looking at the Stars_

Hermione's mind was going berserk. She couldn't possibly wear those striped shorts that could barely be classified as shorts; they barely covered her bum. And there was the top. She usually wore a cami without a bra. That would settle well with Fred. Ron saw her in her "pajamas" once, and that was nearly all he could take.

But then again, Fred wasn't Ron. He was older. But he was a Weasley. He was more mature. But he was a major prankster. And he was so…Fred.

Hermione eventually decided that she'd just wear a bra underneath her normal pajamas.

Fred was having a conniption. Hermione would be sharing his bed with him. And he only wore his boxers to bed. He couldn't just wear his boxers to bed. Angelina had once told him that with his shirt off, he could easily turn on any girl.

But then again, Hermione wasn't any girl. She wasn't purely attracted by looks. But then again, who wasn't at least a little attracted by looks? She was smart. But she was a sarcastic know-it-all. And she was so…Hermione.

Fred eventually decided that he'd just wear a shirt with his boxers.

"Fred, are you going to get ready for bed first or am I?"

"Since we're sleeping in my room, you should get ready first."

"Alright." So Hermione led Fred into her room and into her closet.

Hermione undressed and dressed herself with a wave of her wand, just to spare the embarrassment for herself of Fred.

Fred was quite amazed at the body Hermione had. Her "pajamas" (if you could call them that) surely showed her assets. She was a tiny person, with a flat stomach, long legs, noticeable hips, apparent boobs (especially wearing just a cami), a shapely torso, strong lean arms, a graceful neck, and smooth soft skin. She was just shy of 5'6", which was quite dramatic next to Fred's 6'6" frame.

The two walked side by side into Fred's room. He went into his closet, and dressed and undressed with a wave of his wand.

In what you could call his pajamas, you could see the muscles in Fred's chest strain when he stretched. He was incredibly tall, with a runner's look to him. His legs and arms were muscular. He had broad shoulders and chiseled features. In three words, he could be described as every woman's dream.

Eventually, Fred and Hermione got into Fred's bed. But that wasn't until after they had both gotten a glass of water, went to the loo, brushed their teeth, fluffed their pillows, and adjusted their bed covers.

Fred's bed faced the North wall of his bedroom and was on the south wall. The west was nearly entirely windows. And there were, of course, massive hunter green curtains. The curtains matched the pattern on Fred's bedding. The carpeting was off-white like the crisp one thousand count Egyptian cotton sheets on Fred's bed. Fred's bed frame and dressers were made of cherry wood and made the pale yellow walls stick out. There were pictures covering the walls; pictures of every Weasley and Potter and many friends.

Because of their predicament, Hermione could only be on the right side of the bed, and Fred could only be on the left. At first, they were over on each side as far as they could go. (They thought of the cooties to be caught for a moment.) They soon realized that it was incredibly uncomfortable (and that, no, you would not catch cooties). As a result of this realization, they moved closer to each other. It took a few minutes, because they only inched two inches at a time. Eventually, they were laying next to each other and almost, just almost, touching.

"Well, Fred," Hermione said into the darkness of Fred's bedroom, "goodnight. I hope you don't snore."

"Goodnight Hermione. I hope _you_ don't snore."

Fred immediately fell asleep. And he did snore. But only a little. It was more like a gentle wheezing. It was oddly comforting.

When Hermione realized that Fred was deeply asleep (and she wasn't), she moved about trying to find a more comfortable position. She settled on putting her head on the sleeping Fred's arm. He was indeed, quite a comfortable pillow. She quickly fell asleep since she was so very comfortable. And so was Fred. (Comfortable, I mean.)

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

It was nearly ten o'clock when Fred Weasley awoke from a quite restful sleep. He had tried desperately to get up, but there was this _lump_ that seemed to be _breathing_ sprawled across his entire body. Okay, it wasn't across his _whole_ body because it was a smallish lump. Or at least smaller than Fred.

His eyes weren't quite in focus even though he was awake, so therefore, whatever was on him was a big lump.

Fred tried pushing the lump off of him, but it just clung closer to him.

"You bloody lump! Let go of me!" Fred mumbled, quite loudly to the lump.

"Fred, you're so bloody muscular," the lump said.

_Oh dear Merlin, the bloody lump is bloody talking to me!_

The lump moved, resting its head on Fred's stomach, simultaneously, permanently attaching a fist to his longish sort of hair. (Now, Fred's hair wasn't past his shoulders; it was barely passed his ears. This haircut suited him quite well and differentiated him from George easily.)

Slowly, another hand crept its way up Fred's chest and was left on his shoulder. This woke Fred up entirely.

He shot out of his bed. "Hermione!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

With this sudden movement, Hermione landed half on the bed, half off, with covers wrapped every which way.

"Fred! Get me up this instant!" she cried, wide awake. Who wouldn't be awake after being knocked off (well, actually, yanked off, but who's paying attention?) a bed when they had been quite comfortable on a human pillow?

Now, Fred and Hermione were still entirely and wholly attached. Fred and Hermione's wrists were still connected by an invisible set of handcuffs.

"Sorry, Hermione," Fred said as he lifted the scantily clad Hermione off the floor. She had bed hair. And her top was up near her ribs. And her shorts were incredibly tight. Fred was having a little trouble controlling himself. "Um…I have to go to the loo now!"

And so, Hermione was dragged to the loo by Fred. He relieved himself, both in body and spirit. Hermione looking like that, well, did things to a man. Oh course, Fred was very good at being secretive. He had lots of secrets.

But sharing secrets is for later.

Hermione, while Fred was relieving himself, was thinking at what would have alarmed him so much to jump from his bed, knocking her out of it. Much to her dismay, she couldn't quite think of one reason. But then, maybe it was because she looked absolutely monstrous in the morning? Or was it because of her hair? Or, did she snore? Or had she talked in her sleep? Or…oh there were too many choices! Just too many. Mostly because Hermione began thinking the worst things possible.

But, anyway.

Fred and Hermione went into the living room and Fred charmed the coffee-pot to make some coffee. He needed his black this morning.

They read the Daily Prophet. Nothing was too exciting in the news today, except that there was a birth announcement from Harry and Ginny Potter. 'Mr. and Mrs. Potter will be expecting in late September.' There was also an engagement announcement for a 'Mr. Percy Ignatius Weasley' and a 'Miss Penelope Gray Clearwater'. Yes yes; the Weasleys are a very busy bunch.

It was nearing ten o'clock when Fred was getting a little antsy.

"Hermione?"

"Yes Fred?"

"How are we to take showers?"

"How are we to take showers? How _are_ we going to take showers? I don't have a bloody clue!"

"Oh bugger. Isn't there a spell?"

"I'm afraid not. I went through all of the privacy spells yesterday. I don't recall any spell for taking showers when two people are connected."

"Damn. Well, I guess we're just going to have to take showers together."

Hermione sighed deeply. "Bloody binding contract," she hissed, just loud enough so Fred could juts barely hear.

"I hear you."

"Well, let's take a shower then."

So, they did. And Hermione was a tad apprehensive. Fred was a tad what he would call "uneasy", but that was just a different way of saying apprehensive.

This whole "issue" was a little awkward. Seeing each other…naked? For the, well, first, no, second time. Oh yes, the second time.

Let's go way back…well not way back, only the summer after the Golden Trio's seventh Year. Both Hermione and Harry had come over to the Weasleys for part of their summers. Harry for Ginny, Hermione for Ron. But anyway.

Hermione and Ginny were talking together, as girls oftentimes do, about what they were going to do to play with their man's head. Eventually, Ginny fell asleep while thinking of a great way to mess with Harry. Hermione couldn't fall asleep.

It was late at night. Very late. So late, it could be considered as morning. Since she couldn't sleep, Hermione was going to take a very early shower so that she missed the Weasley shower rush. She knew that it was impossible for any Weasley to awake this early. So, she felt safe in just wearing a towel into the bathroom.

The bathroom door was closed and the light was still on. It hadn't seemed to faze Hermione at all. Probably just had been forgotten. So, Hermione went in. And there was Fred. In all his glory.

Hermione was so shocked, that her hands went to her face, letting go of her towel. She too, was now baring all.

"Her-Hermione!" Fred said.

"Oh bloody hell." Hermione picked up her towel and covered herself up, her face burning. She ran. He stood.

It was never spoken of ever again. Until now that is.

"Fred," Hermione said when they both were in the bathroom, still completely dressed, "do you remember that summer, really early in the morning?"'

"Wasn't it really late at night?"

"No, it was early in the morning."

"Actually, I specifically remember that is was really late at night."

"No, it was morning- Why does that matter?"

Fred chuckled. "It doesn't."

"Okay, so it was late at night, or early in the morning when I, well, ran into you. In the bathroom. And there you were. By yourself. With no clothes."

"Oh. _That_ summer."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

Hermione made Fred turn around when she undressed. Hermione couldn't bear to face Fred when he undressed, so she was turned away from him.

Fred turned the water on with a wave of his wand. Now, in case you didn't already know, you can shower by magic, but it's much less efficient in the cleaning aspect, as well as the amount of energy it took out of a person when they attempted. If you used magic, you'd only be cleaning yourself a twelfth of what you would by an actual shower.

Fred got in first. Hermione's eyes were closed, so Fred guided her into the shower. Eventually she opened her eyes and came to find out she was staring straight at Fred's quite nice chest.

"Well, this is interesting," Hermione said.

"Very," Fred replied.

"I don't quite remember the last time I took a shower with someone."

"Hmm. Me either."

And so, they washed themselves, feeling a little less dirty and a little more interested. They were taking a shower together and they weren't even remotely dating. What is up with that?

After their shower (they were still _in_ the shower, but the water was turned off), Fred got out first. He grabbed his towel and wrapped it around his waist. He offered Hermione his hand, but she didn't happen to see it. She was attempting at avoiding Fred for the time being. And that's when their trouble began this day.

Since they took a long hot shower (the longest shower Hermione had ever taken in her life! It was 16 minutes and 57 seconds long; her record was 16 minutes and 47 seconds.), the bathroom was quite steamy. And wet. Can't forget wet.

So the bathroom was steamy and wet. Just a little too wet, so when Hermione stepped out of the shower, she missed the rug by point seven centimeters and landed on wet tile. Her other foot got caught in the shower curtain somehow (how is it possible to do that!) and she began falling. And Fred was the only one there to catch the falling and quite naked Hermione.

There was a long drawn out scream that came from Hermione. Her life was flashing before her eyes. Her life had a lot of red.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" she was crying, she saw varying shades of red hair, red blood, red clothes, red shoes, red underclothes, and lastly, red faces. Namely, hers.

And Fred so deftly caught her. Well, not deftly. He dove to catch her, landing on his back (with only a towel wrapped loosely around his waist). Hermione (who was in her birthday suit) landed directly on top of Fred.

Why was it that they landed in these most compromising positions?

"Oh, dear Merlin Fred! I'm so sorry!" Hermione didn't have an idea that she was quite entirely naked on top of her ex-boyfriend's older brother who was much nicer. _Wait, is Fred much nicer than Ron?_ Hermione asked herself. _Yes, I believe he is._

"It's quite alright Hermione. But I suppose we should get up. And well, get dressed." _Though you do look really nice without any clothes on. At least, as far as I can tell,_ Fred told himself._ Bad thoughts Fred, bad thoughts,_ Fred told himself.

"We- Right. We should. Close your eyes please," Hermione asked, even though Fred had already seen her naked. Fred did so, just for Hermione's sake. And a little bit for his own.

Hermione grabbed her towel and wrapped it around her, quite tightly too. She didn't want it to fall off or anything. Even if Fred had already seen her naked.

They brushed their teeth and hair, Hermione dried her hair too. Then they got dressed. Using wands of course. A whole lot of fun if you ask me.

After the two adults were clean and dressed, they went into the living room. Still connected. And, may I remind you, for five more days.

They sat there, for, oh, seven minutes and twenty-three seconds until an owl arrived. It was Gipermelon, Arthur and Molly Weasley's owl.

Hermione ripped open the letter and started reading it out loud frantically.

_Dear Fred and Hermione (who happens to be on assignment with Fred and is living in his house until it is over and also happens to be Fred's girlfriend),_

_Fred, I am so very angry at you for not telling me that you and Hermione are dating! _**(This is, of course, your mother talking Fred. And I can't help but be a little upset you hadn't told anyone.) **_Arthur! Will you stop it! I'm writing to my son! _**Sorry dear.**

_Anyway dears, I insist you both to come to the Burrow for a Weasley shindig. To, of course, celebrate the wonderful new news. I expect you both at 4:30 sharp and in nice clothes. I expect you to tell everyone your own news, since only Harry and Ginny know, as well as your father and I, but I'd like to hear it from you myself instead of from Ginny. _

_I don't expect you to owl me, since I know you'll be coming. Don't worry about any food. I'll take care of it all._

_Love, _

_Your dear mother _**and father,**

_Molly _**and Arthur**

Well, Hermione and Fred had to go. It was mandatory. Mrs. Weasley expected them to be there. No, she told them to come, in a sentence using "I expect" and "I know you'll be coming." Those two things together were never questioned if they came from Molly Weasley.

"What the-! Bugger all!" Hermione said. "I'm never going to be able to lie to your parents!"

"Oh, sure you will."

"Fred, I'm not going to lie to your parents. They're like my second parents!"

"Do you need me to put you under the Imperious Curse?"

"Fred. You can't. It's illegal. And anyway, I can fend off the Imperious Curse. I did when I was 18, and I can do it now, too." Hermione sighed. "Why can't we just tell them that it's part of the assignment?"

"Because, well, because…"

"Because why, Fred?"

Fred couldn't think of a single thing. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Zero. Not one thing. He was having a good time, being attached to the lovely Hermione Granger, and he liked keeping that a secret. It was one of his many secrets.

Fred even had secrets that were so secretive, even he himself didn't know about his own secret. Yes. Fred was confusing himself, just as I am confusing myself trying to tell about how secretive Fred is. So, Fred liked being attached to Hermione. He liked the closeness. The friendly intimacy. Yes, Fred liked it.

Hermione didn't want Fred to come up with a reasonable answer. Sure, she was attached to a sensitive, red-headed, good-looking prankster who saw her naked. Sure she was a little unnerved by the whole attached-ness. But, she was going to have to deal with it. And, secretly, she liked the fact of being secretive. She really had never done that before. It gave a sense of risk (as if Hermione never took any risks; her best friends were excessive risk takers) and it was exhilarating. Simply exhilarating.

"Because I said so," Fred said.

Hermione took a moment to gather her thoughts before she gave away something. She sighed dramatically. "Fine. I'm only really working for you, so I have to listen to what you say."

Fred, must I say, was astounded. Hermione, not making a fight? Hermione, giving up? Never in his life did Fred think that he'd live to see the day.

"Really? You're going to lie to my parents for me?"

"Sure, why not," Hermione said nonchalantly.

"Okay then. Time for acting 101."

_I bet I'm going to regret this!_

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**AN: Yes! Another chapter! I'm on a roll. (Sort of.)**

**Thank you so much readers and reviewers! I love the feedback I receive from you all!**

**I have one thing to say before this chapter's quote:**

**I'm going to create a Playlist for this story. It'll be called _Fred and Hermione's Infinite Playlist_. Each chapter will have a song, so if there are any songs that you think would work, drop me a line. If you would like to be absolutely and wonderfully helpful, I'd love it if you gave me ideas for the Playlist for each chapter. It will make my job oh so much easier. I already have an idea for a song for chapter 6, but I'd love more. If you have any questions concerning this, PM (personal message) me or check my account profile. (It has a detailed description/explanation.) **

**And now, the quote.**

**We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.****  
-- _Oscar Wilde _****_(Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892)_**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: My eighth chapter. Amazing. I hope this chapter is as well received as my previous ones. And I'm sorry it took so long. Writer's block of sorts. **

**Here's the gist: Acting 101, partying with the Weasleys, getting sloshed. Yes. Fun fun. **

**Playlist people! I need assistance please! Or else, and I mean it. Even if you don't want to tell me your opinion of my story, please just give me ideas! I really want participation to see how people grasp the story! **

**Well, anyway, ENJOY!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron**

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_Chapter 8: I Miss my Mind the Most_

"Alright Hermione, the first rule when it comes to acting is this: Relax. You're most likely not as bad as you think. Lying has the same concept."

"But, I can't lie well."

"Oh, pish, of course you can."

"No, I can't."

"Well, I'll prove you wrong. Do you remember when it was your first year, and you went to the loo because my idiot of a brother said something to offend you? You were in there practically all day and then at dinner, that berk Quirrell told of the 'troll, troll in the dungeons!'?" When Fred was saying this part about the troll, he had the same quavering voice as the pitiful Quirrell. "Harry and Ron came to save you since you didn't know about the troll, and they defeated it all by themselves, the little firsties that you all were. McGonagall had a conniption when you said that it was your idea to go after the troll, thinking you could handle it, and that Harry and Ron only followed to help. Or something like that."

"Yes, I remember that. But what's your point?"

"You lied. To _McGonagall_. That's a feat in itself."

"So. I've lied to McGonagall many times."

"And the truth comes out."

"Like you never lied to McGonagall."

Fred sighed. "I never did. That was always George. That witch scared the bloody hell outta me."

"Oh."

"You need to keep that a secret Hermione. No one else knows that. Besides George, of course."

"I will."

Oh dear, Fred had a secret. He was frightened of Minerva McGonagall. That woman, as harmless as a rabid rabbit. How embarrassing that would be to learn that you were afraid of that old witch.

"Alright. Moving on. Rule number two on acting. You have to know what the story, tale, lie, etcetera is about. That's one of the easiest rules. Mostly because you already know the objective: fool my parents into thinking we really are dating."

"Yes. Relax and know the tale. Next?"

"Rule number three: Don't think about what will be asked later. Just think about what is going on and being asked _now_."

"Relax, know the tale, and don't anticipate the future. Okay. Got it."

"Rule number four: really listen. Just pay attention to who you're talking about and what."

"Relax, know the tale, don't anticipate the future and really listen."

"Rule number five: be ready for whatever happens next. It can be unpredictable what will happen next."

"Relax, know the tale, don't anticipate the future, really listen, and expect anything. How many more rules are there?"

"Only two more. Now, rule number six: now we already discussed this, but know the objective. Technically, it the first one. Rule I mean."

"Okay. Relax, know the tale, don't anticipate the future, really listen, expect anything, and know the objective. What's the last rule?"

"Trust yourself."

"What?"

"Trust yourself."

"Trust myself? I don't trust myself! I'll let it slip that I'm not really your girlfriend! That we're only attached at the wrist and you don't want your bloody pride diminished!"

"Woah there, Hermione. Who said anything about my pride?"

"Nobody," she answered meekly.

"Nobody, eh? This 'nobody' must be you then, correct?"

Hermione didn't answer.

"You can say that you think it's because of my goddamn bloody pride. Go ahead, tell me. There is no reason _not _to be honest with me. I'll understand." Fred didn't sound as though he was mad. Hermione didn't know what Fred sounded like. But, I do know. He was intrigued. But that's to be kept a secret between you and me. Wink wink.

"I think you think that it will diminish your pride. Males are quite proud. It's a proven fact." Hermione said it with conviction.

"Okay. Maybe it will. But, let me tell you a secret." Fred leaned in closer to Hermione. "I think it's an adventure being attached and having to act that we are a couple. It gives practice and it's incredibly fun."

"Oh."

Hermione looked into Fred eyes. There was no sign of deceit, no hint of dishonesty, not a blink of treachery. Fred was being completely honest. Besides the fact that they hid nothing, they were undeniably hazel. Not green; not green-blue; hazel. No one (especially JK Rowling) had ever embellished on the Weasley boys' eye colour (except for Ron; blue). It was high time for someone to embellish. And that was just what Hermione was about to do.

Fred's hazel eyes were wonderful. They were ever changing (which was also a reason JK Rowling never told of Fred Weasley's eyes), as hazel eyes have been told to do. But as of right now, they were undeniably hazel. A gorgeous green-brown; the area directly next to the pupil was a light brown, and the further away you got, a green the colour of grass blended in with the brown. Fred's eyes were the most unusual eyes Hermione had ever seen. And the most wonderful. Let's just say Hermione fell in love with Fred's eyes. (His eyes, eh?)

Hermione was staring straight into Fred's eyes for 2 minutes and 5 seconds. Fred liked the attention, but a little alarmed that something had happened. Usually people don't stare into another's eyes unless it was a contest.

"Hermione," Fred said softly. Hermione broke eye contact with, well, Fred's eyes.

"Hmm?"

"Are you alright?"

"Oh!" She flushed slightly. "Yes. I was just, um, looking at your eyes. They're incredibly intriguing. I've never quite seen eyes that exact colour. They're fantastic."

"Well, thank you." Who doesn't like having their eyes praised?

"Now, enough about my eyes as much as I'd like to continue," Fred joked. "I think it's time for acting." Dun dun dun.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

"Hermione. Time to go now. You've, by now, gotten the right pair of shoes?"

Fred was standing outside of the massive closet in Hermione's room. From what seemed like the depths of the closet (it was quite large, and Hermione was only a few feet in, since their situation), Hermione called out an affirmative.

The only reason Fred was just outside the door was because Hermione didn't want to get lost in the closet. And, because he felt claustrophobic in female closets. Yes. Only female closets, too.

She knew this too, and swore (well promised, she didn't like thinking of it as swearing) that she wouldn't tell anyone this secret of Fred's either.

Hermione came out of the closet and stood next to Fred with a pair of shoes in hand.

"Alright. Put them on and fast. We've only got ten minutes to be at the Burrow. Mum'll kill us if we're one second late."

"Alright." Hermione put her heels on. "Now I'm ready to go. Are we going to Apparate or Floo?"

"Apparate."

Fred looked down at Hermione. She looked gorgeous. Well, in Fred's opinion, she always looked gorgeous, but now she looked like the quintessence of gorgeous.

"Fred, I can't do this."

"Yes you can Hermione."

"No I can't. I don't trust myself!"

Fred put his arm around Hermione's. "If it would help, I trust you, Hermione."

Hermione smiled as she looked up into his quite good looking face. "Thanks Fred. That makes me feel a little bit better."

"Good. But you really should trust yourself. You did a fantastic job with the phantom-parents. I mean fantastic. You couldn't have done better."

"That also gives me a little more confidence."

"Very good. Now, are we ready to go?"

"Of course."

And so the two Apparated to the Burrow. You could hear the commotion in the kitchen.

It was warm and cozy in the quaint hall. Varying shades of orange and red were everywhere, from the chairs to the wall decorations. Pictures of all sorts of family and friends were in the hallway leading to the living room.

Four little kids were running around in the living room. As soon as they saw Fred, they ran (or toddled) to "Uncwle Fwed." They clung to his leg and screamed over and over "Horsie wide!" (Meaning, horsie ride, in case you weren't up on children-lisp talk.)

"No, kids, I can't. I'm going to go see grandmum. But first I want you to meet my girlfriend. Hermione."

"Aunt Hermione!" the oldest, Adelie (Fleur and Bill's oldest), said.

"Bonjour, Adelie," Hermione said.

"Bonjour."

"I didn't know you spoke French, Hermione."

Hermione smiled. "You learn something new everyday, now don't you?"

"I guess." He gave her a quick kiss on the lips. He had to make it believable, now didn't he? Even to his nieces and nephews, yes?

"Adelie, Andre, Armelle, and Cea, you continue playing. Maybe another time I'll give you a horsie ride. Okay?"

"Okay Uncle Fred," Adelie answered for all of them.

Fred squeezed Hermione's hand comfortingly. He bent towards her ear and whispered in words of encouragement. "Remember, you're amazing."

Hermione smiled shyly and nodded.

The "couple" walked into the kitchen where all the other Weasleys and the Potters were. And Ron's significant other.

Molly Weasley was just finishing up something on the stove and noticed the room grow still. She turned and there was her son and Hermione!

"Fred! Hermione! You're here!" She rushed them and enveloped them into a giant hug. It made it a little easy, bearing in mind the fact they were attached.

Molly let go. "Oh Hermione, you look beautiful!"

Hermione looked down at herself. Did she look beautiful? All she wore was a black flowing skirt with a rose-coloured wrap around sweater, with a white, shimmery shirt underneath and black pointy pumps. She had long since ditched her winter coat, since she was inside, and it was, well, winter.

"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley," Hermione said.

"Oh, Hermione, just call me Molly, or mum. You've known me too long to be calling me Mrs. Weasley," Mrs.-er- Molly said warmly. (Hermione couldn't call her mum, now could she?) "Now dears, can I get you anything?"

"Oh, no Mum, Hermione and I are fine."

"Oh alright dears." And Molly Weasley returned to cooking.

"Hello Fred and Hermione. It's lovely for you to join us," Arthur Weasley said, coming from the back of the kitchen.

"We're glad to be here, Mr. Weasley."

"Arthur please, Hermione." Hermione nodded.

Arthur Weasley went to help his wife. Everyone was ushered out of the kitchen and into the living room. The little dears (no, not any of Molly Weasley's children) were taken into the kitchen by Arthur and Molly. They needed some grandchildren-only time.

All fourteen adults took a seat in the living room. Obviously, everyone was sitting next to their significant other.

"So, Fred, how come you didn't tell anyone that you and Hermione were together, besides Harry and Ginny of course?" Bill asked.

Fred froze. "Er…"

"Well, Bill, it's mostly because it was slightly awkward. You know, how I used to date Ron and all. Now I'm dating his brother." Hermione was an absolute natural.

"Oh. Okay."

"And since Harry and Ginny told us their news, we thought it appropriate to tell them our news. It just happened to be convenient."

"Are you calling me convenient?" Ginny asked, slightly joking.

Hermione laughed. "Quite so."

"Oh, alright."

"So, how long 'ave you been dating?" Nadalyna asked in her rich Romanian accent. (Remember, she's Charlie's wife and the mother of his son Cea.)

"How about you guess?" Fred challenged.

"Two weeks," Alicia said.

"Two days," George said.

"Four months," Charlie said.

"Three months, two weeks, and one day," Percy said.

"Nine days," Penelope said.

"Five and a half months," Ron said glumly.

"A year!" Ron's girlfriend said happily.

Everyone looked at Margaret.

"Margaret, Hermione and I broke up only six months and a day ago," Ron told her.

"Oh, I just felt like saying a year. You know, that would be scandalous if they were dating when you two were still together. But I doubt she's like that, considering what you told me about her. She too nice to do that to her best friend."

Hermione's heart reached out to the girl. She shouldn't have judged Ron. Or Margaret. She seemed quite a nice girl, now that she actually met her. And her boobs weren't that big. They were like the same as hers! Hermione thought she was going to be a blonde bimbo with big boobs, but no. Sure, she was blonde, but it was more brunette-ish than blonde. And she didn't look like she caked on the make-up and let it all hang out. No, she reminded Hermione of this girl (who happened to be American as well) that her cousin (who was married to Cartel's Will Pugh's brother Ben) introduced her to.

"I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself to you Hermione. I'm Margaret Box. I graduated from the Salem School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in 1999. I'm the same age as Ginny."

"Oh, it's a pleasure meeting you. But for some reason, it feels like I've met you before."

"Really? Me too! Yet, I don't know why. Have you ever been to the States?"

"Plenty of times. My cousin lives in New York."

"Really? Who is your cousin?"

"Meaghan Pugh."

Margaret squealed. "Benjamin Pugh's wife! The brother to Will Pugh of Cartel! That's awesome! She and I are the best of friends! Well, actually, her younger sister and I. But anyway. Geeee!"

"Oh my god, you're Melissa's best friend! No wonder I felt as though I knew you! You were at Cartel's concert last year!"

"Yes! You're Meghan's awesome cousin! She just keeps going on about you!"

"I'm so glad to see you again."

"Wait, Margaret, Hermione, you know each other?" Even if Ron is a little slow, he's still oh-so-adorable.

"Yes, Ron," they answered together. And promptly began laughing at the fact they said the same thing, the same way.

"Well, that's weird. New girlfriend meets old girlfriend," Fred snickered. Hermione slapped him for being so inconsiderate.

"Well, aren't you going to tell us how long you've been dating? This little escapade off topic was quite wonderful, but I'd like to know who is closest," Penelope said. Dear Merlin, she's bossy!

"We've only been dating three months," Fred said, regaining his ability to lie. He certainly thought it wasn't going to be as bad.

"Then who was closest?" Penelope asked.

"Um, the person who said three months, two weeks and one day." (Not really, Alicia was the closest in reality to how long they started this charade.)

"That'd be me," Percy said proudly. He always does like to be right.

"Hermione! Why didn't you ever tell me?" Ginny cried.

"Well, Ginny, I didn't know how you'd take it. Me dating another of your brothers, only three months or so after I broke up with Ron." Hermione was on a roll. Nothing could stop her now.

"Oh, Hermione, I'm sure I would've gotten over it quite quickly."

"Well, now you all know. Hermione and I are dating."

"Zat is so adorable. You two, I mean. You both make a cute couple," Fleur said.

Everyone agreed. Even Ron. He was glad that Hermione found someone else, even if it was his idiot brother.

Ron got up from his seat and gave Hermione a hug. Well, kind of Hermione and Fred at the same time. "I'm glad you found someone Hermione. I really am. And I'm sorry I haven't been a better friend."

"It's okay Ron. I don't blame you. But that was one of the longest times we've avoided each other," Hermione joked.

The two best friends let go of each other. And they were best friends again, unlike the past six months of barely ever talking to each other.

Everyone started talking about random things; their kids, their jobs, their coworkers, their lives. Then, Molly Weasley had to open her big mouth.

"Dinner!"

The Weasley boys got up and ran, literally ran, into the kitchen. They must have been quite hungry. Or, they were looking forward to their mum's outstanding cooking.

The Weasley men sat next to their wives, girlfriends or fiancées. The kids sat at their own little table off to the side.

Before any one could eat (much to all of the male Weasleys' dismay), announcements were needed to be made.

Percy decided to take initiative and he and Penelope stood up.

"You all must have received the Daily Prophet, and there was an engagement notice. Penelope and I are engaged." Percy said this all very professionally. Penelope looked quite happy.

Congratulations were spread around and the next announcement was, well, announced.

"Well, Mum, Dad, Bill, Fleur, Charlie, Nadalyna, Percy, Penelope, George, Angelina, Fred, Hermione, Ron, Margaret, Adelie, Andre, Armelle, Cea, I just wanted to tell you all that Harry and I are going to be parents!" Ginny squealed. Once again, congratulations went around, but they were a little bit louder than the first time.

Now, everyone was ready for food, but there was another announcement.

Fred and Hermione stood up. "Well, you all know already, but we never really announced it, but Hermione and I are dating."

It must be told that Hermione and Fred got the loudest congratulations of all three announcements. But that might have been just because they were all quiet hungry. And so, food was passed around and eaten now.

The conversation was light and kind. The food was warm and tasty. It was a very good dinner indeed.

"So, Hermione, how did you and Fred get together?" Margaret asked. She was a very personable girl. And a little nosy, but that could be easily overlooked.

"Well, we just happened to be at Gringotts at the same time and well, we decided to go out to lunch. Having lunch led to talking, and here we are now!" Hermione told Margaret.

"Aww, that's so cute! That's how my ex-boyfriend and I met. The meet-each-other-and-go-to-lunch thing, I mean. Then he cheated on me, but that's another story."

"How did you and Ron meet? I mean, you're American, and I'm pretty sure Ron hasn't gone to America in the past year."

"Oh, I was in Britain, visiting my brother, Matt. He lives in London with his girlfriend Kiley. She a witch too, from Australia. Weird, I know; living in London instead of New York or Sydney. But it works best for them, halfway away from their birth homes. But anyway, I'm rambling; I ran, literally, into Ron on Diagon Alley. I was in a rush to pick up something for Matt and Kiley while he was at work. Then we got talking, and then went to lunch, like you and Fred. From then on, it's been all good."

"That's sweet," Hermione said. She truly meant it too. She was glad Ron was in a good relationship.

"Hermione just loves hearing sappy love stories like that."

Hermione turned to Fred. She kissed him lightly. "You know you like them too."

Ginny, who sat across the table from Fred and Hermione, sighed. "Harry, isn't that so adorable?"

Harry had just shoveled in some of his "Mum's" fabulous food, so all he could do is look up and mumble and "mmhhhmmmm."

"Maybe they really are dating," Ginny whispered.

Harry had finally swallowed his food. "Maybe. But, you're right; they make a good couple, even if they aren't really."

The rest of the night was wonderful. The youngest four Weasleys were sent to bed at eight (with a silencing charm so that they couldn't hear the adult Weasleys). The adult Weasleys were quite a jolly bunch.

And like all adult parties, there was alcohol. Lots of alcohol. A lot more alcohol than Hermione thought she could handle.

"Fred," she said after two (or was it seven?) alcoholic beverages, "er, I think we should go, um home."

"Nonsense," he replied.

"No, Fred. I'm serious. I feeling a bit tipsy and that I might do something I might regret."

"Well, if you feel that bad, I suppose we should go."

"Thank you Fred." Despite the fact of how many alcoholic beverages Hermione drank, she was quite able to form complete sentences.

"Alright, family," Fred said loudly. "I think that Hermione and I are going to head home."

"So soon, dears?" Molly Weasley asked.

"Yes, Mum. It's been a long day."

"Alright." Molly Weasley hugged Fred and Hermione and gave them big kisses. The rest of the Weasleys and the two Potters (one being entirely sober considering her condition) gave their hugs and kisses and showed them to the Floo. ("It's much too late to be Apparating, especially after drinking," Molly Weasley advised.)

As soon as Fred and Hermione were in Fred's flat, they lunged at each other. Literally lunged.

"Fred," Hermione said, "I'm an effing good actress."

"Yes, you are."

"I was acting."

"Yes you were."

"Now, I'm not."

"Yes you- no, you're not?"

"No, I'm not."

"That's just the alcohol talking."

"Maybe it is. Maybe it isn't."

"Well, I'm not going to let you do whatever you're thinking about doing."

"Are you sure about that?"

Fred gulped. "I'm sure. No, I'm positive."

"Well, I'd appreciate it if you carried me to your bed then." Drunk-Hermione was a little upset. But it was probably just the alcohol talking.

Fred gladly did. He hooked one arm beneath Hermione's legs and one beneath her upper-back. He walked slowly but surely to his room with a very comfortable Hermione in his arms.

Hermione felt this tingly feeling in her chest when Fred was carrying her to his –their- room. Her whole chest was constricting, but in a good way. Her breath was caught in her throat.

Fred gently placed Hermione on the bed. He changed her out of her clothes (by magic, of course) and did the same for himself.

"Fred, I think that-"

Fred turned around to face Hermione. "What Hermione?"

She was on her side, sleeping.

"Oh, Hermione. You could never stay awake after drinking." Fred leaned toward and placed a kiss on Hermione's forehead. His lips tingled at the touch.

_Sweet dreams, Hermione_.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**AN: Holy bugger. That took me quite a long time to write this. I'm glad I did though. School starts soon. Don't know how that'll turn out. **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. **

**And here is the quote: **

Of all the things I've lost, **I miss my mind the most**.  
-- _Mark Twain_

**R & R!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: I'm so sorry it has taken me nearly two months to update! I feel horrible! Since I feel so horrible, this is part one of this chapter. It's to fill in the gap for such a long time. This also means that swimming is ALMOST OVER! Sectionals is five days away. Then it officially ends eight days from now. God. I need to stop talking. Now, I'll let you get on to the story! **

**Oh dear. Chapter Nine. Frankly, to tell all you readers (and be completely honest with you all), I bullshitted the whole last chapter. I, however, think it was well-received despite that. Though, I personally thought it was NOT my best. But thank you to those who did.**

**But I'm going to stop blabbing, and let you get to the chappie. **

**R & R, readers! And, as always, enjoy!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron**

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_Chapter 9: Solving the Human Equation_

Hermione woke up at the crack of noon the next day. Her head was pounding.

_What the bloody hell happened? _Hermione thought to herself.

She flipped over on to her side, and there was, right next to her, a peacefully sleeping Fred Nevan Weasley. She was alarmed, but only for a second. She remembered that this was part of the arrangement (that happened to have gone a little wrong) for her job.

She smiled. She was sleeping next to the incredibly wonderful, smart, funny, kind, and quite handsome Fred Nevan Weasley.

Hermione's heart flip-flopped at thought of Fred being all of those things. Fred was perfect. But how can one person be so perfect? It's impossible.

_But not to those in love_, Hermione thought. She shook her head. _No no no no! _She mentally whacked her head (and nearly actually did so), trying to get the thought out of her head. _I can't fall in love! That wasn't part of the job description! And, it's all too cliché! _

She sighed dramatically. And then she stared at the peacefully sleeping Fred Weasley. Well, what else could she do?

A piece of his gorgeous red hair (which Hermione had just noticed (which was a very good sign) considering it was gorgeous red (red!) hair at this moment) fell into his closed eyes. His gentle breathing came in a steady pattern, bringing his chest up and down each time. Hermione was none-the-less enthralled. He was perfect, just perfect. And that was a sure sign of falling in love, now wasn't it?

During this whole time that Hermione was staring quite contently at the sleeping Fred, Fred was having some quite interesting dreams. (Which Hermione didn't know about and that he didn't _want_ her to know about. Yes. Definitely not.)

There was one particular PG-rated one (one of the very few) that he remembered when he woke up, which was only twenty-three minutes and thirty-seven seconds after Hermione had awoken (giving her plenty of time to stare wondrously at him).

So here goes it.

Fred's dream took place in a lovely and quite large home in the countryside, or something of that nature. There were children's toys everywhere you looked, and they were in some type of order, hinting that at least one of the parents of these children were orderly. There were pictures adorning the walls (which were moving, obviously) of a very cute family. The exact identities of these characters could not be directly told, but it was easy to infer that the family was genuinely happy. It was a happy family of a husband and wife with at least half a dozen children. Fred's subconscious edged him towards the photos to get a closer look, but as he was about to find out who the family consisted of, the scene changed.

Now Fred's subconscious took him into a bedroom wonderfully furnished with a king-sized bed. A man with startling red (red?) hair was sitting on the bed, shirtless, reading a newspaper. The scene swung to an adjoining bathroom where a beautiful woman with brown curly hair stood, holding a glass filled with a purple liquid.

The woman began walking out of the bathroom with the glass behind her back and called to the man. "Dearest, I have a surprise for you."

"Tell me, tell me! You know how I love surprises!" the man said with childish glee.

"Now, I know we weren't planning for this to happen, but I'm pregnant," the woman said, holding out the glass with purplish liquid and clearly ecstatic.

The man jumped out of bed and ran to the woman as she set the glass down and scooped her up. He swung her around.

"Mione! That's the best surprise ever!" the man said. He then kissed his wife lovingly.

The woman was breathless. "Fred, I'm so glad you're happy! I couldn't possibly be happier to have another of your babies!"

Fred kissed Mione again and brought her to the bed to proceed with some business (that wasn't shown in this dream because Fred awoke then and because it was one of the few PG-rated ones, mind you). But he did see that this "Fred" and "Mione" put a silencing and locking charm on before doing anything else.

And that was how Fred's dream went. He and Hermione (obviously) were happily married with baby number infinity on the way, and they had a mad fabulous sex life. Who couldn't be happier? No one, that is, of course, short of rapidly breeding mice.

Fred opened his eyes, quite happy with himself after this dream, and learned that he was staring straight at Hermione's lovely face.

"Hello," he said. "Enjoying what you're looking at?"

Hermione was lurched out of her daze. "Hrrmmm? What? Oh! Um, I was just, um, looking at that spider, yeah, spider on your head. Very intriguing." Hermione didn't even have the decency to blush.

"Oh! I want to see!" Fred was quite enraptured with spiders. Why else would he have turned Ron's teddy bear into a spider all those years ago (which was the reason for Ron's arachnophobia)? Just for fun? I think not!

Hermione's hand whipped out to "brush out" that spider in Fred's hair. "Too bad. He was just your ordinary spider anyway."

"Oh darn," Fred said. It was clear that he knew there was no spider. He knew Hermione had just been staring at him. He would have liked to have done the same to Hermione. "So…whatcha want for breakfast today?"

"You mean lunch?"

"Yeah, sure. That too."

"Um…ice cream."

"You eat ice cream for breakfast-lunch?"

"Of course. Why not? It has calcium."

"Good point. Ice cream it is then." Fred grabbed his wand from the nightstand and waved it. A house elf magically (hah, sorry, a pun; very bad pun) appeared.

"Yes, Sir Frederick?" The house elf had purple eyes and a purplish tinge to her skin. She was wearing a quite nice purple dress.

"Hello Tinky! Would you like to get my guest here and me the ice cream box?"

"Of course Sir Frederick. Tinky hasn't been doing anything all week. Tinky has been feeling bored bored bored. Tinky will get the ice box."

"Thank you Tinky." And Tinky disappeared.

Fred turned to Hermione and her mouth was wide open. "You – own – a – house – elf?!"

Uh-oh. Time to feel the wrath of Hermione Jane Granger.

"Yes."

"Do you pay her? Does she get holidays? Does she have a life? Does she get bonuses? Does she get tips? Does she get food, clothes, friends, money, a room, benefits? Does she have a contract?" Hermione rambled on. She was furious. Fred should know better.

"Of course she does. Do you think I'm inhumane? You should know that I pay Tinky 10 galleons a week. She has a husband named Winky and a son Po and two daughters Laa-Laa and Dipsy and a home and plenty of food and clothes (only purple for herself though. She'll only wear purple. She has a purple fetish.). And tips and holidays and bonuses and benefits. She has a very good contract, too."

"Good. I was thinking that I'd have to report you to S.P.E.W. if you didn't."

"But don't you own S.P.E.W. or whatever the technicality is?"

"Well, yes. But I'm only the founder and President. My Vice President does all the work. I only approve it."

"And who is that?"

"Luna Lovegood-Longbottom."

"I see." Fred held back a laugh.

"She is quite capable. She understands where I'm coming from about rights for all creatures."

"I bet she does." _For that horn-rimmed snufflepuff or whatever._

"And it's a horn-rimmed nifflerufflepuff." How did Hermione know what he was thinking?

Before Fred could let out a snort, partially from the irony and partially from the fact that she actually knew the correct terminology for that- _thing_, Tinky returned with the ice cream box.

There were numerous types of ice cream. Chocolate, vanilla, strawberry, orange, French vanilla, muddy sneakers, Bertie Bott's-every-bite-is-a-different-flavor, cookie dough, mint chocolate chip, caramel, oreo, and many many others. It was a Mary Poppins' ice box!

"Oh dear Merlin! There are too many choices! But I think I have to go with-"

"Muddy sneakers," Fred and Hermione said together.

"You like muddy sneakers too?"

"Well, I do have it in my ice box. There couldn't be anything better than chocolate and caramel…all that caffeine!"

"That is quite true."

And so, Fred and Hermione ate their muddy sneakers in bed.

They took a shower after eating their ice cream and neither of them were as embarrassed as that first time (which only happened to have been yesterday).

In fact, they were quite enjoying this experience. They both peeked here and there (the other thought that their companion was a quite good specimen; they were both quite fit), making sure the other didn't notice. But they both did, and they both didn't mind.

They got dressed and such; the rest of their day was quite uneventful. That is, until George, Alicia, Oliver, Katie, Lee, and Angelina dropped by.

It was just about four pm. Hermione had been devotedly been working on her article. Fred had been helping her along whenever need be. But mostly, it was just them stealing glances at one another.

The clock had just turned to 4:03 pm when a loud 'pop' came.

"Brother, where art thou?" George called.

"Oh bugger! It's George! That is the code for "time to go out!"" Fred whispered to Hermione.

"Well this will certainly make my article more interesting! 'Partying with Fred Weasley'!" Hermione whispered back.

"Fred, you here?"

"In the living room!" Fred called out.

Footsteps belonging to a redhead followed.

"Hello dear brother! Hello Hermione!" George said.

"Hello George," Hermione said.

"Well, Alicia's coming. She needed to finish getting ready. Katie, Oliver, Lee and Angelina should be dropping by momentarily. We're going to The Elf's Pixie."

"The Elf's Pixie?" Fred whined.

"Complain to Katie, not me."

As if on cue, Katie, Oliver Lee, and Angelina arrived.

"Hello Fred and…Hermione?" they chorused.

"Hello all," Hermione said, slightly shy.

"Hello," Angelina said first. "Why don't you go get ready for a night out? We'll give you ten minutes. That means you too Fred!"

Fred grinned, getting up, pulling his "girlfriend" with him.

They were in the confines of "their" bedroom when Hermione asked a very critical question.

"Fred, why don't you like The Elf's Pixie? It's a very nice club. At least, compared to the limited amount I've been to."

"Well, do you want the long version or the short version?"

"Is there a difference between them?"

"Well…no?" Fred was puzzled. Only George could read him that easily. "Do you want to hear it or not?" Fred sort of joked.

"Yes," Hermione laughed as she waved her wand to change out of her lounging clothes to a dressy blouse and nice pair of jeans.

"Alright. So, I was there about five months ago and I was ordering the specialty drink. The bartender guy was obviously not, well, straight, and he started hitting on me. Like he thought I was gay. Me…gay! Ridiculous! Now, that just scarred me for life. It was horrible and I don't even remember how it began. All I know is that he was hitting on me."

"Oh, poor Fred," Hermione said, sympathetically, but mostly with humor. "Now, get ready!"

Hermione had finished her ensemble. It was a pair of dark jeans paired with a turquoise, satin, cap-sleeved blouse. She had a black blazer quite appropriate for this upscale club. She had black Nine West pumps with a pointed toe. They made her two and a half inches taller. Her hair was parted on the side and completely straight. Her makeup was minimal: mascara, brown eyeliner, and a pink-tinted lip gloss. Simple diamond earring adorned her ears and a teardrop diamond on a silver chain ornamented her neckline, which Fred had just noticed, plummeted a fair amount.

Fred found a nice pair of khaki slacks and a dark slate blue button-down shirt. And a pair of nice black shoes too.

"Mione, you look amazing."

Hermione smiled. "Thank you, Fred. You look quite dashing yourself."

Hermione and Fred began some innocent blather while George, Alicia, Lee, Angelina, Oliver and Katie waited patiently (well, actually no one but the girls waited patiently).

"So…how long are they really going to take?" Oliver asked.

"I have no idea," George said.

"I have a question…why Hermione? Doesn't Fred usually go for the bleach blonde, big breasted, brilliantly boring, and brainless bimbos? And only because they're easy…for a lot of things."

Katie, Angelina and Alicia simultaneously glared at Lee. Well, he knew it was going to be bad as soon as he said that.

"Hermione is wonderful. She's smart and beautiful and quite funny," Alicia said.

"She's perfect Lee. Honestly. Especially for Fred. He needs someone with a firm head on her shoulders," Angelina said.

"And Lee, a person's appearance isn't the only factor in a relationship. Maybe that's your problem."

"Hey Katie, just because Oliver has finally proposed to you doesn't mean you can make fun of incapability of finding the right woman for me."

"I'm sorry Lee. I forgot you were so sensitive."

It just has to be told that Lee made the most pathetic face, causing all of his friends present in the room to burst out in laughter. And, coincidently, Hermione and Fred came out of their bedroom.

"Finally!" Oliver cried.

"Ollie, you don't need to be so impatient," Katie said as she gave him a kiss. "Don't you ever remember when it took us forever to get ready?"

Oliver blushed, remembering. "Yes Katie, I do."

"Well, come on. Let's go."

They Flooed to The Elf's Pixie.

They got there and there were lights everywhere. Yellow lights, blue lights, red, green, purple, pink, orange, every colour you could imagine. Music was blaring. And it was good music. Not that crap they play on American local radio stations. Fred and Hermione absolutely hated that music. This was good music. (But that can be relative.)

Immediately, Oliver dragged Katie to the dance floor. Lee immediately found someone on the dance floor. Angelina found a partner to dance with on the dance floor. George and Alicia went out on the dance floor. Reluctantly, Hermione went out onto the dance floor. With, of course, Fred pulling her along.

"Hermione, I thought you said you've been here before?"

"I have. Dancing just isn't my thing."

"What! Dancing isn't your thing? Dancing is everyone's thing, even if they do look like they're having seizure. It's a fact. Just look three feet to your left."

And there indeed was someone who looked like they were having a seizure. It was namely Lee. Maybe that was why he couldn't find a woman?

The rest of the night was filled with dancing and alcoholic beverages (but none for Alicia or Katie, for some odd reason).

Lucky for Fred and Hermione, non one seemed to notice their attachment to each other.

Hermione was having a great time with Fred. Alcohol, dancing, lights, music, and Fred are the easiest ways to get completely drunk. But for Hermione, it was mostly Fred. And a fair amount of alcohol.

Fred was having a great time with Hermione. Alcohol, dancing, lights, music, and Hermione are the easiest ways to get drunk. Even if you are completely resistant to getting drunk like Fred. However, Fred wasn't completely resistant to Hermione just yet. So, it was mostly Hermione and a fair amount of dancing.

Damn you alcohol and dancing!

Katie, Oliver, George, and Alicia had long-ago left: Alicia was feeling tired and Katie was too.

"I wonder why they left?" Fred asked out loud.

"You don't know?"

"No."

"Did either of them drink alcohol tonight?"

"No."

"Did they both go home because they were 'tired'?"

"No – wait, yes. You tried to trick me."

"No, I didn't try to trick you."

"Then why did they leave?"

"Either they're pregnant or they just wanted to have sex."

"What?"

"Yes. It was quite obvious. I could tell instantly."

"Then why didn't you tell me instantly?"

"Because…"

Fred didn't really listen because he had just notice that Lee was with someone who looked amazingly familiar.

"Hermione...who is that girl dancing with Lee?"

"Um…Oh my god! That's Pansy Parkinson!"

Hermione and Fred caught each other's eye; they had a job to do.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**AN: You'll get the quote in the second part. If you want to guess the quote, go right ahead!**

**Sincerely,**

**lovah of Ron**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: Chapter 10, Part 2 of Chapter 9! Woot! I hope you like it. And since no one told me what the quote was (or even guessed) I begrudgingly give it to you at the bottom, like always. **

**(By the way, this is a new version from the original chapter 10. I made a boo-boo. But thanks to **nibbles21**, that mistake has now been fixed!) **

**Enjoy! (Then R & R!)**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron

* * *

**

_Chapter 10: Solving the Human Equation: Part Two_

Pansy Parkinson looks like a bulldog. Anyone could tell. Sure, from the back, heterosexual guys liked to stare and fondle and other things, but once they saw that face…that was a different story.

Pansy Parkinson could very well be a lovely person on the outside, that is, if her face wasn't all squished together as it was. All that plastic surgery after getting hit with billions of hexes certainly made it that way.

It was obvious that either Lee was completely sloshed or he hadn't even seen his dance partner's face. You know what they say: drink until ugly looks hot. That might've been the case. Who knows. The only thing Hermione and Fred knew was they needed to get Lee out of the clutches of the ugly, daughter of former Death Eaters, witch.

So how did they plan to go about this?

"So, how do we plan to go about this?"

"I don't know. How _do_ we plan to go about this?"

"Hermione, you're supposed to be the smart one."

"Fred, you are supposed to be the devious one."

"Well, then I suppose with my deviousness and your intelligence, we'll figure it out."

"Or, we can just wing it."

"Yes. Let's wing it. Sounds good to me."

Hermione and Fred weaved through the gyrating and sweaty crowd. Eventually, they were barely three feet from Lee and Pansy. They were both facing the opposite direction, so Hermione and Fred were in the clear. Fred grabbed one of Lee's arms and Hermione grabbed the other. They yanked him back away from Pansy.

Success! Pansy seemed to have not noticed her missing dance partner.

"What! Who! Why! Who are you people?"

"Calm down Lee! It's me and Hermione!"

"Who's me? I'm me. No one else can be me. Who are you, you, you, imposter!"

"Fred, he completely nutters. Not to mention, probably due to too much alcohol. No wonder he was dancing with Pansy!"

"Eh, well, Lee's always had a little trouble with women and liquor, and his emotions. Poor bloke."

Hermione and Fred had, by then, dragged Lee out of The Elf's Pixie. They called the Knight Bus and rode back to Fred's flat with a thoroughly passed-out Lee Jordan.

They laid him out on the overstuffed puce coloured couch and covered him up.

Poor Lee. All alone and in a drunken stupor.

"You know Fred; my best Muggle friend from when I was younger has a cousin who's a witch. We can set Lee up with her. She's very attractive and smart. She's also very edgy. I think she'll be perfect for Lee."

"Well, I can't see how it'd hurt. But we need to wait a while before they meet each other."

"How long will we have to wait?"

"A day."

"Oh. Alright. I thought you were going to say a month."

"Lee? He bounces back fast."

"How long until that happens?"

"A day."

"Well, that's good. I think she's visiting now."

The conversation ended there. Hermione began acting motherly towards the passed out Lee, and Fred watched her in awe (a.k.a. lovingly). Hermione obviously hadn't noticed this. And it was a good thing too; it might have gone to her head. Not that she would have liked Fred looking at her adoringly.

Fred and Hermione soon fell asleep in Fred's "man chair." It might've been incredibly uncomfortable, but Fred and Hermione were quite comfortable sleeping next to each other.

OoOoOoO

They didn't wake up until nine o'clock, so they got about eight hours of sleep. Lee was sleeping like a baby on the couch. Hermione didn't think it would be possible to even wake him up, or so she thought quite early in the morning.

Now, it was Fred's turn to wake up first. Yesterday, that was Hermione's job.

It turns out that in his "manly chair", they had somehow managed to change positions. It was a quite large chair, but Hermione still ended up sitting in Fred's lap. Her head rested on his shoulder with his arm behind her back. She was warm and her gentle breathing was very comforting. (For Fred that is.) He was comfortable, she was comfortable, they were both very comfortable.

However, Fred made the slightest movement, awakening Hermione.

"Just five more minutes Mum," she mumbled, pushing out a hand that made contact with Fred's face.

"Fremione," is what Hermione's hand caused Fred to say. Translation: Hermione.

Hermione instantly woke up, and was so alarmed, that she nearly fell out of Fred's lap. But, thankfully, he caught her just in time.

"Thank you Fred."

"It was nothing. Plus, the fall wouldn't have been that bad. Honestly."

At this, Hermione got a strange, but adorable (or so Fred thought), look on her face. It was filled of awe and shock (which is practically the same thing) and the tiniest bit of affection and adoration.

"I don't know if I should slap you or kiss you for catching me."

"Well, I'd appreciate the latter more. I have a tendency to stay red for long periods of time."

With that, Hermione patted him with a little force on the check then kissed his "boo-boo."

"Does that make it better?"

Fred blushed slightly and made a puppy dog face, his bed-head hair falling in his face. "Yes."

Hermione smiled, quite taken with this man named Fred Weasley. Their faces inched towards each other. Hermione's hand was almost shaking as she brought it up to Fred's face to brush the hair away. Fred intercepted her hand and tightly grasped it in his hand. Heads were inching closer and closer, until there was barely a centimeter between their lips. The centimeter became half a centimeter, then barely point one centimeter. Then Lee had to wake up.

"Mummy! Mummy! Where are you?"

Hermione broke away, and quickly went to help Lee, with a disappointed Fred following. Luckily, neither noticed each others hitched breath and flushed faces.

"Lee, Lee, wake up; it's Hermione," Hermione said, shaking him gently.

"Ah!" Lee cried as he fully awakened.

"Lee, it's alright."

"I had this horrible dream I was at The Elf's Pixie…with Pansy Parkinson!" he cried with absolute abhorrence.

Fred cleared his throat to disguise his laughter. This earned an evil glare from Hermione.

"Well, Lee, it was only a dream," Hermione comforted him.

"Yeah, but it was so bloody real! I woke up just before she was about to, you know-" he paused and his voice dropped to a whisper, "grab me."

Hermione coughed and Fred sniggered. Hermione was so caught off guard that she even forgot to glare at Fred.

Hermione regained composure. "It was only a dream Lee. Forget about it."

"Okay, it was only a dream; only a dream." He looked out behind Hermione blankly. "Why am I in Fred's flat? And why is it morning?"

"Well…" Hermione began saying.

"You were drunk. We brought you back here so no one could take advantage of you," Fred continued for Hermione.

"Like Pansy Parkinson?" Lee said completely disturbed.

"Yes, like Pansy Parkinson."

"Well, I have to thank you both a lot."

"And now, I'd like to go home."

"But Lee, you've only just woke up," Hermione complained.

"I'm alright. Don't worry. Remember I share my flat with my cousin. He'll be there. He has nothing better to do."

"Alright," Hermione conceded.

"I'll go get your coat," Fred said, smiling ferociously. And then he left. But only a few feet, because he then remembered that he was connected to Hermione

Lee looked at Hermione and motioned her to come closer. He put his mouth near Hermione's ear. "Fred's happy. I can see that it's you that makes him happy. I have only one thing to tell you: don't break Fred's heart." He leaned back as Hermione followed Fred, completely overwhelmed by Lee Jordan's comment.

And then, Fred and Hermione returned, Hermione still looking astonished for a second, but then quickly morphing her face into a smile.

Lee stood up and put on his coat, then gave Fred a hug, then giving Hermione a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Remember what I said," was all Lee said to Hermione before he left. And at that moment, there was a 'pop', and Lee was gone.

_What the bloody hell just occurred?

* * *

_

**AN:**

**And, the chapter is done! Part Two has been concluded! I hope you all liked it!**

**I want the Queen of Duct Tape to know that you had the correct quote! **

To solve the human equation, we need to add love, subtract hate, multiply good, and divide between truth and error. **(Solving the Human Equation)**  
-- _Janet Coleman_


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Oh Lordy Lordy Lordy! I'm so sorry it has been taking me so long to update! Life is just beginning to get hectic. But…this is the eleventh chapter. You can count on some more chapters after this one, when though, is indefinitely undetermined. But please, keep on reading and looking to see if I've updated, because I don't even know when myself I'll get the chance to. **

**A little reminder: **_Fred and Hermione's Infinite Playlist_**! I need ideas please!!!! I have twenty to thirty ideas, but more than half I can honestly say, are from me. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ASSIST ME IN THIS!**

**Anyway, I'm done with my ranting. Quote at the bottom, like always. ENJOY!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron

* * *

**

_Chapter Eleven: While You're Busy Making Other Plans_

After Lee had Apparated to his apartment, Fred and Hermione "avoided" each other at all costs. Well, not quite "avoid" because there was no probable way that they could avoid each other, considering the fact they were connected for two more days (not including the rest of this Sunday).

Hermione frantically worked on her article. Every so often, Hermione failed to hold her complete attention on her article, focusing her attention more on Fred Weasley. She kept on thinking about that incident, in the "man" chair, in the living room, in the presence of a sleeping Lee. You know what I'm talking about…the **_almost_** **_real_** kiss.

_Damn it, Hermione! Get it into your head that he was just caught up in the moment! Just like you! _Hermione scolded herself. But deep down inside, she wished that it wasn't true, that Fred had really wanted to kiss her like she really wanted to kiss him. That was no act.

Fred worked madly on brainstorming new Weasleys' Wizarding Whizzes products. Every so often, Fred failed to hold his complete attention on his brainstorming, focusing his attention more on Hermione Granger. He kept on thinking about that incident, in his chair, in the living room, in the presence of a sleeping Lee. You know what I'm talking about…the **_almost_** **_real_** kiss.

_Bloody hell, Fred! Pull yourself together! She was just caught up in the moment! Just like you! _Fred reprimanded himself. But deep down inside, he wished that it wasn't true, that Hermione had really wanted to kiss him like he really wanted to kiss her. That was no joke.

It was mid-afternoon when the complete silence was interrupted.

It was all because of one damn owl. And that damn letter.

_Fred and Hermione_, it said.

_I'm terribly sorry I didn't owl you earlier! Mum had told me to, and frankly, I kept on forgetting because Harry and I were baby-room shopping! You have no idea the adorable things they have! I want it all! _

_But anyway, mum wants you to come to the Burrow for dinner. You need to come around five, five thirty. Some certain people (whom mum has been keeping mum) wanted to get together for some announcement or another. _

_I know you don't know this owl (his name is Buddha), because it's the owl from the MediWitch's office that Harry and I are waiting in right now. (We're going to find out if it's a boy or a girl!) So, be nice to him. He likes ginger snaps. A lot. And fingers. _

_See you soon!_

_Love, _

_Ginny and _**Harry**

"Well," Fred said, "I wonder who has gotten some news now. Can't be Ginny and Harry, or Percy and Penelope, or us, so it'll have to be George and Alicia, Charlie and Nadia, Bill and Fleur, or Ron."

Hermione looked at Fred. "Hmm…" was all she said before turning back to her article.

"Hermione, it's quarter of four; we're going to have to get ready. Now!" Fred said when Hermione wasn't _noticeably_ paying attention.

This obviously got her attention if she hadn't been paying attention (which she had been; on a very intriguing spot on Fred's wall).

"Alright," she said.

And they got ready.

They took their shower (together) and got dressed. (Fred wore a nice powder blue dress shirt, dark khakis, and brown dress shoes. Hermione wore a white top with a pale green sweater, paired with a brown skirt and matching pale green pumps with a strap around the ankle.)

Fred looked simply dashing (so Hermione thought) and Hermione looked scrumptious (so Fred thought). (However, neither knew what the other was thinking.)

"So…um...are you ready to go?" Fred asked.

Hermione looked up from adjusting her skirt. "Hmm? Oh, yes."

"Alright," said Fred. He grabbed Hermione's hand hesitantly and Apparated to the Burrow. He only hoped that his palms weren't sweaty and that she couldn't hear his heart pounding.

They arrived at the Burrow in 2.37 seconds flat.

Hermione was feeling dizzy. But that might have been a side-effect from the Apparation, or possibly from the fact Fred was still holding her hand (and her hand fit oh-so-nicely in his).

They had landed in the kitchen, and Molly was running around like a chicken with its head chopped off.

"Oh, hello dears! Go find a spot in the living room to sit! Dinner will be at quarter of six," Molly managed to say with her bustling around. (It was nearly five thirty.)

"Alright Mum," Fred said.

They couldn't get in there fast enough.

The living room was already filled with various Weasley and their partners. A very pregnant Fleur sat in an arm chair with Bill standing beside her; their children we're running in circles around their grandpa. Charlie and Nadalyna we're standing by the window, showing Cea the snow outside. George and Alicia were occupying another chair, Alicia in George's lap. Penelope sat in a straight-backed chair while Percy stood twiddling his thumbs next to her. On the sofa there was Ron and Margaret, sitting quite close, whispering and having a thumb war. Harry and Ginny shared the sofa with Margaret and Ron, talking quietly.

The Weasleys all perked up as Fred and Hermione came into the room.

"Hello!" they all chimed.

(Except for Margaret that is; she had to be different. "Howdy!" she said.)

Fred and Hermione just smiled and looked pretty (or handsome) before taking a seat between the two couples on the sofa. (Hermione sat nearer to Ginny and Harry, while Fred took a seat beside Ron (and of course Hermione).)

Hermione began conversing animatedly with Harry and Ginny. Fred resorted to having a thumb war with Margaret, who was thumb-warring with Ron simultaneously. (She won both.)

"Is everything all right with you and Fred?" Ginny asked randomly, a little concerned.

"All right? Um…just a minor disagreement, that's all," Hermione lied.

"Oh, I'm sorry I brought it up."

"That's alright."

And they continued talking, Harry interjecting every once in a while, but not following or understanding whatsoever.

At the other side of the sofa, in the midst of a hardcore thumb war match, Margaret asked out of the blue, "Fred, did you and Hermione have a lover's spat?"

"What?!" This broke his concentration, so he lost his thumb war.

"Are you and Hermione having a lover's spat?"

"Ummm…it's more of a minor disagreement," Fred lied.

Before Ron could ask Fred anything, and before Harry could ask Hermione anything, the dinner bell rang. The herd headed into the kitchen.

The men's mouths were watering, eagerly waiting to be sat down and tuck in.

Unfortunately, Molly didn't let anyone eat the food, let alone _touch_ the food, until after all the announcements were made.

Everyone was seated and ready to get started eating. And then, a couple stood up.

It was George and Alicia.

"Now, you obviously know that Mum got us all together for some big announcements…again. We'd just like to share with all of you a little special something," George said. (Getting married had really matured him. Though, he still was a renowned prankster.)

"Well, family, I'm proud to say that there will be yet another addition to the Weasley family," Alicia said, smiling from ear to ear.

"You're getting a dog!" Margaret cried. Alicia gave her a quizzical look. "Just kidding! And sorry for interrupting, I just get so excited with fabulous news!"

"Alicia and I are going to have a baby!" George said.

And cue the parade!

The Weasley clan congratulated and well-wished the happy soon-to-be parents. And they sat down.

Ron stood up. He cleared his throat. He grabbed Margaret's hand. She, too, stood up.

"Well, I must say that Ron and I haven't any news such as wonderful as getting engaged or having a baby," Margaret said. (This was the time where Molly and Arthur let go of the breath that was momentarily stuck in their throats, quite glad that Ron hadn't knocked up his girlfriend.) "But it's still pretty wonderful."

"Margaret and I are buying our own flat together…in the United States."

"Ronnie got promoted!" Margaret squealed.

Now, if Hermione hadn't been surprised about Ron and Margaret moving in together, she was surprised that they were moving to the U.S. because Ron got a promotion.

Molly's face had instantly lit up when she head that her baby boy had gotten promoted.

Ron grinned sheepishly. "I'm Head Auror for the new branch of the Auror Headquarters in New England."

Again, there were congratulations. It's not everyday that you get promoted to HEAD Auror after only about four years!

"Grammy," said Adelie, "can we eat now?"

"Oh, of course, dear. Everyone, tuck in! It's well deserved with all of this brilliant news!"

And so, the Weasleys ate dinner. But the after dinner was the crucial part of the entire day.

* * *

**AN: The end of this chapter…and a sorta cliffy. Sorry. You're going to have to wait until the next chappie. **

**Here's the magical quote:**

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.  
-- _John Lennon __(from Beautiful Boy - 1980)_


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: I'm so sorry it has been taking me so LONG to update! I feel dreadful. But I'm a-thinking that you'll forgive a-me. That is, after you read. It's very juicy with delectable happenings. **

**So…Enjoy, y'all!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron

* * *

**

_Chapter 12: It Must Be Lived Forwards_

After a wonderful dinner, the Weasley clan congregated into the living room.

The little children were occupied watching the snow fall outside. The adults, however, kept a PG conversation…for now.

The adults eventually sent the children off to bed. As soon as the kids had left, a quaint conversation concerning children came up.

"Oi, George, do you want a girl or a boy?" Charlie questioned.

"Oi, Charlie, I don't care," he answered much to his wife's delight.

"Honestly, you don't have a preference?" Bill questioned.

"No," he said. "You couldn't possibly have a preference. Take yourself as an example; you have two little girls and a little boy, plus another little girl on the way. You love them no matter what."

As the male Weasleys were speaking of this, Ginny was fidgeting the whole while.

"Ginny! Why are you fidgeting?" Hermione wondered.

"I have some great news, but Harry doesn't want me to tell anyone! It's driving me mad!"

"Is it good?"

"Is it good!? What do you mean 'Is it good'?' Of course it's good! It's great! I'm practically dying keeping this to myself!"

"You can tell me."

Ginny surveyed the room, finding Harry engrossed in George, Charlie and Bill's conversation of child-gender preferences (if that was the topic they were still speaking of).

"Oh fine. Harry's not paying attention."

And Ginny told Hermione.

During this time that some of the Weasley men (and a Potter) were talking about child-gender preferences and Hermione and Ginny were exchanging secrets, Fred was sitting directly (and quietly) next to Hermione, as well as Ron and Margaret.

And do you know what he was doing? He was sulking. He was not happy.

Let me explain. First of all, Hermione was barely talking to him. Second, Hermione wasn't talking to him. Third, he was "having a conversation" with Ron and Margaret, not listening whatsoever and occasionally contributing 'mmhhhmmmm' and 'sure'. And fourth, HERMIONE WASN'T TALKING TO HIM.

He was off in his own little world when he heard Ginny say something about 'great news' and 'Harry doesn't want me to tell anyone'. It was a miracle (and a sign that he should listen in) that he even heard that because Ginny and Hermione we're talking so quietly.

So, he tuned in to Ginny and Hermione's conversation.

"So you know how Harry and I went to the MediWitch's today? Well we found out that we're having a boy…and a girl!"

Hermione silently squealed (and Fred could hear it, somehow) in happiness. "Congratulations! I knew it!"

Fred, beaming, leaned back farther in his seat, smiling to himself. _Four nieces and nephews in one year! A new Weasley record!_

Ron had noticed Fred's face and jolted him out of his reverie.

"Oi, Fred, what do you look so happy about? It's looks kind of…"

"Kinky," Margaret finished for Ron.

"No, love. Interesting."

"No. It was most certainly kinky. Don't you remember that time…?"

"No, no, no. Don't mention that here or now, or ever," Ron said, blushing to the roots of his hair. Margaret just began playing with Ron's hair (which practically matched his face).

"Hmm…kinky," Fred said, falling back into his reverie, which immediately shifted gears into something that _really was_ kinky.

As Fred was having this kinky daydream of his, Hermione began firing questions at Ginny.

"I thought you weren't going to find out the sex of the babies until after they were born?"

"Well, I was too excited. Plus, Harry couldn't say no to that. Especially after I…_persuaded_ him." And Ginny burst into giggles. Hermione had a hard time keeping a straight face at this.

Hermione surveyed the room, landing last on Fred who looked very…interesting. (But to Margaret, it would've been slightly kinky; that, Hermione didn't know about though.)

Back to Ginny and Hermione's conversation.

"So, is something wrong with you and Fred?"

"Wrong? Well, kind of. You see, Lee was about to be sexually assaulted by Pansy at The Elf's Pixie, and Fred and I decided to rescue him. Then, we had to flag down the Knight Bus, taking Lee back to the flat. By then, Lee was positively unconscious. Fred and I ended up falling asleep in his chair. Then, we woke up…and we were a little disoriented and we almost did something…but then Lee woke up."

Hermione looked at Ginny. "Gin, are you even listening?"

"_Pansy Parkinson_ was about to _sexually assault _**Lee**?!"

"Ginny!"

"Sorry. You and Fred almost did something…that means you haven't already! Oh dear. I thought you were living together so you could…oh dear."

"What?! Oh! No. We haven't yet," Hermione managed to say and without blushing too too much; Ginny had almost caught her off guard. _Almost._

"Well, I must say, I'm a little happy that you haven't already…you know."

Hermione smiled shyly while Ginny was left beaming.

All of a sudden, Fred squeezed Hermione's hand. Quick as a whip, she turned to face him. He still looked…interesting. But this interesting brought another word to Hermione's mind to describe this look of his as…kinky.

And boy, did Hermione think it was kinky. _No Hermione! No!_

But Hermione couldn't think that of her fake boyfriend who was really growing on her. She averted her eyes for a moment, only finding them resting once again on Fred, who looked kinky (if looking kinky was ever possible anyway).

Trying to snap out of her trance on kinky-looking Fred, she attempted to really grasp his attention and really talk to him.

"Fred, Fred," she said.

No luck.

"Fred, love, wake up."

Still no response.

So, Hermione decided to alarm him slightly (but not in a scary kind of way).

Fred's eyes were practically glazed over. Hermione waved a hand in front of his face, but that made no difference. Therefore, she moved closer toward Fred so they were touching. She put his mouth to his ear.

"Frederick Nevan Weasley. You had better pay attention or you won't get your surprise," she said seductively in his ear. She started playing with his hair. "Fred, please. You're being very boring and the Weasleys are not boring people. So, wake up."

And he _still_ didn't wake up!

This made Hermione groan in frustration. Then she came up with a plan.

"Fred, you must know that it is nearly ten-thirty and we are still at your parents'. Do you really want to still be here? There are so many other things we could be doing…at home…in bed." (Inwardly, the whole while, Hermione grinned wickedly.)

And then she began kissing his ear. Then his jaw. And down his jaw line. And ever-so-close to his lips, but not quite. None of the Weasleys were paying attention to them, so it was fairly safe.

And then he spoke. "Hermione," he practically hissed, "are you trying to kill me?"

She laughed. "What makes you think that?"

"You just woke me up while I was in the middle of this bloody amazing dream."

"But you weren't sleeping."

"Yes, that's true. But it was bloody amazing."

"If it was so amazing, how about you tell me about it?"

"You don't want to know."

"Oh yes I do."

"Not here."

"And why not?"

"My parents are present as well as all my siblings and their spousal units."

"Oh, it's one of _those_ dreams." Hermione smirked devilishly.

_God, Hermione is really not herself. She's being…seductive. Not that I don't like it. But it's alarming_, Fred thought to himself. _Just like my dream._ His heart picked up speed.

"Well Mione, if you want to hear this dream of mine, we're going to have to go home," Fred said slyly.

_God, Fred is acting differently. He's being…non-prankster like. Not that I don't like that. But it's appealing,_ Hermione thought. _And it's pretty adorable. _Her heart did a little flutter.

"Well Fred, if you're going to reveal your dream, we need to take our exit."

"Yes, we will." He stood, holding Hermione's hand (that was attached to his). Then, he helped her up.

"Well everyone, Hermione and I are going to home. We'll see you all later."

"Oh, Hermione, Fred, use the Floo," Molly insisted.

"That's alright Molly. We haven't had anything to drink, so we're safe to Apparate," Hermione claimed.

Molly conceded, but not before she engulfed them both in a bear hug. The all the other Weasleys had to get up and wish them goodbye.

"Don't worry; we'll be back," Fred said after eight minutes and twenty-one seconds of Weasley goodbyes (an approximation I promise).

And then they Apparated with a '_pop_.'

They landed on the bed in "their" bedroom. They seemed to have not noticed their location.

"Well Fred, what was your dream?"

"You see, it was actually brought on by something Margaret said."

"Really?"

"Yes ma'am. I was off in my own little world when Ron asked me why I looked so happy. I was happy since I kind of overheard your conversation with Ginny," he said sheepishly.

"Interesting." Hermione sounded amused yet she didn't look it.

"Yes. Ron was about to say that I looked interesting in my musing, but before he could finish, Margaret said I looked kinky. Something about a time when Ron looked like that."

Hermione couldn't help it now. The smile that she'd been hiding came out. (It was kind of ironic that they, Hermione and Margaret, had thought the same thing.)

"And that got me thinking about something kinky myself."

"This is where your dream comes in I suppose?" Hermione said thoughtfully.

"Exactly."

Fred took both of Hermione's hands and placed them between his. They felt a little jolt, which set their blood boiling, and their hearts knocking at their ribs, and their heads swimming just a tad. But they thought nothing of it since they were so used to it by this time.

"Well, I obviously was in it. It _was_ my dream. And there was this girl who was trying to seduce me."

"Fred, I think this dream of yours deserves some beverages. Tinky?" Hermione called out. Winky popped up. "Hello Tinky, could you please bring Fred and me some icevodka? Thank you very much."

"Well, that sounds appetizing," Fred said as Tinky popped out.

"But anyway, this girl was trying to seduce me. She was, at one point, wearing a brown skirt with a white shirt and pale green sweater, and a pair of matching pale green heels that were thrown in a corner."

Hermione was smiling faintly, looking at her attire which resembled the girl in Fred's dream's clothes. Then Tinky came back with the icevodka and two glasses.

"Thank you Tinky," Hermione said.

"Yes, Ms. Granger," Tinky said before she left.

Hermione poured the icevodka into the two glasses. (It is quite normal to drink icevodka straight, especially if you want to get drunk fast. And that was almost what Hermione and Fred were trying to do.)

Hermione took a drink then made it levitate at arm's reach. She took off her pale green sweater and threw her matching pale green heels in the corner.

Fred, noticing this, realized his daydream fantasy thing might just come true.

"So, continue on with this so-called fantasy of yours," Hermione said, gently touching his arm. Fred thought that it was possible, just maybe, that she was seducing him.

"Well, she was seducing me, _ahem_, and well, she, uh, was, er, caressing my arm," he said, having slight trouble concentrating. He drank about half of his straight-up icevodka. God, he was not used to this type of seduction…especially from Hermione. And he was usually the one seducing women (and most the time unknowingly).

Hermione stopped touching Fred, slightly alarmed that exactly what she was doing, was apart of Fred's dream. Then, she too, took a sip of her drink.

Fred began his story once again.

"So this…_seducer_ of mine began – removing her stockings?" Fred was interrupted once again as Hermione began removing her stockings.

She looked into Fred's face and smiled. "What was your seducer doing?" she asked, unaware that Fred had just told her.

"Removing her stockings," Fred said, his mind exploding. He had to get a drink. And **_fast_**. He finished off his first icevodka, filling his glass up again and downing at least half of it.

"She was removing her stockings, then twisting her hair as she drank whatever it was she was drinking." He swallowed. "It was most likely icevodka. Yeah, icevodka."

Fred finished his second glass of icevodka, just as Hermione finished her first. At the same instant, they reached for the bottle.

_Sizzle sizzle pop_ went their skin as they made contact.

Fred smiled. Hermione smiled. Fred poured. Hermione drank. Fred drank. He was having heart palpitations. She was having lung spasms. They were complete messes.

Fred told Hermione the rest of his very very very very very (okay, only three very-s) dirty dream. After, of course, six or seven, or twelve, icevodkas. And after Hermione had eight or nine, or fifteen. (Don't worry, they're not lethal alcohol dosages.)

Hermione was only left wearing her skirt, panties, and bra. Fred was left only wearing his socks and boxers. (It was a miracle that he was still wearing anything, he was so bloody nervous and, well, sweaty.)

"Fred, I must say, that was a very very very _interesting _experience, hearing this dream of yours." Gently, she put her hand on his.

"You have no idea how...awkward that was for me to tell you," Fred muttered.

"What? It was awkward?"

"Well, yeah. You're…a girl."

_Oh, please don't let this be fourth year all over again!_ Hermione thought to herself. "Glad to see that you noticed."

Hermione just almost seemed miffed. But she kind of was, seeing she was about to get dressed again.

"I'm sorry Hermione. That was uncalled for. Yes, you are a girl, but you are a girl that listens very well, and well, as a girl I told you about my boy-ish fantasy that involves a girl, and hence the reasoning for it being awkward."

Fred leaned in toward his attached fake girlfriend's back. "I'm sorry if it was awkward for you and…calling you a girl."

Hermione turned around looked at Fred. "It's okay. Because, well, I am a girl."

And she kissed him.

And he kissed her back.

And it wasn't a "peck" kind of kiss.

Hermione looooooved it. Fred looooooved it. They absolutely positively completely loved it.

They might have loved it just a little too much. Because, where this kiss led them would be a whole different kind of territory for the two.

_Oh, Merlin, I'm in deep. _

_Oh, Merlin, I'm drowning.

* * *

_

**AN: End of the TWELFTH chapter. A whole 2428 words! How amazing is that? I was exactly planning on ending it like this, but, oh well. **

**Please, R & R and tell me what you think. I kind of let it up to you, right here, at the end, to decide what they're in deep for. **

**And the quote, like always:**

Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.  
-- _Soren Aabye Kierkegaard_


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Wow! Chapter 13. Another vital part to L:AID. Is it beginning to all come together? **

**I hope you all enjoy it!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron

* * *

**

_Chapter 13: Gravitation Cannot Be Held Responsible_

It was the morning after. But the morning after what?

Well, the morning after such an amazing milestone of sorts.

Fred woke up first. He had had a very restful sleep. Especially after…well…

It was 7:30 AM. Fred was staring at his ceiling. The person beside him pulled the covers around herself. Fred looked over at his bedmate.

Hermione.

Hermione looked so peaceful, so beautiful. Her hair was a halo around her face. Her bare arms wrapped around her chest. She moved her head ever so slightly that a few hundred strands of hair moved to cover part (or rather half) of her face.

Fred, as gently as he could without waking her, reached out and brushed it away. Hermione mumbled an incoherent thought as Fred touched her. Hermione nestled closer to Fred.

"You're beautiful Hermione," Fred whispered.

"Mmm, Fred," Hermione uttered. She was, fortunately, still unconscious.

"You're extremely beautiful, and a lovely person, and funny, and bubbly, and amazing and bloody brilliant. You're everything a person could possibly be. You're perfect, Hermione."

In his soliloquy, Hermione smiled almost as if she heard Fred say all those wonderful things.

"Hermione, I think I'm in love with you," Fred said. Fred leaned over Hermione and kissed her forehead lightly. Fred brought his head directly above hers. Hermione's eyes fluttered.

Hermione had opened her eyes to see a gorgeous red-head. She smiled as she noticed that stubborn piece of hair that fell into his eyes. She lifted her right arm to brush it away.

Fred shivered as Hermione's fingers pushed his hair back.

"Hello love."

"Hello love," Hermione copied.

"Well, it's morning."

"Yes it is." Hermione smiled at the simplicity of this conversation.

"And it's Tuesday."

"Yes it is." Then it dawned on Hermione.

She sat straight up, colliding with Fred's head.

"Ow!" they both cried, bringing their hands up to their heads.

"I'm sorry Fred, but do you know what Tuesday means?"

"That there are only three more days until Friday?" he asked sweetly.

"Well, yes, but that isn't what I was thinking about. The assignment is over." Hermione lifted her right arm. Fred's arm did not follow. "We aren't attached anymore," she said, sounding somber.

"The assignment's over?"

"Yes it is." Hermione smiled as sincerely as she could.

"Well, it was the best assignment I've ever been involved in," Fred said, trying to make the mood a little brighter.

"I completely agree with you." Hermione folded her arms across her chest, hugging herself.

There was an awkward pause. Well, you would think so too if you just slept with your ex-boyfriend's older brother who you happen to be convinced you're in love with, and not simply infatuated with his lovely ginger-coloured hair (though that might be an important deciding factor).

"So, what was your favourite part?"

_Spending it with you_, Fred thought. "I'd have to say the Weasley festivities. I love my big family."

"Me too." _I wish I could be apart of it officially. Margaret is practically apart of them now, but I can't blame her for that. She's a doll. _

"Well, Fred, since the assignment is over, I should get going." Hermione avoided Fred's eyes.

Hermione reached for her wand on the nightstand, but Fred's hand took hold of her hand before she could get to it. Hermione turned to him.

"Hermione, I did absolutely have a wonderful time with you on this assignment. I had the most fun I've ever had, and I've had a lot of fun in my days. I've also had some wonderful conversations with you; I trust you. You're very kind and generous and observant and caring and…and…" Fred sighed. "What I'm trying to say, is that, I think I love you."

Hermione didn't gasp. She didn't look away. She didn't laugh, either.

"Well, this is the point where you are supposed to say something in regards to what I just confessed," Fred said, entirely and completely scared out of his mind.

"I – I – think I love you too."

Fred jumped up, stark naked, screaming jubilantly.

He blushed deep red. "I think I feel like an idiot," he said as he quickly grabbed a blanket to cover up.

"I think you _look_ like an adorable idiot," Hermione admitted, also blushing.

And then, Hermione became excessively bold: she kissed Fred.

Now, it must be told that it wasn't one of those "let's kiss for the hell of it" kisses, or a "we've just had a nice shag, let's do it again" kiss. But it was a complete "I very well might be completely and madly in love with you though I've only really known you for about a week" kiss.

Eventually, this "I very well might be completely and madly in love with you though I've only really known you for about a week" kiss transitioned into a full-frontal snogging session in bed, completely naked but for a sheet or two wrapped between them.

Some time after that, they stopped, but only because they were somewhat out of breath.

"Fred, I think we should tell the truth."

"About what?"

"About us not really dating. Well, at least not like we said we were then, because I think we most certainly will now. We lied about dating to your whole family."

"Oh, right. If you think it's best, of course. But I'd rather not tell anyone else but the family."

Hermione kissed Fred. "You're wonderful."

"Whatever you say."

Hermione lightly slapped him. "You're just saying that because you want to have your way with me, now, aren't you?"

"Maybe," he admitted sheepishly.

Hermione smirked.

"You read me like an open book."

"Well, I am very good at reading books."

And so, Mr. Weasley had his way with Ms. Granger.

OoOoOoO

After having getting their oats, Hermione and Fred talked in bed for some hours. Mostly, it was about how they were going to keep their current situation on the down low.

Both Fred and Hermione agreed that they weren't going to tell anyone but the Weasleys and Hermione's parents. Hermione wasn't going to make any mention of their intimacy in the article for _Mystic Witch_, the reason for their current status as a couple. Finding out that Fred was no longer a bachelor (at least, as of this instant) would be a shock to the entire wizarding nation. Not to mention, quite scandalous. Fred wasn't going to publicise either.

They had it all settled. And perfectly.

OoOoOoO

At one thirty, Hermione left, but not before Fred made them a wonderful lunch.

Hermione left and headed to the _Mystical_ _Witch_ building, quite happy, and Amalia noticed this.

Hermione, being very un-Hermione-like, was wearing a _red_ satin fitted blouse and grey slacks. Amalia immediately knew something was up because Hermione hates wearing red tops. (Dresses, however, are another story.) Also, her hair was straight (which Amalia knew makes Hermione feel oh-so-plain) and she wore practically no make-up.

Amalia, as she noticed Hermione's apparent jubilation, decided to begin an inquisition of sorts, in Hermione's office.

Hermione walked into her office at twenty-seven of two, not at all alarmed at seeing Amalia Anders sitting at her desk.

"Well, hello Hermione, pleasant surprise seeing you here," Amalia said.

Normally, Hermione would say something demeaning to her boss (who is, by the way, a complete nincompoop) at finding her sitting at her desk. But, this was not "normally."

"Oh, hello Amalia. How are you?"

"Oh, I'm well. And you? How was your assignment with Fred Weasley? Wonderful?"

"I'm good, thanks. And yes, the assignment was wonderful. Very…insightful. It's going to be an amazing article."

"Well, that's good. _Mystical Witch_ will most certainly profit from the sales then. That's wonderful."

Hermione noted that Amalia was trying just a little too hard to be nice. And she also realised that she, being Hermione, was being too un-Hermione like.

"But what I want to know, Amalia, is why you are in _my_ office?"

Amalia was alarmed. She didn't realise that Hermione could catch on _that_ quick. "Oh, I just wanted to know how it went. You know, boss/employee talks. They're very important to the well-being of the magazine corporation."

"Oh, of course," Hermione said, trying, with much difficulty, to not smile. "Well, you better get back to your boss-like duties."

Amalia almost glared at Hermione and clomped out in her five inch bright yellow stilettos, slamming the door in the process.

Then, and only then, did Hermione laugh out loud at Amalia's absurdity.

And then, Fred Apparated into Hermione's office.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed, but nicely of course.

"I couldn't wait to see you."

"I just left not even fifteen minutes ago."

"So?" And then Fred came up and kissed her.

"Fred," Hermione whispered.

"Hermione," Fred whispered.

And then Hermione heard an annoying and grating voice ring throughout the _Mystical Witch_ floor.

"Oh no, it's Bert the fat!"

"Well, we just have to evade him, now don't we?"

"I suppose."

_This should be very interesting.

* * *

_

**AN: The end of another chapter. Huzzah! I hope you like it…especially with the cliff hanger. Don't worry, more FreMione goodness soon.**

**And the quote:**

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.  
-- _Albert Einstein_


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: Chapter 14. Wowzer! It's amazing. **

**Make sure you R & R. It's the best for a writer who's having difficulty with coming up with more to write. It makes her (or him) feel better. So, R & R. But not until after you enjoy!**

**Okay, enough of my ranting, here's Chapter 14. **

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron

* * *

**

_Chapter 14: It Goes On_

Hermione ran to the office door just as Bert the fat was about to knock.

"Hello Bert!" she said a little too excitedly.

"Hello Hermione," he said, his left eyebrow rising in question. "How was your assignment?"

"Oh, great. Incredible information and dishy details. The absolute epitome of every _Mystical Witch_ issue," Hermione said, running all her words together. It was a miracle Bert the fat even understood a word of it.

"Very nice, very nice," he said as he strolled over to Hermione desk and sat in her chair. He put his feet up on her desk.

"Will this issue sell out completely?"

"Absolutely. Fr – Mr. Weasley is a very deep and mysterious character. His fans will love to learn more about him. And one lucky fan will be able to spend a day with him if he or she writes the winning essay about why the want to meet _thee_ Fred Weasley."

"Yes, that will bring in a lot of buyers, especially if it's on the cover. And on billboards."

"Oh yes," Hermione said as Bert closed his eyes and put his hands behind his head.

Hermione looked up at the ceiling, thanking whomever that Bert hadn't seen Fred. But that just made her squeal at the sight on the ceiling.

Fred Nevan Weasley.

He waved happily down to her, grinning from ear to ear.

Hermione mouthed to him, "What the bloody hell are you doing Fred!"

"Hanging out!" he mouthed back.

Hermione tried to make herself look mad, but it only made her smile. Fred just made her smile, "hanging out" like he was.

"Ummm…Bert," Hermione said, "Can you leave, I have to type up my article and everything so I can put it through editing."

Bert opened his eyes, slightly startled. He had managed to fall asleep in those two minutes. "Oh sure. Then I want it in editing in seven days. Then, it will be put in the magazine and go to print. Then a week later, the last week of January, they'll be put out."

Bert the fat got up and waddled across the room and out the door. But right outside the door, he stopped and turned around.

"You must know now that you look happy. That prankster must've given you a heart."

Hermione's mouth dropped in utter shock. Unfortunately, Bert the fat didn't see that.

Bert closed the door and left Hermione standing there with Fred laughing on the ceiling above her.

Hermione looked up at Fred indignantly.

"That isn't necessary!" Hermione said.

"Oh, but it is," Fred said as he came down from the ceiling.

"Sure. How was the ceiling?"

"Very…ceiling-ish. You know, high. I felt somewhat like God if I knew what God felt like. You know, just looking down at my people, who happen to be completely unaware of being watched. It was almost comical. I would love to be God."

"Well, I wouldn't," Hermione said as she jumped her boyfriend.

"Well, as God, I could get used to this," Fred said excitedly.

"Don't get used to it because I'm not going to make it a habit to have sex in my office every time you plan on visiting," Hermione said as her shirt came off.

"But, Mione," Fred whined.

"Stop whining or I'll silence you, and not the room."

And so, they made a day of it in Hermione's office.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

The work day was done and Hermione was at her own flat. Alone. No Fred. Yet.

She was enjoying the shower she had all to herself (though this morning's escapades in the shower with Fred were enjoyable). She was singing…in the shower. Then, she heard a noise.

"Who's there?" she called out.

No answer.

"Fred, if you're going to be an arse, I'll call your mum and tell her you've been bad."

Again, no answer.

"Fred, this isn't funny," Hermione said as she got out of the shower and toweled herself.

"Fred, you know I don't like this game of yours."

Hermione walked down her hallway cautiously, just in case. She slowly opened her bedroom door and saw…

Fred! On her bed!

"Fred Weasley! Why didn't you answer me! I was extremely frightened, you prat. I did have a burglar in my flat once, while I was taking a shower."

Fred turned to Hermione with a goofy blank face and stuck up his index finger. "Fred isn't here right now, Ms. Granger," he said, bending his finger.

Hermione slapped him. "You're not allowed to watch any more Muggle scary movies. They mess with your mind," she said, realising he was "reenacting" from _Scream 3_ and _The Shining_.

"Hah hah hah. He he he."

He was now being Jason's mother from _Friday the 13th_.

"Stop right now Fred."

"Okay!" he said before he tackled his toweled girlfriend onto her bed.

He was tickling her, like that time when Harry and Ginny caught them, and when they first started "going out."

Hermione was laughing hysterically and Fred was smiling from ear to ear. And then, that bloody bird had to interrupt their fun.

_Thunk._

They heard it. It originated from the bedroom window.

Fred got up. "I'll get it."

And get it he did. It was a Gipermelon, Molly and Arthur's owl. And with Gipermelon, there was a letter. Addressed to _Mr. Fred Weasley and Ms. Hermione Granger_.

_Dear Fred and Hermione,_ it said.

_Dears, you must come to dinner tonight. Charlie, Nadalyna and Ceallach will be retuning to Romania tomorrow, so we have to wish them a safe farewell._

_Your father and I will expect you around seven. Dinner will be around quarter of eight, so make sure you bring__hor__dourves_. _Can't wait to see you both again!_

_Love, _

_Mum and _**Dad**

_Molly and_** Arthur**

"Merlin, my mum is crazy wonderful," Fred said.

"That she is. She just loves you all too much."

"Not to mention you!"

"Come on Fred, go home and get ready, it's nearly six and you still need to make the hor'dourves. I'll finish getting ready here, at my flat to avoid being seduced by you. And I'll be preparing myself to tell your parents the truth."

"What!? We're doing that _today_!?"

"Yes. It's as good a time as any."

"Well, I, uh, er, wasn't thinking we'd do that today."

"Oh, but we are. Just to get it over with," Hermione said as she walked in to her own walk-in closet. "Which do you think I should wear: my black dress or my red one?"

"Red," Fred answered automatically.

"Alright. Go back to your flat and get ready. I'll be there in half an hour."

Hermione, dressed in her re dress, gave Fred a kiss before leaving him alone in her room.

"Oh dear," Fred said before Apparating back to his flat.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Hermione arrived at Fred's flat at exactly 6:30 pm. He was busy in his kitchen making hor'dourves.

Hermione quietly walked up behind Fred, who was busy cooking something amazing.

"Whatcha doing?" Hermione asked, wrapping her arms around Fred's waist.

"Oh, hello love. I'm making crab cakes and artichoke dip."

"Ooh, sounds tasty."

"It should be. And Dad'll be excited; he loves my crab cakes even more than Mum's."

"That is a feat, isn't it?" Hermione asked, kissing Fred's cheek.

"It certainly is."

Hermione watched him finish up the hor'dourves at his kitchen table, thinking about nothing, thinking about everything.

"Alright, I'm done," Fred said.

And then they left for the Burrow.

Now, they were both very nervous; they were going to tell the Weasley family that they lied, and then tell them that they were really a couple now.

So, Fred and Hermione met with all the Weasleys, bearing gifts (which everyone thought were delicious). They realised, however, this large party of happy Weasleys would soon be very disappointed.

Molly rang the dinner bell at exactly 7:45 pm. The Weasley clan rushed to the food.

"Now, all that's needed to be said for this dinner is that we wish you, Charlie, Nadia, and Cea a safe journey back to Romania," Arthur said.

"So, tuck in!" Molly said.

"Wait!" Fred and Hermione said, getting up.

Every Weasley's head snapped in the general direction of Fred and Hermione.

"Hermione, Fred, we're hungry, why are you standing up?" Ron whined. Margaret patted his arm affectionately and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"It's alright, Ron, it's only a few minutes."

Ron sighed. "Go ahead."

"Well, um, we uh, we uh –" Fred tried to say.

"We lied to you all," Hermione said, very ashamed.

The only response was silence. That is, until Ginny spoke up.

"What is it that you "_lied_" about?" she asked, laughing a little. I mean, it _was_ Hermione.

"FredandIweren'treallydatinguntilyesterday," Hermione mumbled.

"Hmm…what was that Hermione?" Molly asked.

Fred answered for Hermione. "You see Mum, I – we – lied to you about dating. We weren't really dating a week ago. We haven't been dating for nearly three and a half months. We _technically_ only started dating yesterday."

Everyone, _everyone_, started laughing.

"Good one Fred! How'd you manage to get Hermione in on this joke?" Bill asked.

"No Bill, we're serious," Hermione said indignantly.

"You _can't_ be serious," Harry said.

"We are," Fred said.

"Hermione would've never gotten caught in a joke like this," George said thoughtfully.

"But…this is over my head," Charlie said.

"But vhy vould you lie?" Fleur asked.

"So I wouldn't be embarrassed," Fred mumbled.

"Hmm? Didn't hear that Fred," Ginny said.

"So I wouldn't be embarrassed!" Fred cried.

"Fred, embarrassed?" was what started being murmured.

"Fred, Hermione, would you care to explain the whole predicament to us, considering we're all lost?" Molly asked.

"This might take a while," Hermione said.

"We've got all night," Arthur said.

"No we don't," Percy added.

"Percy! Shut up!" came the collective reply.

_Oh dear_, Hermione and Fred thought.

* * *

**AN: The end of the chapter! Sorry it took me longer to write than I expected! But now it's here! Yay!**

**The fabulous quote:**

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on.  
-- _Robert Frost_

**Oh, and at the very beginning of the chapter, Bert says "Very nice. Very nice." Think _Borat_, y'all. **


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: Chapter 15. Hell. No. Time. For. More. Words. Read. **

**Enjoy.**

**R & R.**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron

* * *

**

_Chapter 15: Only Two Things are Infinite_

It was an amazingly quiet dinner, especially considering that no one wanted to have their dinner ruined by some tale like going up the Amazon on a rubber duck. (Yes, no one _really_ wants to have their dinner interrupted by a story like that. It would be so scarily funny that you'd choke from laughter.)

No one spoke unless it was to ask to pass the potatoes (or whatever they had been eating) or to tell one of the kids to "eat up" in order to get dessert.

Dessert was also a morbid affair. It was Molly's famous chocolate obsession; an intensely rich, dark Belgian chocolate flourless cake, glazed with chocolate ganache and served in a pool of raspberry sauce. It was simply to die for. And it was so silent, it sounded like someone _had_ died.

Later, after dinner and dessert and putting the children to sleep, the Weasley family (and the Potters) congregated once more in the family room.

Everyone was looking curiously at Fred and Hermione, just waiting for them to tell their story.

Hermione and Fred were standing together, holding each other's hands tightly.

"Alright family. This may be long, this may be confusing, but bear with us."

"Fred and I think we should start from the beginning. January eleventh, 2001. This was the day I was given an assignment by my boss, Amalia Anders. You see, I was working very hard, non-stop for quite some time. Since July 2000."

Ron sighed, quite aware of what July 2000 entailed (Hermione had broken up with him).

"And this assignment," Hermione continued, "was to interview Fred Weasley, staying with him for a week; from late Tuesday morning, January 12 to Wednesday morning, January 19."

"So that's how it started," Fred clarified.

"After I got to the office on Wednesday, Fred came, and he gave me a tour of his flat. It's absolutely gorgeous. You raised your son right, Molly."

Molly beamed at this compliment.

"We talked for a while, getting reacquainted," Fred said, instantly remembering how he detailed his so-far unsuccessful love life. "Then I made Hermione lunch."

"This, I must say, was absolutely wonderful, especially considering I can't cook to save my life."

"And we talked some more until Hermione decided that she'd start up on her article by collecting information on what we talked about. And then we went to sleep. In our own beds."

(No one seemed to notice the last part about sleeping in their own beds, of course. That is, except for Ginny.)

"The next morning, Fred made breakfast, and then questioned me on what I'd be putting in the article. We talked some more. And then Ginny owled, telling me to meet her at the Muggle restaurant Magic where _we_ talked; about my life, about my boss, and about my assignment with Fred. But, before I could've eaten anything, I had this feeling that I needed to return to Fred's flat. Like a tugging on my wrist. Therefore, I did."

"While Hermione was out with Ginny, I was reading some of her previous articles, which I must say are bloody brilliant. Even with those barmy titles. And the more that I got into her articles, the more I thought about Hermione. And then _I _felt this sort of tugging on my wrist. And just as I was about to go do something or other, Hermione landed in my lap."

"So, this being very awkward, I tried to get out of Fred's lap, only to fall to the ground. Fred and I were attached at the wrist. And looking back into our contract, we would until the closing of the assignment. We were looking at the contract when Harry and Ginny walked in on us on my bed, where he was tickling me."

Molly had an incredulous look on her face.

Ginny laughed. "We obviously got the wrong idea."

Harry smiled, giving a hearty laugh. "Yeah, sorry about that comment too."

"So, Ginny and Harry went into the living room, while Fred and I composed ourselves and came up with a plan."

"We pretended to be a couple. Just because I didn't want Harry and Ginny to know that we were stuck together. Me and my bloody pride."

"And they were pretty believable," George piped up. "Hermione and Fred were incredibly convincing when they came with Angelina, Lee, Oliver, Katie, Alicia and I to the Elf's Pixie."

"And not to mention at the first Weasley gathering. You all had us fooled with your artificial couple status," Percy said.

"It was very conniving of the both of you. I would've never expected it from you Hermione," Penelope said, accusingly.

Every Weasley turned to glare at Penelope and Percy. The buggers.

"Percy, Penelope, I'm ashamed of you two," Molly scolded. "They've both confessed. Now all we can do is to forgive them."

Penelope and Percy just stared at Molly, looking somewhat sad.

Then Margaret had to go and be enthusiastic. "When are you going to tell the world?"

Fred and Hermione looked at each other, scared out of their boots. They couldn't tell the world. Telling the Weasleys was hard enough. And the Grangers? Eek! (Dentists can be very scary.) And what about the media? Hermione would lose her job because of her relationship with Fred. I mean, he's supposed to be a bachelor! The wizarding world's _most eligible_ bachelor! This plan of telling the world wasn't going to work out.

"We can't tell anyone else, besides my parents, that is," Hermione said.

"Why not?!" Charlie, Nadia, Bill, and Fleur cried.

"This is fantastic news that needs to be shared!" Molly said.

"I agree," Arthur said.

"It's great now that you have each other," Ron said, wholeheartedly.

"Yeah, you look so cute together," Margaret said.

"You actually do," George said.

"You look almost as cute as George and I," Alicia said.

"But we _can't_," Fred whined.

"Why?" Harry insisted.

"Yeah, why can't you two be cute together?" Ginny demanded.

"Because Fred is supposed to be a bachelor! That was what my whole assignment was about! 'The wizarding world's most eligible bachelor!'" Hermione practically yelled.

"Oh!" was the collective reply from the Weasleys.

"You did tell me that," Ginny muttered, thinking exceptionally hard about that conversation at the restaurant _Magic_.

"So you all have to keep it on the down low," Fred explains, miming with his hands at the "down low" part.

And so, the Weasleys were forced to keep Fred and Hermione's relationship on the "down low."

Now all that they had to do was tell the Grangers.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

The next day, Fred and Hermione went to Hermione's parents' house for dinner, where Hermione told her parents, Drs. David and Jane Granger, about her boyfriend, Fred Weasley.

And they were also told not to tell anyone that they were dating. This made Jane Granger upset, because she absolutely _adored_ Fred. She kept on saying that he was such a "wonderful young man who is very prosperous." (That's Jane Granger for you.)

(David Granger was fond of him as well.)

And so, the Drs. Granger promised not to tell anyone.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Fred and Hermione were very happy how everything turned out.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

Hermione finished her article and put it into editing. Fred came up with a new product, the Glorious Googlie. (Don't dare to ask what it is; Fred couldn't even figure it out.)

What Fred and Hermione didn't know, however, was that it was only the very beginning of a very _abnormal_ (meaning completely foreign territory in Fred and Hermione's standards) relationship.

* * *

**AN: I'm so sorry this took so long. I hope you like it. Don't worry. The story'll pick up soon. It's kind of dragging as of now. **

**Remember, R & R!**

**Here's the quote:**

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.

_- __Albert Einstein_


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: Wow. Chappie number 16. Wow.**

**It should be starting to get really good again. I hope.**

**R & R!**

**Enjoy!**

**Sincerely, **

* * *

_Chapter 16:__ How Do You Eat Your Jelly Beans?_

Fred and Hermione were having a lovely time with their secret rendezvous that no one knew about (except their immediate families, of course). And that was a very good thing, since they didn't want anyone to know about their relationship or, in essence, they would be screwed. Hermione would lose her job. Fred would lose his title to Draco Malfoy. Neither are very nice outcomes.

Soon enough, Hermione's article was edited and featured in _Magical Witch_'s special Valentine's Day February edition (which came out the last week of January).

And here is the fabulous article.

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

_To Be or Not to Be…Fred Weasley_

_By Hermione Granger_

_When you think of the world's most eligible bachelor, what do you think of? Success? Absolutely. Wealth? Most definitely. Looks? Without a doubt. Single status? This man is a bachelor, of course! Well, if you don't know already, the world's most eligible bachelor is indeed _thee _Fred Weasley. The one and only, unattached, handsome, wealthy and successful wizard Fred Weasley. _

_When you think of the world's most eligible bachelor, there are also some unappealing stereotypical connotations that go along with this title. But, you are in luck; Fred Weasley has no such flaws. He is the quintessential most eligible bachelor. _

_I was assigned to dig deep and bring out the true Fred Weasley. Sure, it is quite apparent that this extraordinarily fit red-headed male, who stands at about 1.9 metres (6 feet 2 inches for you Americans), is eye candy, but appearance can't account for everything. _

_First, let us ponder the success of Mr. Weasley. Yes, it is true that he never finished his schooling at Hogwarts, but he did begin one of the world's most successful joke shop franchise with his twin brother George. I have been allowed to disclose to the public how exactly they came about with the funding for their business, and I shall be the first person ever to do so. One name is key: Harry Potter. Fred and George got their humble beginnings with Harry Potter's Triwizard winnings, which he gave to them willingly at the end of his fourth year. Since then, Fred and George have been indebted to him. _

_In relation to wealth, Fred is loaded (and George is too, but he's not a bachelor, now is he?). Yet, Fred doesn't spend his money unless it's absolutely necessary. Generally, he uses a small fraction of his wealth for future products and for advertising. Also, Fred donates a larger fraction of his money to charity. You know that new children's wing at St. Mungo's? Entirely Fred and George. _

_In the appearance department, Fred is dashing. He likes to keep his deep red hair somewhat on the longish side, just because George wears his short. (They're long past the matching twin phase.) He is, as I've already said, 1.9 metres tall. He has that runner's-like build, long limbs with just enough noticeable muscle. His torso, he claims, is something to swoon at (therefore, he didn't show me); a six-pack and other such things. (Quite an image must be forming.) And the miraculous thing about his physique is that he works out when he can, or rather when he wants to, and this happens to be approximately one to two hours a week. He possesses gorgeous hazel eyes; they change colour, with extremes set off by his emotions. His smile is contagious, brilliant in every way. To say the least, he's perfect. _

_Let's see some of his other qualities. Fred is intelligent, though his prankster demeanor illustrates otherwise at times. He can make anyone laugh; so much that changing colours due to a lack of oxygen is a side-effect. (Laughter, you must know, add years to your life.) If you're a horrible cook, such as me, you would never have to cook again because Fred would cook for you. A few words that come to mind to describe Fred are charismatic, generous, kind, and genuine. He's an A-class kind of guy. _

_And now, it is time for a little one-on-one conversation with Fred Weasley in the form of Twenty-Four Questions:_

"First question: What is your full name Fred?"

"The first question is what my full name is? That's quite an easy question. It's Frederick Nevan Weasley."

"Fred, doesn't Nevan mean "little saint"?"

"Indeed it does. Wonderful, isn't it?"

"More like ironic, but next question. What are your parents' names?"

"This is ridiculous. What is with these questions? Do you know who came up with these questions?"

"I honestly don't know who wrote them. Now it's time to answer the question."

Sigh. "Arthur and Molly Weasley."

"Now you have to name all of your siblings, your siblings' significant others, and your nieces and nephews."

"Oh bugger. This will take up some time. To make it easiest, I'll start with the eldest and work my way down. There's Bill and his wife Fleur. They have Adelie, Andre, Armelle, and baby number four is on the way. Charlie is married to this Romanian girl whose name I still cannot pronounce even after the three years he's been married to her. But I do know that her name starts with an 'N'."

"Nadalyna?"

"Yes! That's it! And they have a little boy Ceallach (_pronounced Kay-lok_). We just call him Cea (_sounds like Kay_). Percy, last I heard, has been trying to pluck up the courage to ask his girlfriend of one hundred years, Penelope, to marry him. George is, of course, married to Alicia. They have hopes for kids in the future. Then Ron is currently attached to a very charming Yank, Margaret Box. She is, may I say, is quite charming and she has some…assets. Ron's told me that he's thinking about marrying her. After Ron, there is little Ginerva, or rather, Ginny. But I suppose she isn't that little anymore. She's married to none other than Harry Potter, who she has had a crush on since she was ten. And they are expecting."

"That's a huge family! Lucky you! And, I'm sorry to disappoint you again, but this question is another ridiculous one. What is your age?"

"Oh bugger, now I have to apply maths! Let me see: born April 1, 1978. That makes me almost 23. Next?"

"What is your profession?"

"I'm in sales…joke sales. I'm a prankster by profession."

"Favourite colour?"

"Blue."  
"Favourite food?"

"Um…fish and chips."

"Favourite animal?"

"Dragon."

"Best friend?"

"George."

"Favourite smell?"

"Rain."

"Um…hat size?"

"Hat size? What the bloody hell is a hat size?"

"I'm not quite sure myself. We'll pass that one. Who, that is dead, do you miss the most?"

"I'd have to say Filch. I loved bothering that man. No, no. I was just kidding. To be honest, I miss Dumbledore the most. He always knew what to say. Even to my mum when I was in trouble. He was just a great chap."

"Yes. I miss him too."

"What's the next question?"

"What is your favourite song?"

"Oh. That's difficult. I like music. But…I'd have to say this song by the Muggle band Cartel. It's called 'Honestly.' Quite good of a song."

"It truly is. Moving on, what is your favourite drink?"

"Whoever came up with these questions is a barmy old codger. Why, next I'll be asked what my favourite weather is!"

"Er, you are asked what your favourite weather is, actually."

"Bloody hell! Well then, my favourite beverage is butterbeer, with Fire Whiskey following closely after that. Next."

"Favourite place?"

"The Burrow, my childhood home. No question about that."

"How old were you for your first kiss and with whom?"

"Thirteen, with Angelina Johnson."

"Would you bungee jump?"

"Hell yeah."

"Favourite season?"

"Fall because the leaves match my hair." (A few laughs accompanied that comment, if you must know.)

"Favourite weather?"

"Thunderstorms."

"Favourite memory?"

"When I was ten, George, Ron, Ginny and I put all of the gnomes in our garden in ballerina clothes. We even made them dance. It was all Ginny's idea. Mum wasn't too happy, but she still thought it was funny."

"I would have loved to see that. This next question is interesting. What would your profession be if you were a Muggle?"

"I'd be a clown. I would most certainly be a clown if I were a Muggle."

"You probably would be. Now, name one thing that most people don't know about you."

"I love Muggle stuff almost as much as my dad. My favourite Muggle thing is those feather boa things. And also, I cry at chick flicks."

"Only two more questions. Where would your ideal date take place?"

"Truthfully, as long as we have good food, a good conversation, and good laughs, it doesn't matter where we are."

"Last question: What is your "type" of girl?"

"My type of girl, eh? She'd have to be smart, pretty, funny, slightly sarcastic, and she would absolutely have to have brown eyes. . A nice smile too. Can't forget that. This "girl" of mine would have to be able to put up with my experimentations for new products and when I'm making too many jokes. She'd also have to be on top of things. Not literally, but she'd also have to have good control. She'd just have to be able to deal with a big family and be very personable. And if we were ever to be married, she would have to want a very large family."

OoO

_And now, you've heard the real answers from Fred Weasley. See if you can answer all the trivia questions on the next page. _

OoO

_Sure, it may seem like spending a week with Fred Weasley would be hectic, and it was, but I really learned a lot. I grew up with the Weasleys, ironically, and Fred (and George) was always a little bit foreign to me and I didn't quite understand him. But, this week really let me see the real Fred Weasley. And he is amazing. He's that big brother, that best friend. And _you_ could have the chance to get to know the real Fred Weasley like I did. And all you have to do is write an essay. (See page 3 for more details.)_

OoOoOoOoOoOoO

And that was how the article went. Hermione, being Hermione, was very pleased with herself. However, she was a little upset that another person, male or female, would be spending a day with _her_ boyfriend. But it was nothing she couldn't handle. I mean, she took care of twenty Death Eaters in one go! But that's beside the point. This was Fred; someone who she was almost positive that she loved!

Fred was quite happy at the turnout of the article. He couldn't leave his house without many Aurors on guard. (You can't possibly be completely safe with all those loonies in the world.) But it's not like he was going to be leaving his flat that much either. He either stayed at Hermione's or had Hermione come over. And he was glad that they spent so much time together. He was almost positive that he loved her.

But their love was to be put to the test. Secret rendezvous are frowned upon in society.

* * *

**AN: End of chappie. **

**Quote:**

You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by the way he eats jelly beans.  
-- _Ronald Reagan _(How Do You Eat Your Jelly Beans?)

**(Yes, I had to alter the quote a little, but it works better the way I have it.)**

**R & R!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron**


	17. Chapter 17

**AN: Yay! Chapter 17! This, I certainly hope, makes you get stitches in your sides from laughing. I was feeling very happy, considering I have no more school. **

**Just a warning: if you don't appreciate swearing, please skip the last line. (The f-bomb pops up because I've been listening non-stop to the best musical in the world, **_Spring Awakening_**.) So, I apologise in advance. **

**Enjoy! And don't forget to R & R!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron**

* * *

_Chapter 17: Just a Wet Dream for the Webzine_

Once news got out that you could meet Fred Weasley by writing an essay on why you'd want to meet him, essays upon essays upon essays poured into _Magical Witch_'s post box. Though, like in most contests that have many entries, they picked a random essay. And the lucky winner was certainly lucky, considering that her essay was simply atrocious and that she unfortunately was a little scary. Like dementor scary.

And her name was Marika Piotrowski.

And she's Fred biggest fan.

It was that faithful day of days where Fred was supposed to spend a day with the essay contest winner and without his personal Aurors too. And Hermione wasn't happy.

"Fred, do you have to? Can't you just blow her off?" Hermione had whined to Fred.

Fred kissed Hermione. "You know I'd love to just blow her off, but the people at _Magical Witch_ wouldn't be very happy, now would they?"

Hermione pouted a little. This was strange, because she isn't a pouty kind of girl. But then again, she'd never been the (secret) girlfriend of a guy like Fred Weasley before either.

"Oh, come on Hermione, don't pout. That pouty face of yours is just too cute. Now I definitely don't want to leave you all day to be with Marika Piotrowski! Is that her name?"

"Yes, that's her name," Hermione said unhappily as she plopped herself down on Fred overstuffed puce coloured couch. She crossed her arms indignantly.

"She'll be here in any moment, Mione. You're going to have to leave, I'm sorry to say," Fred said before kissing Hermione's forehead.

Hermione stood up. "Fine."

She stood on her tip-toes and kissed Fred. "Love you."

"Love you too. Now go!"

And so, Hermione Apparated out of Fred living room…into his bedroom.

She poked her head out from Fred's doorway, watching him pace, while he waited for Marika Piotrowski.

_I need a disguise if I'm going to be following Fred and this sketchy Marika Piotrowski character_, Hermione thought. _I'm going to need a long beige trench coat, huge bug-eye sunglasses, a wig, and a hat. Oh, this is going to be fun. _

Hermione quickly (and quietly) changed out of her jeans and sweater, into a sexy black dress that hugged her curves, bright red pumps, a curly, bleach-blonde wig, Jackie-O sunglasses, and a cute little red beret. The calf-length beige trench coat, with the collar popped like a true detective, completed her ensemble.

_Now all I have to do is wait,_ Hermione thought.

And luckily, she didn't have to wait that long.

After two minutes and seventeen seconds, Marika Piotrowski arrived at Fred Weasley's door and rang his doorbell.

Hermione heard her lover take a deep breath and open the door.

"Marika! Darling! How are you?"

She made a sound like a squealing pig, which Hermione interpreted as a sigh of excitement.

"I'm doing wonderful now that I've actually gotten the chance to meet _thee_ Fred Weasley. After all, I am your biggest fan."

Hermione heard Fred laugh a little as she was desperately trying to keep her own laughter down. "Yes, yes you are."

About twenty seven seconds passed without one word being exchanged. Then Fred spoke.

"Well, I suppose we should head to our first destination, now, shouldn't we?" Fred said.

"Where are we going first?"

"Well, I thought that we'd go to my favourite non-Muggle restaurant, The Three Trolls."

Marika squealed.

_Ugh, she sounds like a pig_, Hermione and Fred thought simultaneously.

"We must get going then," Fred said, interrupting Marika's squealing.

Out of nowhere, a rubber ducky appeared.

"We're taking a Portkey. I have celebrity privileges so we're going to end up in special room at The Three Trolls where we then can continue downstairs to the dining area," Fred said to Marika. "Take hold."

And soon, they were gone.

Immediately, Hermione Apparated to The Three Trolls in order to begin her sleuthing.

Being the wonderful witch that she is, Hermione Apparated right to the threshold of the door and walked in, heading to the bar where she could have a view of Fred and, ick, Marika, wherever they sat.

The bartender looked at her, his eyes telling Hermione that he was very much intrigued by her getup.

"What can I get you?"

"Vodka-martini."

"Shaken or stirred?"

"Do I look like I give a damn?"

And so, Hermione got her vodka-martini, and she didn't care whether it had been shaken or stirred.

She casually drank her martini, glancing every few seconds waiting for Fred to appear. And he did eventually. And with Marika. Blech.

Now, under normal circumstances, Hermione wouldn't have been jealous. I mean, she had only been dating Fred for a few secretive weeks. She had never gotten jealous of any girl flirting with Ron before. Not even Lavender (except when they were still at Hogwarts). And it wasn't as if they were planning on getting married any time soon (at least, not too too soon). But something about this Marika Pierson person irked Hermione. Hermione knew that Fred wanted more than anything to go out with her rather than with any fan that wrote and won an essay-contest. Yet still.

Out of her peripheral vision, Hermione saw Fred and Marika take a seat in the back, in order for the press "not to get word." (Hah! What a laugh!) Hermione was plotting Marika's death while she watched Fred, not that she had anything against her or anything.

Fred and Marika were seated in the very back, just where Fred liked. Marika was rambling on about something and it may as well have been about toast it was so boring.

Fred was thinking about one Hermione Granger the whole while and was wondering how she was faring without him. He happened to look up at the bar in his immense boredom and saw a woman wearing a bleach-blonde wig intently staring at him, making no move to try and hide that she was.

_Oh damn,_ Fred thought. _Press has gotten word where this girl and I went. I bet it's Rosie Moseley. I hate her! And I hate practically no one!_

(For anyone who doesn't know who Rosie Moseley is (and you should, shame on you!), she is the new Rita Skeeter. And if you don't know what happened to Rita Skeeter, double shame! She was, unfortunately, squashed trying to figure out what Horcruxes are. She never did get the chance to find out what they are either.)

Marika eventually noticed that Fred was very pale, so she stopped midway through her monologue and became the concerned fan.

"Fred, are you alright?" she asked.

"Hmm? Oh, I'm just fine. I think I'm just a tad hungry."

"Oh, alright." So Marika started up rambling again and she didn't notice Fred peeking up at the bar to look at the woman drinking the vodka-martini.

This woman was _still_ looking at him!

Then the waiter came to Marika and Fred's table. Fred ordered quickly. Marika didn't.

Hermione was still watching Fred. It made him very nervous. He'd never had a stalker before.

Marika and Fred got their food soon enough and Fred tried to answer any of Marika's question while they ate, thought he did so absently since he was paying more attention to his alleged stalker.

By the time he had finished his meal and ordered dessert, Fred was fed-up with this stalker.

He told Marika that he was going to the loo. Her back was to the bar so she couldn't see his real destination.

He strode up to his stalker and pulled her off the stool and toward the kitchens which was hidden by a wall to any customer happening to try and get a peak at the kitchens.

"Look, I don't appreciate being stalked, miss, so I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Fred told his stalker calmly.

"Oh Fred! Don't you know who I am?" the "stalker" asked.

"Of course not! That's why I'm asking you to leave! You could be dangerous!"

"Me? Dangerous? Fred, love, look at me. Could I be dangerous?"

Fred's stalker opened her trench coat to reveal her very sexy black dress.

Fred could practically feel his trousers constrict. He knew that figure anywhere, even with practically nothing on.

"Hermione! What are you doing here?"

"Checking up on you. I only followed you here to make sure you were alright," Hermione said as she moved closer to Fred. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine now, knowing that my stalker is you."

Hermione kissed him. "Good. Now go back and get your chocolate cake, darling."

"But Mione, you taste better than chocolate cake," Fred whined.

He kissed her sweetly and she couldn't say no, especially not when she tasted better than chocolate cake.

She kissed him back with fervor and pushed his up against the wall.

"What about the public?" Fred asked, realising they were snogging in public.

"Screw the public," Hermione said as she pulled off her wig and beret.

Then they heard a voice.

"Oh no, I don't think you're going to screw the public, Fred Weasley and Hermione Granger. They're going to screw you."

Hermione and Fred looked up in the direction of the voice. Standing there was Rosie Moseley, pretty as a posy.

"Hello darlings. It seems that we have a juicy story here. Or maybe a chocolaty one? I can see it on the front page of every paper: _Fred Weasley, the Wizarding World's Most Eligible Bachelor Not a Bachelor?_ Wonderful. Say 'cheese!'"

They heard a camera click.

_Oh fuck. _

* * *

**AN: End of chappie number 17! Yay! You Likey? Tell me please! **

**The last line is Hermione and Fred, just so you know. **

**And the quote:**

Just a wet dream for the webzine.

-'London Beckoned Songs about Money Written by Machines'

_-- Panic! At the Disco_


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: Chapter 18! Wooo! **

**Language warning…Again. Sorry. Once again, I blame it on **_Spring Awakening_.

**R & R lovelies!**

**Sincerely,**

* * *

_Chapter 18: When It Ceases to Be a Secret_

Never had they expected this to happen. Never in a million years, even.

They were totally fucked.

It was just the bitch of living a secret life, I suppose.

Everyone hated them. All of Fred's fans, his customers, his business partners (minus George of course, and any of them that he'd known forever). Hermione's boss hated her, her coworkers, even her intern (who is named Khalid). They were hated by everyone but their friends and family, not that that wasn't expected. And Draco Malfoy since he would be named the Wizarding World's Most Eligible Bachelor if Fred Weasley lost his title.

And what made being hated even worse, they were to be put on trial! For lying about their secret liaison! Poppycock!

So, Hermione and Fred had to hide out for eight days at the Burrow (which was being heavily guarded because practically all the Weasleys were Aurors), awaiting their trial.

Their trial; it was going to be broadcast all over the wizarding world. This trial was the biggest thing since the end of the Second War. And that's certainly saying something.

All the Weasleys were present, the Grangers, Harry and Ginny, Lee Jordan, Katie Bell, Oliver Wood, Angelina Johnson, all seventeen of Hermione's coworkers on her floor of _Magical Witch_, all twenty nine of Fred's employees, and Marika. Not to mention Rosie Moseley, the prickly bitch that she is.

It was the morning of their trial. Fred had been staying in his old room that he had shared with George when they used to live there and Hermione stayed in Ginny's old room. They woke up at six thirty, in order to prepare for their eight o'clock.

Hermione was feeling so horrible, knowing that the result wasn't going to be good. She never planned to fall in love on this assignment; this assignment out of every assignment. She knew that Fred was going to lose his title to Draco Malfoy, and all because of her. She was so distraught that her face was all splotchy and she felt as though she was about to explode, and being in the middle of her you-know-what didn't make it any better.

Fred was also feeling oh so horrible. He never intended to fall in love Hermione. Sure, she wasn't drop-dead gorgeous, but she wasn't an ugly duckling either. Not to mention the fact that she has some serious brain knowledge and killer magical abilities. She also had a fair amount of funny things to say. Fred never intended to get Hermione all caught up in the crazy hype of being on the receiving end of journalism. But she was, and she said that she was going to face the music. They were going to face it together.

They quickly got ready, dressing in dark, somber suits (a pant suit for Hermione) and making sure that they looked very professional. (Fred wanted to wear a blinking tie, but Hermione persuaded him not to.)

At 7:53 am, Hermione and Fred Apparated to the Ministry of Magic for their trial. In the largest courtroom on the twelfth floor down, they saw all their friends and family, coworkers and employees, and many many journalists.

Their judge was the Minister of Magic, better known as Cormac McLaggen.

Once seated on the appropriate sides of the courtroom, Cormac McLaggen began.

"We are gathered here today to join this man and woman…Oh wait, wrong type of gathering," Cormac said. "We're here today to discuss the situation of Mr. Fred Weasley breaking his contract with the magazine_ Magical Witch_, by not being a bachelor and publicly showing couple-type affection with Miss Hermione Granger. Alright then, let's begin. Rosie Moseley, you make ask for your first witness."

Rosie Moseley winked (audaciously) at Cormac before sauntering up to the podium and calling Frederick Nevan Weasley up.

"Morning, Freddy," Rosie smirked. "How are ya?"

"Oh, just peachy, and you Rosie?"

"Simply wonderful. Alright. Let me think of something really good to ask you."

Rosie paused to a moment and spun around in a circle. "When did you begin this assignment?"

"Do you want me to tell you when I first heard about it or when it actually began?"

"Mmm. Both."

"Okay then. I heard about the assignment on January first, and on January twelfth, I met Hermione at _Magical Witch _with her bosses Bert and Amalia."

Rosie was about to ask a question when Fred interrupted her.

"It was in the morning."

"Alright. And then after meeting Hermione, Bert and Amalia at _Magical Witch_, what happened?"

"Well, Hermione Apparated to her flat to get clothes and such while I talked with Bert. Then, after she returned, we Apparated to my flat. I showed her around and gave her _her own_ room and made lunch. We talked and got to knowing each other. I mean, we hadn't really spoken to each other in years. Hermione had been dating my brother Ron and I was constantly away. Generally on business."

"Alright then. Did anything come out of your talking? Any bonding?"

"Well, yeah, we bonded. I had forgotten how witty and intelligent Hermione was. She's a good conversationalist. It was like meeting a friend that I didn't realise I already had again."

"I meant bonding more on a sexual, intimate level."

Fred gave Rosie a look that could only be categorised as pure, unadulterated loathing.

"No, _Rosie_. We didn't bond on a 'sexual, intimate level.' Hell, we were just getting reacquainted as friends."

Under his breath, Fred whispered "bitch." Rosie thought she heard him say something, so she glared at Fred.

"Miss Moseley, do you have any more questions for Mr. Weasley?"

"Yes, I do."

"Then get on with it. I'm missing my daughter's Quidditch game."

"Fine. So, Freddy, in the following days that Hermione spent with you, what did the two of you do? I want a day-by-day account."

"Sure. Whatever you want," Fred said, getting very aggravated. "So, the rest of the twelfth, we just talked. About our past relationships, our friends, our family, what this assignment would fully entail. Normal conversations. The weather. I even made food.

"The next morning, January 13th, a Wednesday, I made breakfast. Hermione and I talked some more. Mostly about our professions. Around one thirty. Hermione got an owl from my sister Ginny to go out to lunch. I had no problem with that. So I told her to go. While she was gone, I read some of her previous articles to learn her writing style and what it was that she wrote about in those magazines. Let me tell you, those titles are absolutely horrible. Catchy, but horrible. But I guess all they need is something catchy. Anyway, I'm getting off track. Hermione was maybe gone for twenty minutes when I felt a tugging on my wrist. Seconds later, I found that Hermione was sitting in my lap. And we were attached at the wrist. Because of the stupidest idea in the world: a binding contract. I mean, who has binding contracts anymore anyway? That's ridiculous!"

"So, you were attached at the wrist?" Rosie said accusingly.

_Why she would say anything accusingly at this stage of the game? _everyone was wondering.

"Yes. Hermione and I were attached at the bloody wrist. My left, her right. So she could write I suppose. She_ is_ a lefty. Do you know that percentages of how many people in the world are lefties? Twenty-seven percent! That's a good figure!"

"Yes yes. That's wonderful," Rosie said, bored with the statistics. "What happened after that?"

"Well, once we figured out that we hand invisible handcuffs on, Hermione dragged me into her room to look at the contract. Within it, we found that there was a binding contract. I then tried to lighten up the situation by tickling her, and then my sister Ginny and my brother-in-law Harry found us in what you could call a compromising position, but I was tickling her. And I was straddling her on her bed. They got the wrong idea. So, that gave me the perfect idea, why not pretend to be a couple, and then we won't have to explain our predicament!"

"Interesting," Rosie said, smirking evilly. "Go on. I can tell you have some more to tell."

"So, we told Harry and Ginny that we were dating. Then that night, we had to tell the rest of the family at dinner. How else were we to explain not moving more that six inches away from each other at all times? But this hole that I dug us into just got deeper once my brother George and my friends came to take us out on Saturday night. We went out to the Elf's Pixie, a very popular dance club if you aren't up to date on today's current party places. There, we had lots of fun. We even got to ride on the Knight Bus home because one of my friends needed help. Hermione and I tried staying up to watch him to make sure that he was alright. I mean, if you were almost molested, wouldn't you want your friends there to save you? Hermione and I sat in my big-enough-for-two-people chair, watching my friend while he slept off his alcohol. We eventually fell asleep very early on Sunday morning. And in the morning, Hermione and I almost kissed. I tried to blame the lack of the sleep. Hermione probably did too. By now, we were used to waking up sleeping next to each other after the average amount of sleep we're used to. I mean, we had to since we were attached at the bloody wrists!"

"How unusual. So, you had to sleep in the same bed since you couldn't move more than six inches away from each other. Interesting. What did you do about bathing? Did you use the magical method, or did you use a shower, a bath tub?"

"Well…we um, had to use a shower since we, uh, knew that using our wands wouldn't be as efficient," Fred managed to get out, though he was a nice shade of tickle me pink crayon.

"So, are you saying you showered together? I'm assuming that you didn't wear clothes?" Rosie asked. She was just positively evil!

"Yes, we showered together and we didn't wear clothes."

"You were naked together, in the shower?"

"Miss Moseley, another question. _Now_," Cormac asked, by now, very irritated and bored.

"Yes, of course Minister. So, Freddy, you slept in the same bed together, showered together, blah blah blah. Did you ever act on hormones or possibly alcohol? Did you ever, mmhmm, what's the word I'm looking for? Oh, did you fornicate?"

Fred's eyes got wide. The fact that they were hazel was quite prevalent. He looked to Hermione; he was pleading to her. _Forgive me_, his eyes were saying.And _I love you. _

She looked straight back into his eyes, telling him what tell Rosie and the Minister and the court.

* * *

**AN: Hah! Cliff-hanger!**

**R & R lovelies!**

**Quote:**

Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret.

-- _Aphra Behn_


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: So, now here is the rest of the trial. **

**Remember to R & R!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron**

* * *

_Chapter 19: The World is Full of Willing People_

Every person present in the courtroom was awaiting Fred Nevan Weasley's answer. Of course, there was only one person who actually _knew_ what the answer was.

Hermione Jean Granger.

Hermione was having a hard time breathing. I suppose you would be too if you had just told your once-secret-but-not-a-secret-anymore boyfriend to tell a court full of hundreds of people that you've had sex. Sex is a very personal thing. It's not something you tell the media _on purpose_. But, Hermione did.

And there was no way to back out of this now.

Molly Weasley, being Molly Weasley, was not as calm as she thought she would have been. After all, this was only a little trial. It was, wasn't it? But, oh no!, it wasn't. Her second youngest son was being asked about his love life; the love life that she didn't even _want_ to know about. Sure, she would have loved it if all of her children decided to wait until marriage in order to…you-know-what. But unfortunately, the times were changing and it was perfectly acceptable to sleep with someone before marriage. Not that they, meaning Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, didn't you-know-what before they were married. (They were married in April of 1970; Bill came in late November. You do the math.)

Nevertheless, Molly Weasley was very uncomfortable with sitting in the courtroom, awaiting he second youngest son's answer like everyone else.

Arthur Weasley was quiet. He didn't have anything to say. He would have never thought that his son would _intentionally_ break his contract. Fred had to have known the rules of the assignment. He had complete faith in his son and Hermione. Fred and Hermione. Now, they were a very nice couple.

Bill Weasley was shocked. Fred, getting in trouble with the law? Never!

Fleur Weasley was a little embarrassed. She forgot that when she was marrying Bill, she was marrying his family too. Now, she was quite alright with Charlie and Percy and Ron and Ginny, but Fred and George were always on her "list." And being on her "list" was not a good thing. The funny thing was, though, that Fred and George were the only ones _ever_ on her "list." Well, she just had to deal with it.

Charlie Weasley was amazed. He never expected Fred to have to go on trial. Sure, he was always pushing the limits, but a trial? Wow. That was all he could say. Wow.

Nadalyna Weasley was happy. She loved being in the company of her in-laws. They were so nice and warm and fuzzy. It was too bad that all her family didn't like them. And Fred? He was very funny. And Hermione, she was nice too. She hoped that she would be her sister in-law eventually.

Percy Weasley was appalled and mortified and very very discontented. He was all alone since Penelope had to work. She couldn't have gotten out of her job even for this monumental _thing_. Yes. Percy didn't like it one bit.

George Weasley was confused. What had his brother done? He just happened to be dating Hermione. That was no big deal. And plus, Hermione was wonderful for him. Anyone could see. You would have to be blind to not see that.

Alicia Weasley was feeling very unwell. It had nothing to do with Fred and Hermione's trial but rather her current condition. George would be receiving a yelling from her later for getting her pregnant. Yes, he bloody well would.

Ron Weasley was, well, he didn't know. All he knew was that he was at the Ministry somewhere for Hermione and Fred's trial. And it was _bor-ing_! He had almost fallen asleep a couple of times but Margaret, thankfully, woke him up every time he almost did. What a wonderful girlfriend she was. She was definitely a keeper. A very pretty keeper. Sigh.

Margaret Box, most-definitely-a-Weasley-in-the-future, was tired. She hadn't gotten much sleep the night before. But, she knew her job was to keep Ron awake. He snored too loudly. Poor baby didn't get much sleep either. But, Margaret knew that she had to stay awake in order to hear the verdict. It was very interesting case, she knew. And probably important considering all the journalists present.

Ginny Potter was intrigued. It wasn't everyday that you got to go to court because your brother happened to break a contract without even knowing it. And the fact that Fred broke it with _her_ best friend Hermione was pretty epic. Her best friend Hermione, the rule follower. Amazing, huh?

Harry Potter was what you could call mystified. Mystified that Hermione was on trial for her "secret" liaison; mystified that this liaison was with Fred Weasley; mystified that they were even_ on _trial from something as stupid as this. He was just mystified.

"Well, I'm waiting Freddy," Rose Moseley practically screeched, tapping her foot impatiently.

Fred gulped. He looked at his hands then his eyes locked on Hermione's.

"Yes."

"Yes what?!" Rosie the prickly demanded.

"Yes, I did. Yes, we did. Yes, I was drunk. Yes, so was Hermione. Yes, I wanted to. Yes, she wanted to, too. Yes, I love her. And yes, I think she loves me too."

The entire court gasped, minus three woman named Ginny Potter, Margaret Box, and Hermione Granger.

Ginny and Margaret sighed because it was just so romantic, being the closet-romantics that they were.

Hermione didn't make a sound.

Then Rosie chuckled. "I suppose there is no further questioning from me. I've managed to make my case."

_Click clack. Click clack _went Rosie Moseley's shoes as she walked back to her seat.

"Well, are there any more questions for Mr. Weasley?" Cormac McLaggen, the Minister, asked, bored out of his skull. Not that was difficult.

Hermione Granger jumped up, realising that she found a very important loop-hole.

"I do!" Hermione cried.

"Alright Miss Granger. Proceed," Minister McLaggen waved her on. It hadn't occurred to him that they were in the Slug Club together. Hmm. Imagine that?

"Fred, it is my understanding that you couldn't be in a true romantic relationship while being on this assignment. However, isn't it true that you weren't technically on any such relationship during this assignment because it was only pretend?"

Fred smiled, quite aware that his girlfriend was a bloody genius.

"Yes. You and I only _pretended_ to be boyfriend and girlfriend in order to explain to my family why we weren't moving more than six inches away from each other."

"And is it true that you only came up with this idea of pretending to be a couple so it wouldn't hurt your pride?"

"Unfortunately, it was. I couldn't bear to be laughed at because I didn't read the entire contract."

"And when exactly did we have sex?"

"The very last night of the assignment. But technically, we weren't even c couple then.

"Actually, I believe the assignment was over at midnight on January 19. We didn't have sex until _after_ midnight, so it was already January 20. Plus, the contract never mentioned physical contact, sexual intercourse, but only a _true_ couple-like relationship, where there is unmistakable evidence of commitment."

"Hermi- er, Miss Granger is right. We didn't decide to become a couple until the _week-long _assignment was finished."

"Therefore, I conclude _my_ case and prove that Fred and I weren't breaking our contract. Now it's only left for the jury to decide."

Hermione and Fred walked away from the stand and took their seats. Ginny grabbed her best friend's hand and gave it a squeeze as George gave Fred a suggestive wink. Hermione and Fred were feeling very good about themselves.

Rosie, however, was not. She was purely livid.

And Marika. Marika looked very sad. Why, she didn't even know! That is, until she decided to be the better person. After all, Rosie had bribed her with a large sum of money just to be present at the trial and look very crestfallen that her hero was a liar.

"Mr. Minister, people of the jury, I'd like to say one thing before you make your choice. As you know, I won the essay contest. I was absolutely thrilled when I learned I had. When I met Fred for my day with his, I had about died and gone to heaven. It was a dream come true. I _am_ his biggest fan.

"He was so nice to me. People are generally not nice to me unless they want something." Marika made a point to glare at Rosie.

She continued. "I can tell you now, truthfully, that I believe, no, I know, that this trial was uncalled for and wrong. Fred didn't do anything wrong. He didn't mean to fall in love with Hermione. As much as I wish that he had fallen in love me, it's obvious that Fred is happy. Why interrupt his happiness when he clearly, as Hermione has just proven, didn't do anything? Hopefully, you will decide to be the better person, as I have, and see that what Hermione and Fred have done is not worthy of an type of punishment."

Marika sat down, feeling very proud of herself.

Soon, a thunderous drumming of some kind exploded. The entire court was clapping! And for Marika! It was stunning.

Minister McLaggen was amused, though he didn't show it. He called on the jury who were frantically trying to finalize the verdict.

"Have you some to a conclusion?" the Minister questioned.

"Yes, we have," a stout woman in her late fifties said. "We find the defendants Fred Nevan Weasley and Hermione Jean Granger innocent."

People screamed in jubilation and Molly Weasley cried. Ginny, Harry, Ron and Margaret laughed. The other Weasleys smiled so broadly and hugged the defendants who were just proclaimed innocent.

Hermione and Fred were over the moon. So, being over the moon, Hermione jumped up and wrapped her arms and legs around Fred and gave him the snogging of his life. And in front of all his family, all the journalists, the jury, the crowd, the Minister.

And for once, Hermione didn't bother with thinking.

"Marry me, Fred?"

* * *

**AN: Omigod. Omigod. Omigod. **

**R & R!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron**

**PS: I have finished Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows! Nooooo! sob**


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: Hey there. Chapter 20 here. It's a little boring I must warn you. Just a little filler before the good stuff comes along. I promise chapter 21 will be good. I just wanted all readers to know that this chapter will be boring. No dialogue whatsoever. **

**I hope you're happy that before I leave, I'm puting in one last chapter. Evil. I know! **

**And I'm so sorry! I forgot Chapter 19's quote! It is:**

The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them.  
-- _Robert Frost_

**So, yeah. **

**Yours truly, **

* * *

_Chapter 20: Heart in a Headlock_

(mid to late August, 2001)

The months passed. Hermione and Fred were happily in a relationship, a very strong and wonderful relationship. They were, at the moment, searching all over Britain for the perfect house for their future family.

No, they weren't pregnant. And no, they weren't married. Fred had answered Hermione's spur-of-the-moment proposal with an "eventually." And, of course, with and "I wanted to ask you first!" But that obviously wasn't going to happen since Hermione beat him to the punch.

Nevertheless, Hermione was okay, for now, with "eventually."

Let's catch up a little from the trial in late February.

Hermione gave her two weeks notice as soon as she left the Ministry with Fred. Bert, the fat pervert that he was, was not happy. That is, until he realised a new skirt would be hired. Amalia, the Japanese-speaking Swede, was indifferent. Especially since she got Hermione's intern, Khalid. On the plus side, he was hot.

Fred managed to get Hermione enrolled in Healer classes that he paid for. (At first, Hermione didn't want to be a charity case, but Fred persuaded her, in multiple ways.)

Hermione couldn't have been happier with her life. Sure, she had a lot of extra work to catch up on since her classes had started in mid-January and she didn't start until late February, but she loved it. Hermione loved that Fred was so supportive as well. Especially when he helped, yes, helped her, study for her weekly exams. Fred was the best boyfriend anyone could ask for. And he loved her unconditionally.

Fred was ecstatic that Hermione was following her dream (though, with a little persuasion) to become a Healer. He also was very ecstatic that she allowed him to pay for her classes.

Hermione, as busy as she was with lessons and labs and hands on experience at St. Mungo's, always found time to help Fred with new WWW products. And she loved every moment of the pure joy she experienced with Fred when a new product was a success.

Fred couldn't have been happier with his life. Yes, he had mounds of experimenting to do and plenty of business deals to make, but he loved it. He loved it that Hermione was so supportive of the booming business he shared with his twin George. Especially when she found ways to make their products even better. Hermione was the best girlfriend anyone could ever ask for. And she loved him unconditionally.

Hermione had moved in with Fred. Fred, somehow, adjusted to female closets; they didn't scare him anymore. And Hermione, miraculously, learned how to cook. Hermione claimed Fred's culinary skills rubbed off on her, literally. And they had a good meal system going. Hermione made breakfast Monday through Friday; Fred made breakfast on the weekends. Fred cooked dinners Monday through Thursday while Hermione did so on weekends. Every Friday, Fred and Hermione went out, either by themselves or with friends and family. Every other Sunday was a Weasley gathering; brunch, a picnic, dinner, whatever. They had it all down to a science.

Now is the perfect time to examine the Weasleys and how they had faired since February.

They were all doing quite well.

Arthur was still quite active in the Ministry and still very enamored with everything Muggle. Molly was very busy knitting baby booties and blankets and sweater for four babies.

Bill and Fleur welcomed their fourth child, a third little girl, Aurelie, on August fourth.

Charlie and Nadalyna were very occupied with Cea who was showing extraordinary magical abilities at only eighteen months. Dragons and Cea were a handful.

Percy and Penelope were planning their wedding accordingly. The date was set for April 5, 2002m a little less than eight months away.

George and Alicia were decorating the perfect room for their baby; it was now a pale green room with a border of magical creatures. (The couple didn't want to know if it was a girl or boy; pale green was a neutral colour.) They had already decorated it two times before, but Alicia didn't like it either time. Anyway, you know what they say, third times the charm. Alicia was due in early October.

Ron and Margaret were adjusting to their new life in America. Ron loved his position as the Head Auror of his New England branch. Margaret was enjoying all the time she got to spend with Ron, since she was an Auror too. She didn't mind the closeness to New York City either.

Harry and Ginny were eagerly awaiting the arrival of their twins. Ginny still had not found the perfect names for her son and daughter, and Harry was getting frustrated with her fluctuating emotions. September 25 wasn't coming soon enough.

The entire Weasley clan was doing quite well, as you can see.

Let's get straight down to Hermione and Fred's house shopping, for lack of better topics to hear about.

Now, seeing as they were a serious couple, Fred and Hermione had talked about their futures already. They had (mentally) premeditated their wedding, down to the silverware and food. They had spoken about children; Fred wanted twelve, but Hermione put her foot down and told him that seven was the limit, no matter what. They had discussed how long they wanted to wait before having kids. Hermione told Fred that she wanted him as her husband for a year or two before kids came into the picture; Fred agreed. And, Fred and Hermione had already envisioned their perfect house.

It would be a lovely country cottage, three stories and a lot of square footage. It would have a very large master bed and bath, nine bedrooms (at least two for the guests, since seven kids was the limit), five full bathrooms, a cozy and spacious kitchen with a island and eat-in area, a living room with a fireplace, an elegant dining room for dinner parties, a formal parlor, a library (for Hermione), and a furnished basement for the kids…and Fred. There would be a small garage on their 25 acres for a WWW workshop, as well as a garden complete with gnomes, a pond for swimming, and enough room for a full sized Quidditch pitch. There would also be lots of trees and bushes and foliage for privacy. The location would be prime; not too close t the rest of their family, but only a few streets away. Unfortunately, Fred and Hermione had yes to find their dream home.

On one particularly gloomy summer day, August 21 to be exact, Fred and Hermione had found the house they had been looking for, down to the last nook and cranny.

And so, they bought it. Even though it did cost hundreds of thousands of Galleons.

They were one step closet to their happy ending. Now all they had to do was get engaged (officially with a ring and everything), get married, wait a year or three, then have kids.

And Fred was in the process of getting it into motion.

He was going to ask Hermione to marry him. He just didn't know when.

* * *

**AN: Sorry this chapter was so boring. The rest of the remaining FIVE chapters will be fun. Yes. I know. Only FIVE more chapters. SOB **

**R & R lovelies!**

**Quote: **

Cause you got my heart in a headlock

You stopped the blood and made my head soft

The Feeling- "Sewn"

**Yours truly,**

**lovah of Ron**


	21. Chapter 21

**AN: My faithful readers! No, I have not died. No, I have not stopped. That would have killed you. I just am here to tell you a very important tidbit of information: I know that I may have told some readers that there are only five more chapters left, but that is a horrible mistake. There will the TWENTY SIX chapters, with the 26th chapter being the epilogue. There is plenty of FreMione left. And no more boring chapters! YAY! (At least I hope they're not boring.)**

**Thanks to all my reviewers and readers while I was away. It made me happy to see those emails telling me I have reviews/favorites/alerts. **

**I'll stop talking now. **

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron**

* * *

_Chapter 21: __Too Much is Not Even Enough Part One_

Fred had finally planned it all out. He had determined the day, the place, the time, the how. He had scheduled the dinner and preordered the meal. He found the perfect ring too. Fred was ready and Hermione wouldn't know what hit her.

It was September 18. _Thee_ day. (And also the day before Hermione's birthday, so Hermione would never expect this to be the day that she would be proposed to.) Hermione, like I just said, thought it was any other night out. However, Fred hadn't told her where they were going, but only to dress up.

Hermione, anticipating a fancy restaurant, wore the dress she had just bought with a very-pregnant-due-any-day Ginny. (Ginny explained to Hermione, since the dress was truly expensive, it was an early birthday present to herself.) It was a pearly satin colour and strapless, with a form-fitting bodice and an A-line skirt that went just below her knees. She wore matching rounded pumps that she happened to already have. Deciding on gentle curls, natural looking makeup, and diamond studs, Hermione looked much like you would think an angel looks. Without the wings of course.

Hermione stepped out of the bedroom she and Fred share to find Fred pacing in their living room, looking absolutely adorable in his black silk-lined suit and emerald tie.

"Hermione, you look stunning. Breathtaking," Fred said. He was having trouble breathing.

He kissed her lightly.

"Thank you," Hermione said, a little breathless herself. "Shall we be going then?"

Fred took her extended arm and wrapped it in his. "We shall."

The Disapparated with a 'pop.'

Fred had brought them to the most upscale wizarding restaurant in the world: _Mystique_, underground in the heart of London.

"You didn't," Hermione breathed in awe.

"I did," Fred replied, smiling extraordinarily.

The hostess, a very elegant witch, seated them immediately. They sat at the best table in the entire restaurant, where there would be no interruptions or distractions from any other customers.

Fred, being the perfect gentleman, pulled out Hermione chair to seat her himself.

She smiled.

"How in the world did you get reservations here?" Hermione wondered as Fred took his seat.

"I called about a month in advance. Think of it as a birthday present from me."

Fred took one of Hermione's hands in his and intertwined their fingers. A perfect fit.

Hermione smiled and kissed Fred across the table.

"You're amazing and I love you."

"And I love you. Happy early twenty second birthday," Fred replied before kissing Hermione.

Moments later, a waiter brought a bottle of the finest champagne in the wizarding world, _Algoné Zazua_. [Ahl-goh-ney Zae-zwah

Fred popped the cork and a technicolour rainbow of fizzes exploded.

"_Algoné Zazua_, Fred?" Hermione uttered, completely flabbergasted.

"I asked for the finest, and this is what they brought," he said, pouring two flutes. "Besides, you're worth it."

Hermione melted. Fred had always been somewhat of a romantic, but never to this extent. At least not that she knew of. Hermione kind of liked it. Even if it was cliché.

They enjoyed their champagne and their first and second courses. (For lack of ideas from this narrator of what they had for their first and second courses, it wasn't important.)

Hermione and Fred talked about everything.

Hermione spoke enthusiastically about her graduation in mid-December when she would officially become the Healer-assistant to a veteran Healer. (A year or so with a veteran, and she'd be on her own.) She was very glad Fred pushed her into Healing.

Fred animatedly told Hermione about WWW's new project: creating a product that would have no specific use, but that could do anything (within legal matters of course). Hermione thought it was a marvelous idea. She just didn't know how they could come up with it; it seemed improbable.

The third course had just been served when it was interrupted by Ginny's baby emergency Galleon.

"Oh, bugger," Hermione said as she read the message the Galleon relayed. "Ginny's in labour."

"But she's not due for another week!" Fred said, standing up.

"I know. But since she's in labour now, there's nothing to stop the babies from coming, whenever it is that they come. First time mothers are highly unpredictable."

Hermione sighed. Ginny always did have the worst timing. For instance: when she got married for the first time in Vegas, giving Hermione that brush at her second wedding where she helped Hermione realise she wasn't in love with Ron by complete accident, setting up that lunch to tell Hermione that she was pregnant, finding Hermione and Fred in that compromising position. The list goes on.

"I suppose we're going to have to go to St. Mungo's now?" Fred said sadly.

"Yes, I'm afraid so," Hermione sympathized. She was having such a magnificent time. "I kind of like being alive right now. And I don't know if Ginny would spare me if I didn't go."

Fred nodded in agreement.

_Damn, dessert was the next course and the finale of the night was after that,_ Fred thought as he flagged a waiter telling him they'd be leaving and to send the check via owl.

Hermione took Fred's arm before they Apparated to St. Mungo's.

The engagement ring in Fred's pocket felt very heavy at the moment, and he wondered why he bothered with magnificent when Hermione would have been just as happy, if not more, with a simple candlelit picnic on their living room floor or in the backyard at the Burrow.

Hermione pulled Fred along to the welcome desk.

"Hello. We're here for Ginny Potter. She's in labour," Hermione said to the Welcome Witch.

The Welcome Witch looked up from her magazine (_Mystical Witch_) and blew a bubble with her bubblegum. "Floor seven. Room 483C."

She turned back to her magazine.

"Thank you."

Hermione pulled Fred, yet again, from the welcome desk and Apparated to Floor seven, which happened to be the floor Hermione had been assigned to her in her profession.

Fred checked his watch. It was 11:13 pm. He could've been proposing in moments if they had still been at _Mystique_. But they weren't. And he had to come up with another way to propose, and fast.

Hermione rushed into Ginny's room, Fred trailed behind her. They found that nearly all the Weasleys were there, minus Alicia, Fleur and the children.

"Well, hello there family," Fred said, slightly surprised. He hadn't expected to see them all.

Ginny looked over from her hospital bed.

"Oh, Hermione, that dress looks amazing on you! And I'm so terribly sorry about dragging you both here, but I need Hermione for moral support."

"It's okay, Gin-Gin. You're my baby sister and now you're having your own babies. We couldn't _not_ come. It's my responsibility as your older brother.

"And mine being your best friend," Hermione added.

The other Weasleys shifted uncomfortably where they stood. They had a feeling they'd be kicked out shortly.

Ginny had just melted at hearing those loving words from her best friend and second youngest older brother.

"Everyone out!" Ginny screeched. Her voice quickly softened. "Except you Hermione and Fred. You too Mum and Dad. _Don't you even think about it Harry James Potter._ You got me pregnant and there's no way you're leaving now."

(Harry had been trying to dissolve in the crowd of departing Weasleys. It clearly didn't work.)

"Yes, love," Harry surrendered. He'd faced Voldemort on countless occasions and one pregnant gin was still scarier at times.

So, for the next twelve hours, the banished Weasleys waited outside Ginny's door, watching Healers go in and out. Harry, Molly, Arthur, Fred, and Hermione were there whenever Ginny needed a hand.

Those twelve hours were complete hell for Fred. He couldn't sleep since he was afraid of Ginny killing him in his sleep and because of that little black box in his trouser pocket weighing on him heavily.

However, he was thinking about how he'd propose under the conditions in the hospital.

One possibility Fred had thought of was making a jello mold, a green one, and put the ring in it for Hermione to find. However, that would take too long to prepare. There were millions of other options, but none of them seemed to work.

Another hour passed (it was now already September 19 around one in the afternoon) and _still_ no Potters were welcomed into the world.

"When the bloody hell are they going to cooperate!" Ginny yelled.

"Well, _love_, if you had decided what you wanted to name then, then maybe they would've felt more inclined to join us!" Harry yelled back.

(Don't blame Harry. He was exhausted. And strung out on caffeine.)

"Don't you dare Harry! You haven't come up with anything yourself!" Ginny retorted.

"It's not like I haven't given you any ideas. You put them all down!"

"Well, maybe it's better that I haven't named them yet! I want to see them first so I can find out _who_ they look like!"

Before Harry could come back with anything, Ginny's face contorted drastically.

"Oh, bugger, I think they're coming!" she cried.

"Thank god," Fred whispered to Hermione.

"I know," Hermione muttered under her breath to Fred.

Ginny had her mother on one side and Harry on the other; Arthur stood behind Molly. Hermione and Fed stood to the side so the Healers could do their job.

Fred, just then, came up with a brilliant idea. _THEE_ idea.

He turned to Hermione.

"You know that I love you, right?" he asked.

Hermione was caught off guard. "Of – of course," she stuttered. "And I love you."

"Well, Hermione Jean Granger," he said as he knelt, right at the end of Ginny's hospital bed and pulling the box to of his pocket, "will you marry me?"

Hermione looked at Fred, then to Ginny who looked shocked and pained simultaneously, and to Harry looking quite tired, and to Molly and Arthur looking oh-so-happy, and back to Fred.

"Yes," Hermione breathed as Fred slipped the ring onto her finger.

Fred jumped up and scooped Hermione up, kissing her passionately.

"Oh, and happy birthday."

Fred heard Ginny scream, and in a tizzy of many emotions, let go of Hermione to look at his baby sister. Unfortunately, that also happened to be the time when a head popped out.

Fred fainted.

Hermione knelt next to the fallen Fred and began fanning him.

"Oh dear."

* * *

**AN: Wow. Chapter 21 end. **

**Ha! It's kind of a cliffy too!**

**Love you all! R & R!**

**Quote: **

Where love is concerned, too much is not even enough.  
-- _Pierre De Beaumarchais _


	22. Chapter 22

**AN: Another chapter down. **

**Do what ya gotta do…R & R!**

**Enjoy!**

**Sincerely,**

**lovah of Ron**

* * *

_Chapter 22: Too Much is Not Even Enough Part Two_

Let's go back to Fred fainting and the first Potter being welcomed into the world.

"It's a girl!" the Healer had cried, just as the baby began to wail.

The baby girl Potter got cleaned up and wrapped in a fuzzy pink blanket, then was given to her mother.

Hermione had rushed over to Ginny after levitating her _fiancé_ into a chair. (He was slowly gaining consciousness.)

"She's gorgeous," Hermione said.

"And she's so tiny," Harry said.

"And she's ours," Ginny said, kissing her daughter's little nose.

Molly and Arthur were absolutely beaming.

Fred, now fully conscious, asked, "What's her name?"

Ginny handed the baby to Harry.

"Bryrony Marie Potter," Harry answered.

Another contraction came, Harry gave Bryrony to Molly, and Hermione sat next to Fred.

Hermione slipped her hand into Fred's.

He smiled sheepishly. "So you're really going to marry me?"

"Yes, I'm really going to marry you. After all, I did ask you first. But now I know that I'll be Mrs. Frederick Nevan Weasley."

Hermione gently kissed Fred.

"You know, even though I agreed to marry you, I don't think I'm going to want you in the delivery room when we have our first child. I'm not too keen on fainting husbands. Harry didn't," Hermione joked.

"Well, I'll have a chair beside me, I'm sure," Fred said smiling.

Their little fun was interrupted with another cry. Bryrony's twin was born.

Fred and Hermione came over to Ginny's bed.

"A little boy," the Healer said, giving Ginny her son.

Molly was so happy. She handed Hermione Bryrony.

"And what's this little man's name?" Fred asked as Bryrony managed to clasp onto one of Fred's fingers.

Ginny answered. "Evan Michael Potter."

Hermione gave Bryrony to her amazed father. Evan was in his mother's loving arms.

They were the cutest little family. It made Hermione want to get married right then.

If you looked at the cute little Potter family, you could see where Evan and Bryrony got their facial features.

Evan had Ginny's nose and chocolate eyes, and tufts of raven coloured hair. You could've said that Evan was a replica of James Potter, his grandfather, but that would have been a lie.

Bryrony, despite her current lack of hair, was definitely going to be a redhead. Her cry, loud as it was, was a dead giveaway. She had a nose identical to Ginny and Evan, but her eyes were brilliantly green like her father's. She looked like a mix of Ginny and Harry.

So yes, the little Potter family was adorable.

The rest of the Weasley family was admitted into the room and cooed over the newest editions. Bryrony and Evan were happily being passed around. That's when Ginny got the chance to steal Hermione.

"Let me see the ring right now," Ginny demanded.

"You actually managed to witness our proposal while giving birth?" Hermione asked, astounded.

"Well, of course I did; I'm Ginny. Now let me see the ring."

It was simple but beautiful; a gold band with a reasonably sized diamond. Because of it's simplicity, it was absolutely gorgeous and it suited Hermione perfectly.

"It's beautiful Mione, just beautiful. And it's completely you."

"It is, isn't it?" Hermione agreed, smiling.

Abruptly, George handed Hermione Evan as he took Bryrony.

"Hey there, Evan," Hermione said tapping his tiny nose. Hermione lowered her voice to a whisper as she cradled little Evan. "You know, Ginny, I always expected to become a Weasley, but I honestly never imagined being Mrs. Fred Weasley."

"Well, I suppose you never quite imagined getting engaged in a delivery room at St. Mungo's either," Ginny said.

Hermione laughed. "This is true. But I love that I did and that I am getting married to Fred. I love Fred, jus the way he is. If he had proposed to me in the fancy restaurant we were at, I would have that it wasn't really Fred proposing. I'm so lucky to have him."

"You are perfect for each other, as crazy as it seems to people who aren't close to you," Ginny said before yawning.

"By the way," she continued, " you look like a natural holding Evan."

"It feels natural," Hermione admitted.

"Well, as much as I love seeing my whole family here, telling em how adorable Bryrony and Evan are, the three of us most definitely need our sleep. Can you get rid of everyone for me?"

"Of course, what are best friends for?"

"That, obviously, and being godmother to her best friend's son or daughter."

Hermione gasped. "Are you serious?"

"Of course; Harry and I had discussed this when we got pregnant. It was unanimous; you and Ron and whoever your significant others were get the job. Do you want Evan or Bryrony?"

"How am I supposed to choose?"

"I don't know. I like eenie-meanie-minie-mo personally," Ginny said, almost being completely serious.

Hermione looked appalled.

"Oh, alright, I'll choose for you. You get Bryrony since you're a girl. And it makes it even better since you share a birthday. Happy birthday!"

"You did remember!"

"Of course, just because the Healers gave me fifty different potions for the pain doesn't mean that I would forget my best friend's birthday."

Hermione hugged Ginny with one arm, since Evan was in her other arm.

"Being a godmother to Bryrony is probably the best birthday present ever. And you should know that you're my matron of honour."

"Of course I am, birthday girl. Now make everyone leave," Ginny said taking Evan from Hermione's outstretched arms.

And so Hermione got rid of all the Weasleys and went home with Fred where they partook in adult games as an engaged couple.

**

* * *

**

**AN: Chapter 22. Ta-Da! **

**R & R loves!**

**Quote:**

Where love is concerned, too much is not even enough.  
-- _Pierre De Beaumarchais _


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: Okay. So I think I lied. Again. This chapter might also be a little boring like Chapter 20. But hey, I lied about having only 25 chapters, and now you have an extra chapter!**

**Anyway, enjoy. R & R!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron **

_

* * *

_

_Chapter 23: The Heart of the Soul _

Molly was cooking. Molly was cooking up a party and cooking up a lot of food. And when Molly was doing those two things, she tended to be very happy.

There were many other things that made Molly happy. One was the joyous arrivals of Bryrony and Even Potter. And the fact that her baby, Ginny, had become a mother herself. Also that she now had seven grandchildren and another grandchild on the way. Then there was all of her sons who were all either married, engaged, or in a serious relationship, which meant even more grandchildren. (Molly _did _want at least twenty four grandchildren.) Molly was also very happy because she'd get Hermione for anther daughter, which she had always imagined as a daughter, though Molly had originally imagined Hermione marrying Ron. (But Fred and Hermione made a better couple than Ron and Hermione ever did. It was quite apparent. And Molly liked Margaret too, no matter how, ehm, _different_ she was.)

But anyway. Molly was absolutely overjoyed at everything. Especially since there was going to be a party in honour of all the good news. Parties made Molly happy.

Ginny and the two new Potters came home on September 21, two days after Evan and Bryrony were born. Harry had spent all his time either at St. Mungo's with Ginny and their children or preparing their house better for their arrival. Harry was crazed, but in a good way.

As soon as the three Potters were safely home, Ginny and Harry invited Fred, Hermione, Ron and Margaret for dinner. It was a godparents dinner.

Ron was absolutely over the moon that he had been chosen to be Evan's godfather.

"Ron, I know you'll be great at being Evan's godfather," Harry had said. "You've been my best mate for half my life and I trust you immensely."

"Thanks Harry. You've no idea how much this means to me," Ron had said, giving Harry a man-hug. "And you too Gin. You're lucky Bryrony and Evan both have got your nose."

"Of course Ron," Ginny said warmly. "You were always my favourite brother."

Ginny gave Ron a kiss on the cheek.

"What about me?" Fred had asked.

"Oh, you're my favourite too," Ginny had laughed.

"And Margaret," Harry continued, "even if this wanker _never_ proposes to you, you'll always be Evan's godmother. You fit the bill perfectly."

Ron had reddened instantly at the word "propose."

Margaret smiled. She'd never been a godmother before!

"Harry, Ginny, thank you so much! It's an honor to be little Evan's godmother. He's so cute!" Margaret gushed.

"And Hermione and Fred," Ginny said pausing. She looked at Hermione. "Mione, you already know that I asked you to be Bryrony's godmother being my best friend and, no doubt, you've already told Fred. It would be our pleasure for the two of you to be Bryrony's godparents."

Hermione and Fred had eagerly accepted.

So Bryrony Marie and Evan Michael Potter had godparents now. All they needed was a party in their honour. Hosted by Molly Weasley, that is.

And that is what happened, though Molly had decided it would be an engagement party as well for her sons, Percy and Fred. It was logical: why not hit two birds with one stone? (Though, technically, it was six, counting Percy, Penelope, Fred, Hermione, Bryrony and Evan, which equals six.)

On September 25, the loads of people that Molly had invited congregated at the Potter's home, "The Glade," a fifteen minute walk from the Burrow.

Here's a short list of some of the party-goers (skip if you need): all the Weasleys, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin, four-year-old Teddy Lupin, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, Dean Thomas, Lavender Brown-Thomas, Michael Corner, Parvati Patil-Corner, Cho Chang, Seamus Finnigan, Angelina Johnson, Oliver Wood, Katie Bell, Lee Jordan, David and Jane Granger, Mr. and Mrs. Clearwater, Minerva McGonagall, Rubeus Hagrid, and Poppy Pomfrey.

Yes. Only a few people.

There was a lot of food. Molly had had a field day, as had her happy helpers, Dobby and another house-elf named Dilly, courtesy of Weasley Wizarding Whizzes.

Evan and Bryrony, nearly a week old, were giggling and gurgling and crying as they were passed around from person to person. Ginny and Harry had eventually had enough of people putting their filthy hands on their darling babies and put them in the nursery to sleep.

Now, the adult party/ies could begin.

Fred and Hermione were asked over and over and over how they got engaged, and over and over and over, Fred and Hermione told the tale. By the twenty-seventh time, they had it down pat: They'd gone to dinner at _Mystique_ and got halfway through their dinner when Ginny's baby Galleon sounded; she was in labour. So, Fred and Hermione had left _Mystique_ abruptly and Apparated to St. Mungo's. They got to Ginny's room and saw all the Weasleys (minus Fleur, Alicia, and the children); it was eleven o'clock at night. Everyone except Arthur, Molly, Harry, Fred, and Hermione were kicked out by Ginny. Twelve hours later, Ginny was about to give birth and Fred proposed to Hermione. And then he fainted after seeing Bryrony's head. And, of course, Hermione had said 'yes.'

Everyone got a kick out of that story. And obviously, after hearing it, they wanted to know when the wedding was. Most people had expected to hear an "I don't know," but then again, most of them hadn't heard Hermione propose at the trial in February; they'd been planning since then.

"January first," was their immediate answer.

"January first, 2004?" was the general follow-up question.

"No, January first, 2003," was their final answer.

They were planning on getting married in a little more than three months.

No pressure.

* * *

**AN: Another end to another chapter. Wow. **

**Quote: **

Love is the heart of the soul.  
-- _Robert Paul _

**Up next: Bachelor and bachlorette parties! Woohoo!**


	24. Chapter 24

**AN: The Bachelor and Bachlorette parties, just as planned. **

**Be ware: VERY LONG. (At least compared to my other chapters.)**

**Enjoy! R & R!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron**

* * *

_Chapter 24: The Basic Spelling Every Woman Ought to Know_

_Light Up the Sky_

They had done it. They had gotten their wedding planned in less than three months. (Not that that was such a problem; they had been brainstorming for eight months.) And it was December 31st already.

It was time for their bachelor and bachlorette parties.

Now, it should be common knowledge that a true bachelor and/or bachlorette party involves alcohol, lingerie and food. Fred and Hermione's parties entailed all these certain things.

Fred had decided to let his twin, George, make all the arrangements for his bachelor party. He knew George would do his last day of bachelor-dom justice, just as Fred had done for him.

So, on December thirty-first, the males participating in the festivities (Arthur, Bill, Charlie, Percy – the prick, Ron, Harry, Lee Jordan, Oliver Wood, George, and, of course, Fred) met up at Fred and Hermione's flat at five pm; cocktail hour.

"Fred, you're going to love what I've planned for you. No doubt about that," George said.

"I certainly hope so," Fred said back.

"Oi, George, where're we going?" a very excited Lee Jordan asked.

"You'll see, Lee. Don't you worry," was George's reply.

Once all the guests were ready, George gathered them all around a light bulb.

"A light bulb?" Fred questioned.

"Yeah. A light bulb. I thought it was cool," George replied, picking it up and examining it above his head.

"Oh. I thought you were trying to be clever, like this party of yours is a bright idea."

George didn't get it. You could tell by his blank expression.

"Oh, never mind. It's a Muggle thing Hermione told me about."

George and everyone else nodded as if they knew what Fred was talking about. (Minus Harry, of course; he actually did know what Fred was talking about.)

"Well, anyway, this light bulb is a portkey. It will take us all to our destination in twenty seconds," George said, placing it on the nearby table. "Take hold."

So, the ten men found an empty place to put a finger to the light bulb, and twenty seconds later, they were at their final destination.

Merlin's Hideaway.

It was a wizard's club.

"Damn George! I'm having you plan my bachelor party whenever it is that I get married," Lee said.

Arthur cleared his throat a little and Percy flushed a tad, adjusting his glasses in front of his dilated eyes.

"George, you certainly outdid yourself," Fred said amazed, as he watched a pretty blonde onstage do something that requires a good amount of flexibility and dexterity. Fred sobered up a little. "All of you are sworn to secrecy about this bachelor party, for your information. If Mione found out, we wouldn't be able to have children. Or rather, I wouldn't."

Oliver snickered.

Fred turned towards him. "Do you want me to tell Katie?"

Oliver paled considerably and quieted as Fred mentioned his fiancé.

"I thought not."

"Well, let's get to it then," Charlie said, clapping a hand on Fred and Ron's back.

Ron managed to squeak out a little giggle.

"What are you laughing about?" Bill asked, hearing the high pitched noise that was emitted from Ron's mouth.

"Nothing," Ron stuttered, turning red.

"Damn, I should take Hermione here," Fred wondered out loud, completely contradicting his earlier statement about swearing everyone to secrecy so that Hermione _wouldn't _find out about this.

"Son, was that meant to be heard by all of us?" Arthur asked his son.

"Did I say that out loud?" Fred choked. (He obviously was very uncomfortable about that. I mean, it was his family that heard that.)

George took them to the back room. It had a perfect view of the stage. And everything on it.

Fred sat at the head of the table.

"Gentlemen, take a seat," a very beautiful woman dressed in what looked like five small lace doilies said.

Doily-woman walked over to Fred in her five inch heels.

"Is there anything I can get you boys?" she asked, bending over a little.

"Lots of firewhiskey, miss," George said.

"Alright then. I'll be back. And the name's Roxie."

Roxie winked at Ron before he burst into a fit of giggles.

"Roxie! Roxie Boxie. Foxie Boxie," Ron said before he burst into another fit of giggles.

"D'you know that bird?" Lee asked.

"Know her? She's Margaret's sister. Her fraternal twin actually; Roxie's older. Roxanne and Margaret Box. Well, she's not a Box anymore since she got married four months ago."

"And she still works here?" Arthur asked, trying to pay attention to his sons and not the other gender in the room.

"Yeah. Her husband owns the place with his brother. But, she only does the waitressing," Ron said matter-o'-factly.

The Weasley men 'ahhed,' now completely understanding the situation. Harry, Oliver, and Lee just got blank expressions on their faces. (It's not that they didn't understand, they just didn't think the explanation deserved any 'ahs,' or whatever. It wasn't worthy.)

"So, Roxie taught Margaret all she knows?" Harry asked, not intending to be suggestive.

"No, Margaret taught Roxie."

(Ron didn't get what he'd just revealed to his dad, brothers and friends until Fred whispered it to him when he wondered why everyone was laughing at him.)

Enough banter! On to the real fun and games.

The bachelor party was having quite a lot of fun. First of all, they had alcohol, and lots of it. Second of all, they had scantily clad woman dancing around them and serving them. And third of all, they had "man" food, whatever the hell that was.

Fred, being the man of honour at this party, got a lap dance from a very well-endowed Swede named Svetlana. Or maybe she was German? Or Russian? Who knows?! (Who cares?!)

Lee, on request from the as-good-as-drunk bachelor Fred, also got a lap dance. He was somewhat dazed afterwards. The alcohol very well might have had a little influence as well.

Anyway, these men at Merlin's Hideaway were having a bloody wonderful time.

Let's look and see what it was like at the bachlorette party.

Now Ginny, being Hermione's best friend, thought it quite appropriate for her to arrange the bachlorette party. So, that's what she did.

Ginny had sent out invitations and everyone she'd invited had replied with a "yes, I'm coming."

Seeing that Fred's bachelor party was meeting up at Fred and Hermione's flat, Hermione's invitees (Jane Granger, Molly, Ginny (duh), Luna, Fleur, Nadia, Alicia, Angelina, Katie, Margaret, Lavender, and Parvati) gathered at the Potter's home, the Glade. (Evan and Bryrony were with a babysitter, as well as Adelie, Andre, Armelle, Aurelie, Cea, and George and Alicia's two month old daughter Abena.)

"Oh, Hermione, this is so exciting! You're getting married!" Lavender Brown-Thomas squealed. "Married life is amazing. Like, it really is. You've no idea. Except when your husband decides that he likes hearing about a Quidditch match more than your day at work and he doesn't have the time to even appreciate the wonderful meal you've made and –"

"That's enough venting Lav," Parvati said, sympathetically patting Lavender's hand. "But really. It's great."

"It only gets better darling," Jane Granger told her daughter.

Molly nodded in agreement with her new best friend Jane.

Ginny decided then that it was high time to head to their final destination.

"Alright ladies. We shall be going in a few moments," Ginny said, grabbing a very high high heel off the table it had been sitting on. "This is our portkey. It will activate in thirty seconds, so everyone take hold."

Thirty seconds later, the group of women were whisked to an _interesting_ place that involved male dancers that were very fit.

Molly gasped. Jane gasped.

"A wizarding Chippendales?" Jane murmured.

"Ginny! You didn't!" Hermione cried.

Ginny giggled. "Welcome to Morgana's Secret, ladies!"

"Hey, I went here for my bachlorette party too!" Alicia cried. "Well, for one of my bachlorette parties," she amended, looking at Katie and Angelina.

Ginny snapped her fingers and five shirtless and very good looking wizards appeared in front of the women.

"Hello boys. We're the Granger bachlorette party," Ginny said.

The man that seemed to be the "leader" stepped up. "Which one of you lovely women is the lucky lady who is getting married?"

Ginny pushed Hermione forward. "She is."

"Well then, your chariot awaits you."

The leader backed away to reveal, indeed, a chariot that was being held up by four very strong wizards.

"Oh my god," was all Hermione could say as the leader effortlessly lifted her up into the chariot.

The man-powered chariot smoothly brought Hermione to the back room, the special bachlorette area. The rest of the bachlorette party followed the men carrying the chariot like puppies. (Even Jane and Molly.)

The leader, whose name apparently was Carlisle, took their drink orders. They ordered a lot of alcohol, and they didn't just order the wizarding kind, but the Muggle kind.

Being women, the guests had decided that they would buy Hermione wedding presents. Hermione had insisted that they not give her anything, but Ginny gave them the go-ahead. After all, it was Ginny's bachlorette party _for_ Hermione.

So, after five or six rounds and a few strip teases and dances, Ginny decided that Hermione should open her gifts.

"Oooh oooh! I want to go first!" Lavender cried as she pulled a small little package from her bag. She grabbed her wand and took the spell off of it. It grew three times its size. "Here you go Hermione. I hope you like it and that it works quite efficiently."

Lavender's smile was so wide, and almost fake-looking, it made Hermione wonder if it hurt her face and _why_ she was smiling so big.

The package was wrapping in an embossed ivory wrapping paper. Very wedding-ish. Whatever the package held, it was kind of large and heavy; it was rectangular shaped. Like a book. But what book could Lavender Brown-Thomas _possibly_ be giving Hermione that she didn't already have?

Hermione smiled hesitantly at Lavender before slowly tearing the wrapping paper off.

It most certainly was a book. But not any book Hermione had ever thought of buying for herself.

"The _Mystical Witch_ special edition of the _Kama Sutra_," Hermione said slowly.

"You'll love it!" Lavender giggled.

Hermione looked at Ginny. Ginny's eyes were wide. Ginny mouthed to Hermione, "Oh my god."

Hermione looked back at Lavender and tried to hide her utter amusement and shock. "Thank you Lavender. I'm sure this will be a very…stimulating read."

Hermione was trying so hard not to laugh. Not to mention Ginny. And Alicia, Angelina, Katie, Nadia, Fleur, Luna, Molly, and Jane. Parvati was nodding, completely agreeing with Lavender. Margaret was sort of looking into space.

"I have one myself, and let me say, it's interestingly satisfying," Parvati said. "Lav gave it to me for my bachlorette party and it has done wonders."

Parvati paused, looked so very serious. Suddenly, her face did a 180. She rummaged through her own bag and brought out a package of her own.

Once she took the spell off of it, it was much larger than the _Kama Sutra_. It was longer and thinner, and by the looks of it, it could've been a game. A board game. But what kind of board game? Hermione had no bloody clue.

"Wow. It looks like a board game!" Jane said. "Hermione, darling, maybe it's Parcheesi!"

"I don't think it is, Mum, but there's always a possibility," Hermione said laughing.

So, as Hermione was removing its shiny gold wrappings, Hermione couldn't help but go through all the board games it could be.

And when all the paper was gone, Hermione was _very_ surprised.

"_Strip Chocolate: An Imaginative Board Game_."

Parvati squealed. "Read the instructions on the back!"

Hermione turned the board game over, wondering why why why.

"'Everybody wins when you and a partner play this delicious game. Draw a Strip card and remove a piece of clothing. Draw a Chocolate card and paint a design on your partner. Additional Dare and Favor cards up the ante – and the fun! Comes with chocolate body frosting, dice, paintbrushes. Great gift for a honeymoon or romantic getaway. For two adult players.' Well, this should be very interesting as well. Thank you Parvati."

"Oh, Hermione, please open mine next," Jane asked her daughter. "I think you'll appreciate it very much."

Jane got the bag that she had brought with her. It was a pretty large bag and quite heavy. It was a shiny silver colour with golden rings and golden bells and red lips and bright white doves all over it. Very wedding-oriented.

Hermione gladly took it. She pulled out the tissue paper on top and stuck her hand into the bag.

She brought out five books.

_Otherwise Engaged: A Novel_ by Suzanne Finnamore. _For Better, for Worse: A Novel_ by Carole Matthews. _Hitched: The Go-Girl Guide to the First Year of Marriage_ by Julia Bourland. _I Like Being Married: Treasured Traditions, Rituals, and Stories_ by Michael Leach. And lastly, a journal: _The Marriage Journal of Jane Elizabeth (Harrison) Granger_.

Hermione looked to her mother and saw that her eyes were teary.

"Thank you, Mum. I think these were just what I needed," Hermione said as she stood up and walked over to her mother to give her a huge hug.

"I knew that I was eventually going to have a child when I said yes to your father, and I always hoped I'd have a daughter so I could give it to her. And if I didn't have a daughter, I'd give it to my daughter-in-law so she could give it to her daughter, and so on and so forth. I'm just glad that I get to give it to you."

Hermione was tearing up at her mother's words.

"Thank you so much Mum. You have no idea how much this means to me. I love you so much."

And so, Hermione and her mum, Jane Granger, got their perfect mother-daughter moment. Hermione couldn't have asked for anything better, and neither could Jane.

Hermione and Jane took their seats again after drying their eyes and a few more hugs.

Then, Hermione was given another gift from Margaret.

"Seeing that books were a common thing to get you, I also got you one. It's a little different from the others, seeing that it isn't the _Kama Sutra_, no matter how useful that is, or some amusing fiction, or a wonderfully insightful journal from your mother on her marriage experiences, but rather, something very silly from me. It's my personal ethics about keeping any relationship work and such," Margaret said, handing Hermione a green leather-bound journal. "It has quotes, and things of my own creation that should be in the _Kama Sutra_, and little pick-me-ups, and funny drawings and cartoons I've collected over the years. I'd never found anyone special enough to give it to, but then I met you. I thought you were the perfect candidate."

Hermione was in awe. "Margaret, that is so very sweet of you! Thank you so much! I don't think I could have ever been that creative."

"It's nothing. My family says I have a certain knack for being different. But before you read any of it, I need to put one last quote in it. It's my favourite, which I happened to have forgotten to put in."

Hermione handed Margaret the book and Margaret quickly wrote the quote on the inside cover. Margaret handed it back to Hermione with it open.

"'_A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's the basic spelling that every woman ought to know_,'" Hermione delivered.

Every person present in the room sighed in contentment, reveling about every kiss they'd ever had. The quote was so very true.

"That is a lovely quote," Molly said thoughtfully. She would have to speak with Ron about when he was deciding to propose to Margaret.

A few minutes passed before anyone else spoke. Then Alicia, Katie and Angelina thought it was their turn to present Hermione with her present.

"Seeing that we aren't at all creative, we decided we pull our money and get you something exquisite. I think Fred would appreciate it," Angelina spoke for the three of them.

Alicia handed Hermione a very light and plain-looking white cardboard box. Only one thing came to Hermione's mind: lingerie.

And oh, was she right.

And oh, did it make her uncomfortable.

There was a very small scarlet lacy _thing_ that didn't look like it could leave very much to the imagination at all (not that that was the point) and there was a bra and panties set in the same material. Oh, and a black silk robe, that went only mid-thigh.

"Well, thank you," Hermione said after a few moments. "It was certainly what I was expecting to find. I'm thinking that Fred _will_ be very happy."

"I have one very similar," Katie quickly said. She was marrying Oliver in a few months, after all.

Hermione laughed as Katie blushed a little. Before long, everyone else was laughing.

Randomly, the very-quiet-until-now Luna spoke up.

"How many children are you and Fred planning on having, Hermione?" Luna asked.

Hermione looked to Luna and smiled. "That is a very good question, Luna. I'm surprised no one else asked that question. Fred and I have decided that we do not want any more than seven children. Seeing that Molly has successfully raised seven children, it couldn't be that difficult."

"Well then, I think you'll appreciate my present. It will protect you from cumilinksees [coom-ih-link-seize. They steal fertility, you know."

Hermione's eyes got wide and her face protested a she tried so very hard not to laugh.

Luna handed her a small jewelry box that had been wrapped in an issue of the Quibbler.

Hermione opened the box to find a pearl painted red with brown-coloured feathers stuck to it. It had a smell very similar garlic.

"Thank you Luna. I – I think it shall be very useful."

Luna smiled, pleased with Hermione's gratefulness.

"Just stick it under your bed, still in the box, and you'll be safe. And I got you something else. Something just for you."

Luna handed Hermione another box. Hermione opened it to find a beautiful pearl bracelet with blue diamonds.

"Luna! This is gorgeous, but you shouldn't have spent so much on me! These are very rare blue diamonds!"

"Well, I should have since you were kind enough to let me be the Vice President of S.P.E.W. And you happen to be a lovely boss and friend."

Hermione embraced Luna. "Well, then, thank you very much."

Fleur finally spoke. "Vell, seeing that you are now goeeng to be my seester-een-law, I got you someting very Weasley."

Fleur passed Hermione two squishy packages, one small and one large. In them, Hermione found something very Weasley indeed: a pair of red, hand-knitted socks and a matching sweater, with a golden 'H.'

"I made vem myself. I 'ope you like them. Molly has been teaching me."

"Fleur, that was so very kind of you. I've tried knitting before, and it is certainly not easy. I love the sweater and the socks. You can never have too many socks. Thank you very much," Hermione said sincerely.

Hermione gave Fleur a kiss on each cheek (like those French do). Fleur was absolutely beaming at Hermione's praise.

Nadia finally decided to give Hermione her gift.

"Being Romanian, you know, we have goats. So, using my muzzer's fasher's seester's niece's goats, I made you these."

Nadia gave Hermione a basket filled with lotions and creams and soaps.

"They vill make your skeen very soft. And I put some magic in ze products so you will smell very nice. Fred will like it very much, and you will too."

"Nadalyna! Thank you! I'm sure I'll love them," Hermione said before giving Nadia a big hug.

It was now Molly's turn to give her soon-to-be daughter-in-law her gift.

When Molly pulled out her wrapped present, Hermione could just tell it was some type of book.

"I hope you like it Hermione. I thought very hard about this."

"I'm sure I will Mrs. – Molly," Hermione assured her.

Hermione tore off the wrappings to find, indeed, a book.

A very special book.

It was a photo album. Of Fred.

"Oh my gosh," Hermione whispered.

"I thought you would have liked to see Fred and how he grew up to be the man he is today. I've also got something else for you."

Molly brought out another present.

Hermione opened it, too, to find another photo album. But it was empty.

Molly pulled out her wand and tapped the cover of the album.

It magically transformed. Instead of the moldy green colour it was, it was now a creamy ivory with lace trimmings. On the front cover, it said "Fred and Hermione's Wedding Memories."

"This was really from your mother and I, since we thought it was appropriate."

"Thank you! I hadn't even thought of having an album dedicated to our wedding! Thank you so much Molly and Mum!"

Hermione was just overjoyed. She couldn't ask for any better friends and family.

"Thank you so much everyone for coming and just being here for me," Hermione said to her party.

"Don't think you're done just yet, Hermione Jean Granger, soon-to-be Weasley," Ginny said. "You have yet to see what I got you!"

Hermione almost dreaded hearing this. She loved Ginny to death, but she had no idea what to expect when Ginny had surprises. Generally, they were crazy and over-the-top. But that was Ginny.

Ginny placed in front of Hermione a very large box. A clothing-type box. A box that stores put clothes in when it's a gift.

Oh dear god.

That was all Hermione thought when she saw what was in the box.

Hermione looked straight at and glared. Her glare seemed to say "What the bloody hell were you thinking! I don't think I'll EVER wear this!"

"Come on Hermione! Bring it out; we'd like to see what Ginny got you!" Lavender said.

"Oh, yes please. We'd like to see," Parvati said.

"We're all married women," Alicia said. "Except for Katie, Angelina and Margaret, but Katie's close."

"Yeah, there's nothing we can't take," Angelina said.

_It's not what _you _can take, but what I can_, Hermione thought to herself.

So, hesitantly, Hermione brought out the thing.

It was possibly skimpier and lacier and racier than everything that Alicia, Angelina, and Katie had given her. And the fact that it was _white_ almost made it worse.

"Don't you like it Hermione?" Ginny asked.

"Sure," Hermione said. But secretly, she thought, _Sure I would, if I was a hooker._

"You know, Fred will love it. He's apart of the male species. He's bound to," Margaret said.

That was one of most normal things Hermione had ever heard Margaret say; she knew it had to be true.

"But –"

"No buts, Mione. To make you feel better, let's ask this table of your friends and family who owns or, at one point, has owned something very similar to this bridal lingerie," Ginny said before looking at each person present. "For those who have, raise your hand."

Ginny raised her hand. So did Fleur, Nadia and Alicia, and Lavender and Parvati, and Margaret and Luna, and Angelina and Katie. Even Molly and Jane!

Hermione wasn't really surprised. And it wasn't that she didn't like it, she just didn't feel comfortable with her mother knowing about her intimate apparel.

But hey, now they knew, and there wasn't anything Hermione could do about it. She would just have to wear it and surprise Fred. (Because he certainly would be surprised.)

Nevertheless, the party continued. More alcohol and dancing and visits from the men working at Morgana's Secret. It was all good.

And then it was almost midnight. The Carlisle-the-very-sexy-dancer at Morgana's Secret told the bachlorette party that there were going to be spectacular fireworks to bring in the New Year. So, seeing that this news excited the filled-to-the-brim-with-alcohol women, they rushed out of Morgana's in their stilettos out to the snowy sidewalk.

At the same time that the women were being told of the fireworks display, Roxie Knocklehurst (formerly known as Roxie Boxie) told the bachelor party about the extravagant fireworks to bring in the New Year. So, since this news excited these filled-to-the-brim-with-alcohol men, they stampeded out of Merlin's into the snow.

And lo' and behold…

Hermione walked out into the snow and ran into Fred who screamed like a girl in surprise.

"Fred!"

"Hermione!"

They were both very surprised to see each other on this night on this street.

"How was your party?" they asked at the same exact time.

"Good," they both answered laughing.

Then the crowd that had just formed in a matter of moments began counting down. You could hear the roar of "forty-nine" echoing down the street.

"You were at Merlin's, weren't you?" Hermione said suddenly, a huge smile on her face.

"Yes. And you were at Morgana's, correct?" Fred said, grinning just as widely.

"I was. It was fun and entertaining."

"So was Merlin's."

"I can imagine."

"You know how much I love you, right?"

"Of course I do. You love me to the end of the universe and back an infinity amount of times."

"And you love me to the end of the universe and back an infinity amount of times."

Fred and Hermione were standing face to face, Hermione looking up into Fred's handsome face.

The crowd screamed "twelve."

Hermione smiled and Fred smiled and they took each others hands. They looked around and saw their friends and family huddled together, counting down to the New Year.

"Seven, six, five, four, three!"

"I love you," they told each other as the crowd got to 'two.'

On 'one,' the sky erupted with hundreds of fireworks and the sky was on fire.

Fred and Hermione kissed and kissed, christening the New Year with their love.

Fred wrapped his arms around Hermione and pointed to the sky.

In a spectacular red, it read 'I Will Light Up the Sky for You Hermione. Love Always, Fred.'

The only thing Hermione could do to Fred was kiss him.

* * *

**AN: The end. **

**I know. It was a little sappy and a little long (4373 words), but I know you loved every word of it. (Or at least I hope you did.)**

**R & R!**

**Quote(s):**

A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know.   
-- _Mistinguette __(as quoted in Theatre Arts, Dec 1955) _

Light Up the Sky taken from the song 'Light Up the Sky' by Yellowcard. **(I thought it was appropriate.)**


	25. Chapter 25

**AN: Oh Lord. Chapter 25 is finally here. Only the epilogue is left! Crazy, huh? **

**I'd love if everyone who really loves this to review! If not this chapter, then the epilogue. I want to see what your favourite part was, what you think I should've done, your ultimate favourite chapter, your favourite character (not counting Hermione or Fred), etc. I want to know all. **

**And I'm sorry this took so long. I do have a life you know!**

**R & R lovelies!**

**Enjoy!**

**Sincerely, **

**lovah of Ron

* * *

**

_Chapter 25: Expect a Masterpiece_

Hermione looked into her mirror and sighed a great sigh.

As she looked straight into the mirror, she said a few encouraging words to herself.

"I am going to marry Fredrick Nevan Weasley, the love of my life. I am going to be Mrs. Fred Weasley in a matter of minutes."

Hermione jumped out of the vanity chair she had been sitting in and did a little happy dance in her wedding dress.

Just then Ginny had conveniently walked in.

"You know, you could fall and rip your beautiful wedding dress by doing that little happy dance of yours," Ginny said, matter-of-factly.

Hermione, not quite realizing that Ginny was back in the room, did indeed trip and fall, but her beautiful dress was safe.

It was an ivory silk taffeta A-line gown, with a strapless draped bodice, and an empire sweetheart neckline accented with crystal beading and Chantilly lace, a natural waist, a low back, bow detail, and a chapel train. A Jim Hjelm original.

( I didn't rip it!" Hermione said as Ginny helped her up.

"Yes. I see that."

Hermione smiled triumphantly and sat back down in her chair to fix her hair.

Ginny stood behind her, fixing the back of her hair.

"Ginny, you know, that dress looks absolutely fabulous on you," Hermione commented. It was another Jim Hjelm original, a sky/French blue satin-faced taffeta strapless, princess style, floor-length gown with a dropped gathered skirt.

"I know. You have a knack for picking out bridesmaids dresses," Ginny agreed.

Then, Jane Granger bustled into the dressing room.

"Hermione, dear, you look amazing!" Jane crooned.

Hermione stood up and looked at her mother. "Thanks Mum. I feel amazing. And nervous and so many other emotions I can't even begin to explain."

"Then you know you're ready to get married," was all Jane told her daughter before running out.

Seconds later, Jane came back in. She looked a little crazed.

"It's time to go dear!"

And with that, Hermione put a sticking charm on her makeup and hair, stuck a few tissues down the front of her bodice (just in case), and donned her heels. Ginny fixed Hermione's train and pushed her out the dressing room door.

There, in the hallway, stood Hermione's father.

"Daddy," Hermione murmured.

"You look beautiful, Hermione," David Granger said, willing the tears that were threatening to spill to stop.

Hermione smiled at her father who was looking at her so lovingly.

Ginny gave Hermione a kiss on the cheek. "See you in there," she told Hermione, before going out the side door that led to the chapel next door.

Hermione's mother gave her a very tight hug. "You look beautiful, darling and Fred will absolutely die."

Hermione smiled.

"I'm very proud of you," Jane whispered before exiting the same way Ginny had moments ago.

"Are you ready, Hermione dear?" David asked his only daughter.

"Yes, Daddy. I think I am."

And so, David led his daughter to the back of the chapel, where the groomsmen and bridesmaids were waiting. Jane, Molly, and Arthur were already seated in the front pew of the chapel. Fred was standing at the alter with the reverend, anxiously waiting for his bride-to-be. Margaret and Lee were walking down the aisle together, followed by George and Ginny. Ginny had managed to turn around and wink at Hermione encouragingly.

Then Hermione was to walk down the aisle with her father.

Hermione looped her arm in her father's and held tightly to her bouquet of phalaenopsis orchids and took her first step down the aisle with her father.

The standard Muggle wedding march began and one hundred or so guests stood and turned to look at the beautiful and beaming bride.

Fred gasped at the sight of Hermione. She looked more beautiful than anything he had ever seen.

He smiled radiantly at Hermione.

Hermione glided down the aisle with her father. Upon reaching the alter, David Granger handed Hermione to Fred, gladly giving him a hug. Fred and Hermione grasped each other's hands.

Then, it was the reverend's turn to speak.

"Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam…" the reverend stopped and smiled. "I'm just kidding. Ladies and gentlemen, as you all must know, we are all so happily gathered together to witness one of the most important days in this young couple's life. Today is the day that Frederick Nevan Weasley and Hermione Jean Granger have chosen to unite themselves in holy matrimony. As custom in Muggle marriages, Fred and Hermione have decided to exchange personal vows, which they will now share with each other."

Fred laced his fingers with Hermione's and cleared his throat.

"As crazy as this may sound, I've known you for nearly half my life, but I've never gotten the chance to get to know you. That is, until that faithful day of days less than a year ago. That day ultimately changed my life.

"It was January 12, 2001. I was going to be meeting the journalist who would be living with me for a week in order to write about the "real me." Luckily, it happened to be you. Truth be told, that first day was trying, but after sleeping on it, I was quite excited. However, on the second day, a Wednesday I believe, somehow, we managed to make this assignment very complicated: we were stuck together with invisible handcuffs. And in the remaining days of our assignment, through the happy times, trying times, lying times, I managed to fall in love with you. It was the certainly the best part of it, no matter how unexpected it was, and it wasn't at all unwanted. I knew that last day of our assignment that I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with you. I'm just lucky that you agreed, because you truly made me a better person. From here on out, I owe everything to you. I love you with my whole heart Mione."

Molly and Jane, sitting in the front row, were sobbing into scraps of lace.

Hermione pulled a tissue from the front of her bodice and blew her nose. Ginny and Margaret giggled beside her.

"I promised myself I wasn't going to cry, but here I am, crying," Hermione laughed, wiping her eyes.

"Fred, love," Hermione began after composing herself, "when I'm with you, I'm a different person. Not in a bad way or anything like that, but I feel as though I am the best person I could be. I love that feeling, that reassurance. You make me feel complete.

"Though that assignment of ours was unorthodox and crazy, I've come to terms with that aspect of it because you too, are unorthodox and crazy. That is exactly why I love you.

"You've opened my eyes to so many new things and you have pushed me in all the right directions thanks to your persistence and loving nature. I have no idea what I would do without you. You are my other half. I love you wholly and completely."

Fred's eyes glistened, but he dared not shed a tear.

The reverend began. "As each of you present at this ceremony can see, Fred and Hermione are madly in love. However, if anyone present believes that these two should not be united in matrimony, speak now or forever hold your peace."

There was silence that filled the chapel, bouncing off the stain-glass windows.

The reverend sighed contentedly. "George, Ginny, do you have the rings?"

Ginny pulled the ring out of nowhere (most likely somewhere in her dress) as George pulled his ring from a hidden pocket.

George handed the ring to his twin.

Fred took the ring and slipped it onto Hermione's left ring finger.

"Do you, Frederick Nevan, take Hermione Jean to be your lawfully wedded wife, to cherish in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, and for all eternity?"

"I do," Fred said proudly, his eyes shining. "And do you, Hermione Jean, take Frederick Nevan to be your lawfully wedded husband, to cherish in sickness or in health, for richer or poorer, for better or worse, and for all eternity?"

Hermione sucked in her breath and gave a watery "I do."

"Then by the power of love, I declare you bonded for life."

The reverend pulled a wand out of his robes and about Fred and Hermione's heads, brandished it as one would a sword. A shower of silver stars fell upon them, spiraling around their entwined fingers.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Fred delicately took Hermione's face and placed upon her lips a kiss that melted her knees.

Above all the applause, the golden balloons way up above them burst with birds of paradise and tiny golden bells flying and floating, adding their own songs and chimes to the commotion.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Fred Weasley!"

Hermione and Fred practically ran down the aisle and Apparated away. Their guests didn't even get a chance to see them Apparate away.

Moments later, the newlyweds popped up in their bedroom.

They instantly ravaged each other.

Fred hastily unzipped Hermione's wedding dress and Hermione impatiently discarded Fred's tuxedo jacket, pants, bowtie, shirt, and so on, since he indeed was wearing one.

"Won't they miss us?" Hermione moaned as Fred kissed her neck.

"Oh not for fifteen minutes. George and Ginny will keep them occupied anyway."

And then they proceed to consummate their marriage.

Twenty or so minutes later, they were redressed and they took careful measures to make sure that they looked appropriate. After all, they didn't want their guests to know for certain what they had been doing up in their bedroom while everyone was out in the backyard since their disappearance from the chapel.

Feeling like wasting even more time, they made their way down to their backyard from their bedroom on the third floor, occasionally pausing to get a good snog in.

After nine minutes and forty-three seconds exactly, Hermione and Fred graced their guests with their presence. (Their guests were quite lucky. Fred and Hermione didn't want to, you must know.)

All of their guests were already patiently awaiting the newlyweds, sitting at tables or milling about, talking with other guests.

"Congratulations Fred and Hermione!" their guests cried as they walked into the magnificently decorated backyard.

It was lit with fairy-lights and the silver snow twinkled. The temperature was just right, due to the charms placed all around their lovely home. It felt like a warm spring day, despite being the first of January.

Ginny, of course, was the first to bombard Hermione and Fred, and obviously dragging along Harry. (Evan and Bryrony were with Molly and Arthur.)

"Hello lovebirds! Have a nice little getaway? I can only imagine," Ginny said, smiling hugely. "I must say, I had a fun time stalling while we all waited for your arrival."

Hermione blushed a little and Fred squeezed her hand.

"Yes, in fact, we did. Thank you," Hermione said, giving a secret smile.

"I remember our wedding. Couldn't wait to get rid of everyone. The second one obviously," Harry said, a remembering-look present on his face.

"Second? What second wedding? There was a first? You only got married once, didn't you?" Fred asked, a little perplexed.

Ginny turned a pale pink while Harry instantly flushed.

Hermione whispered to him, "I'll tell you later."

"Okay. Never mind. So what _did _you do to distract everyone?"

Ginny perked up that Fred dropped the subject (and that she didn't have to tell him about it later). "Oh Fred. You had to know that I would do something quite clever. George did help a bit, however. I sang a song, just an ordinary song, and George accompanied with a few explosions. And we didn't even practice beforehand. We just did it."

"It went off quite swimmingly," Harry admitted. "But, now that you're here, your duty as the bride and groom is to greet your guests," Harry said authoritatively.

"Yes, _father_," Hermione joked, sounding overly proper (you know what I'm talking about). "We'll go and greet our _marvelous_ guests. Come Mr. Weasley."

"Oh, yes certainly darling, Mrs. Weasley," Fred said, very amused at this little game.

And so, the newlyweds, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, met with every single guest; all 153 of them. (Not including the various Weasley offspring. That added about seven to the guest count.)

And then, they ate food.

And occasionally, throughout dinner, guests tapped their champagne flutes or rang the bells that were on each table, and Fred and Hermione had to kiss. Of course, they loved the fact that they could now publically show affection (you remember those couple of months or so where they were secretly dating, yeah?). However, oftentimes, they were eating, therefore, they were chewing the food that was in their mouth when these bells rang and the champagne flutes chimed. And this made Hermione a little unhappy since Fred constantly chewed with his mouth open. (But she forgave him every time.)

After all of this greeting and eating, the wedding party, minus Fred and Hermione obviously, decided that they wanted to make toasts. So, Fred, Ginny, Lee, Margaret, Ron, Angelina, Arthur, and David (Granger) made speeches.

David went first. He said that he was so glad to have found the perfect son-in-law. And he was perfect, because he _wasn't_ perfect. Somehow, he went off on a little tangent on teeth and orthodontia (you should get it: teeth, being perfect…oh never mind). But the wedding guests understood where he was coming from; a father wants only the best for his only daughter.

Then it was Arthur's turn. He talked about how he loved coming home to the Burrow and having Hermione there, because she was just so intelligent and level-headed; she kept all his boys in line. And now, he didn't have to keep Fred in line now that he was no longer a bachelor, but a married man.

Then George went.

He started off pretty slow, talking about how, as twins, that he and Fred shared everything and did everything together. That was who they were, twins. Eventually, they both realized that they'd go their own ways. They wouldn't do the exact same things anymore. That was apparent when George settled down with Alicia and Fred was dating a different girl every night. Then he fast forwarded to January 2001.

He mentioned that night that he, Alicia, Lee, Angelina, Katie and Oliver came over to get Fred and Hermione and take them to the Elf's Pixie. Lee had made references to Fred's "type" and how he received glares from all three girls, because they saw that Hermione was perfect for Fred due to her wit, intelligence, level-headedness and beauty. And then, later on, after the trial and everything else, after getting to know Hermione better, George realized that Hermione was his twin's soul mate.

George said how he learned to love Hermione as a sister and wished his twin and his bride only the best. And, not to mention, be blessed with many smart, trouble-making children.

The guests were so very delighted by George's very different aura, one that was created by being a family-man.

After George, it was Ginny's turn.

"Now, if you don't know about Hermione's obsession with the colour red, I'll tell you. When you ask Hermione her favourite colour, she will answer 'red.' If you ask her about her favourite pair of shoes, she'll tell you her red pumps. You ask her what her favourite outfit is, she'll say 'my red dress.' Favourite food – spaghetti; favourite fruit – apple; favourite vegetable – tomato. Okay, why anyone would have a favourite vegetable is beyond me, but Hermione Weasley does. The list can go on after that. But listen to this: when you ask her about her favourite red-headed Weasley, which is obviously redundant, she'll answer Fred, not me."

Most, if not all, of the guests laughed at this.

Ginny waited, pausing dramatically and smirking a bit.

"And you know what, I'm quite alright with that. First, I'm a Potter. Second, she happens to be madly in love with Fred. It just makes sense."

Then she finished up with loving words and best wishes.

Margaret went after Ginny. She began by saying that she wasn't a good public speaker because she tended to get off on a tangent and how she loves puppies and Kneazles and that _Remember the Titans_ and _The Princess Bride_ are her favourite movies and that chartreuse is a really ugly colour. But anyway. Margaret mentioned how she and Hermione bonded over their fondness of the Muggle band Cartel, and well as their connection to Ron. Then she mentioned how she actually saw the progress of Hermione and Fred's relationship, and how they truly fell in love. It was very fairytale-ish. She also said how she couldn't wait to see how their love would grow even more.

And, of course, she wished the newlyweds extreme happiness. And to refer to her special little book that Hermione received as a bridal party gift.

After Margaret, Lee decided that he'd try to say something eloquent (which could be a feat, considering he had had at least three glasses of champagne already).

And this is what Dear Lee the Eloquent said.

"You think you know a man. Then he goes and gets married."

There were a few chuckles as Lee downed the remainder of his champagne.

"Well, I want to get to know this married man. Weird, I know, but he very well may teach me something. I know I'm single and I don't want to end up alone."

Lee looked pointedly at Olivia, Hermione's third cousin, twice removed. She giggled. She found him extremely attractive and funny.

"Hermione, love, you're amazing. I wish you both loads of the best. Oh, and Hermione, d'you think you can find me a you?"

And with that, Lee sat down.

Okay, so Lee's speech certainly wasn't eloquent, but it was very sweet.

Angela decided that she should go after Lee.

"Fred, Hermione, just by looking at the two of you, you'd have to be blind if you can't see how in love you are. Fred, I love you like the brother I've never had, and Hermione, from what I know of you, I'm sure I'll love you. May you both be overwhelmed with many Weasley's in the future as well as experience amazing sex. May your love grow exponentially and never fade. Oh, and don't forget to send boxes and boxes of pictures from your honeymoon in Fiji."

Ron went last.

He told about how it's so crazy that his older brother married his best friend and former girlfriend, as well as how perfect they are together. He wished them all the best, like everyone else, and hoped that Fred and Hermione always remembered that he would be there for them.

The speeches were over. Hermione and Fred thanked their friends and family immensely. And it was time for the newlyweds' first dance as husband and wife.

Fred swept Hermione onto the floor before the song even began.

Slowly, an acoustic guitar begins playing.

It was the _Greatest Story Ever Told_.

_Thank you for this moment  
I've gotta say how beautiful you are  
Of all the hopes and dreams I could have prayed for  
Here you are_

Fred gently kissed Hermione as she wrapped her arms around her husband's neck.

"You're absolutely beautiful, Mione," he whispered.

Hermione blushed. "I love you Fred."

She rested her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat, tuning out the music. All she needed to hear was his heart.

_You know I never could explain  
The way I lost my heart to you  
that day  
but if destiny decided I should look the other way  
then the world would never know  
the greatest story ever told_

"You know, if it weren't for that assignment, we wouldn't be married right now and be completely in love. I might have still been a workaholic and killing myself slowly and you might have been wasting away with all of those girls. But, this is destiny."

"Truly the greatest story ever told," Fred added before giving a laugh. "I hate being cliché!"

"That's okay. Hating being cliché is cliché in itself!"

_I don't hear the music  
When I'm looking in your eyes  
But I feel the rhythm of your body  
Close to mine  
It's the way we touch, it soothes me  
It's the way we'll always be _

Hermione looked up into Fred's handsome face and couldn't help but smile.

Fred caressed Hermione's face lovingly, feeling the sense of wholeness, that oneness.

_And if I lived a thousand years  
You know I never could explain  
The way I lost my heart to you  
that day  
but if destiny decided I should look the other way  
then the world would never know  
the greatest story ever told  
and did I tell you that I love you  
just how much I really need you  
did I tell you that I love you tonight_

"I love you Hermione Weasley."

"And I love you, Fred Weasley," Hermione replied, kissing her husband. Her _husband_.

The song ended and the father of the bride stepped in. Fred found his mother and he spun her onto the dance floor.

Father and daughter; mother and son, dancing to _Because You Loved Me_ by Celine Dion.

After those special dances, the rest of the guests joined the newlyweds and the father of the bride and mother of the groom and began dancing to "Honestly" by Cartel, obviously. And after that, various other types of music.

They played games too!

They did the Limbo. Hermione won.

The played Musical Chairs. Hermione won.

And then, they had the Garter Toss and Bouquet Toss, before the cake, but after mush champagne.

Fred removed Hermione's garter with his teeth (naughty boy) and Ron caught it.

Hermione then threw her bouquet and Margaret caught it.

Ron put Hermione's garter on Margaret, who giggled the entire time.

(If that wasn't big enough of a hint for Ron to propose to Margaret, he was truly an idiot.)

Then, they ate really good cake.

It was a three tier cake with white frosting and tangerine-coloured roses. On the top tier, under a white sugar trellis, there was a mini- Fred and Hermione, perfect dow to the last detail.

They cut the cake and it was a picture perfect moment. Fred and Hermione fed each other their cake civilly, and neither "missed" the other's mouth.

Eventually, after hours more of good wedding fun, the guests were weeding out. So much, that only immediate family as well as a few really close friends (i.e.: Lee, Angelina, Luna, Neville, Katie, Oliver and Hermione's relative Olivia) were left.

They all sat around and talked and talked about how exciting their life would now be.

Around midnight, Fred and Hermione insisted everyone to go home. They either made them Apparate or Floo (if they weren't in any condition to Apparate or were a Muggle).

So, George and Alicia Flooed home with a peacefully sleeping Abena. Ginny and Harry Apparated with Evan and Bryrony. Ron and Margaret Flooed. Bill and Fleur managed to gather their brood, half completely out and the rest half awake, and Flooed home. Charlie, Nadia, and a sleeping Cea Flooed to the Burrow with Moll, Arthur, Jane and David. Percy and Penelope Apparated home, completely sober. Lee took the Floo so he could bring Olivia home with him. Katie and Oliver Apparated home, sloshed, but managed not to splinch themselves. Angelina Apparated home alone, while Luna and Neville Apparated back to their flat.

"Thank God! They're all gone!" Hermione cried as Neville and Luna finally left. She turned and looked at her husband.

Fred scooped her up, bridal style.

"So, Mrs. Weasley, shall we Floo to Fiji now or wait until the morning?"

"Well, Mr. Weasley," Mrs. Weasley said, kissing her husband, "it happens to already be morning and I would love to have my way with you in Fiji."

"Fiji it is then!" Mr. Weasley cried, Apparating them to their bedroom, from whence they gathered their luggage and Flooed to their hotel in Fiji.

Hermione Weasley immediately slinked off into the bathroom with a rather plain looking box.

"I'll be right back love. Get ready for me," she told Fred.

"Will do!" he said eagerly.

It seemed that Hermione was in the loo for _eternity_, but she finally came out. Fred's eyes almost popped out of his face.

She was wearing Ginny's present. (You know: lacy, white, skimpy to the max.)

"Mrs. Weasley, I must say, you look ravishing," Fred managed to say.

"Well Mr. Weasley, do with me as you please," Hermione responded.

Fred simply could not resist. His wife was irresistible.

And so, the madly in love couple made love in Fiji into the wee hours of the morning, as couples oftentimes do (but not always in Fiji).

"Oh, and Fred, I have a book!"

"Oh, what kind of book?"

"A really stimulating book!"

"Stimulating?"

"Yes, stimulating."

"Does it involve a lot of reading?"

"No."

"Oh, it's _that_ kind of book!"

"That's why I fell in love with you! You're so smart!"

"Not to mention irresistible! Can't forget irresistible!"

"No, definitely not!"

As they say, love is an irresistible desire.

* * *

**AN: OMFG! 4242 words. I only have the epilogue left! GASP!**

**R & R, my lovelies! I **_**need**_** to know what you think!**

**Song: **_Greatest Story Ever Told_ **sung by **Oliver James.

**As always, here is the quote:**

When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece.

-- _John Ruskin _


	26. Chapter 26

**AN: My goodness gracious. It's been a long time coming, but it's finally finished! I just can't believe it, can you? **

**Being my **_**lovely **__**lovely**_** readers and reviewers, I would love it ****e****ve****ryone who really loves this to review****! This, after all is the epilogue and the end of FreMione. ****I****'d like**** to see what your favourite part was, what you think I should've done, your ultimate favourite chapter, your favourite character (not counting Hermione or Fred), etc. I want to know all. **

**And, again, I'm sorry it has taken so long to update. **

**But please ****please**** please…R & R lovelies!**

**ENJOY! **

**Sincerely, **

**lovah**** of Ron**

**PS: **_**I am so very grateful to all of my readers and reviewers! I owe it all to you for continuing**__** (and finishing)**__** this story! Thank you!**_

_**

* * *

**_

_Chapter 26: Life is a Painting (Epilogue)_

"Fred! No! Ah!" Hermione squealed as she tried to get away from her husband.

He managed to grab her around her waist and kiss her.

"You can't get away from me that easily!" Fred said.

"I know, love, I know, but I promised I'd write Ginny at least once," Hermione pleaded.

"Alright," Fred conceded. "Five minutes. But I expect you on our balcony in no more than five minutes. That's it."

Fred kissed Hermione.

"I know. Five minutes," she said, rushing to the desk and pulling out a piece of parchment.

_Dear Ginny, _

_Fiji is bloody amazing. I'm so sorry that this letter is so short, but Fred gave me a time limit. _

_I hope everything is good in England. How are Bryrony and Evan fairing with the dreary cold? How's Harry? __And Molly and Arthur?__ And how about my mum and – _

Hermione stopped writing for a moment when she heard Fred call to her.

"You have a minute and a half left! Write fast!"

_– my__ dad?_

_There's not much more to say other than that the weather is fabulous. _

_I must end this very brief letter and head to the balcony where Fred is waiting for me. _

_Miss you!_

_XOXO_

_Mione_

Hermione whistled to her owl Mopsie and she came.

"Take this letter to Ginny."

And then she headed to the balcony.

A few hours later, Hermione's letter arrived at the Potters'.

After reading it, Ginny Potter sighed.

Her husband, Harry Potter, heard her.

"Gin, is something wrong?"

"Oh, no. I just got a letter from Hermione. She says Fiji is bloody amazing, but I don't think she's seeing much of it."

Harry walked over to where his wife was sitting and stood behind her.

"No, I don't suppose they would," he said, massaging her shoulders. "You know, the twins are asleep."

Ginny didn't need any persuading.

**A little less than a year later, First Anniversary – January 1, 2003:**

Laying in bed, completely spent, Hermione snaked her arm across her husband's torso. Fred kissed his wife's head lovingly.

"Aren't you glad we got married on a holiday?"

"Of course. We automatically get the day off. But what I can't believe that we've been married a year!"

"Neither can I, Mione. Neither can I. It feels like an eternity!"

"That's a good thing, right?" she asked, playing with the hair at the base of his neck.

"Absolutely. And I can't wait to spend the rest of eternity with you."

"Good. Cause you've got me for eternity, Mr. Weasley," Hermione sang, smiling. She kissed him lovingly.

Fred groaned and traced circles in his wife's back. "Can you believe how much has happened in a little more than a year? You've finished your so-called "internship" and now you are a full-fledged Healer. Weasley Wizarding Whizzes has quadrupled its earnings in six months, half of which was donated to the new maternity and prenatal wing at St. Mungo's, of which you have accepted to become Head Healer. We've written and just recently finished publishing that bloody ridiculous book about our "secret liaison" and our life after the trial. I've heard it's to be a best-seller. And before any of that though, we got married and spent a glorious two and a half weeks in Fiji! We've had practically no fights, except for that little thing about how much we should pay the house elves. And you won that, and quite fairly seeing that they deserved their 15 galleon raise and their very own house."

Hermione grinned madly. Fred returned it tenfold (if that was even possible). He was so clever; he really knew how to get on her good side.

Hermione snogged him fiercely.

"God, how I love you!"

**Second Anniversary – January 1, 2004:**

**"**God, how I hate morning sickness!"

"Well, Healer Weasley, did you take your potion today?" Fred asked knowingly, pulling his wife's hair back.

Hermione turned and glared at him.

"I'll take that as a 'no' then. Being the wonderful husband I am, I'll Apparate to the kitchen and get it for you, love," he said before disappearing.

Hermione resumed retching into the toilet.

Moments later, Fred reappeared with a glass of a grey, chunky potion meant to stop morning sickness (if swallowing it didn't make you sick first). The fact that it was peppermint flavoured didn't help.

"Thank you," Hermione said, reaching for the glass and downing it quickly, shaking her head fiercely. "Blech. I'm surprised that it doesn't make me throw up to begin with."

"I know. Just looking at it kind of makes me gag," Fred said, cringing. "But it will be over soon, right? The morning sickness?"

Hermione pulled herself up and brushed her teeth. "Yes, thank God. A week or three more of this dreaded morning sickness then I'll get nice and round and fat. As well as very emotional."

"Oh, but fat and emotional is in now, love," Fred joked. In Weasley cases, it certainly was in since Ginny, Alicia, and Margaret were pregnant, too.

"Haha. You're lucky I love you. Now seeing that you are in trouble Mr. Weasley, you must follow my direct orders," Hermione stated very authoritatively. "Take me to bed."

And oh, did Fred follow her orders well. He lifted her up bridal style and gently placed her gently on their bed. She began unbuttoning her blouse.

"Make sure the draperies are securely drawn and the anti-Apparition and –Floo wards are up. I want to have my way with you and I'd rather not be interrupted when I do."

"Pregnant women are bossy, but I like it!"

**Third Anniversary – January 1, 2005:**

"But I like sleeping!" a tired Fred mumbled in the wee hours of the morning.

His six-and-a-half month old daughter was awake and crying.

"Fred, it's your turn," Hermione mumbled, burying her head in her pillow.

"I know," Fred said as he climbed out of his nice warm bed.

He walked across the hall and opened the door to his daughter's room.

"Emmy, what's wrong?"

At hearing his voice, and realizing she was no longer alone, Emlyn Jane Weasley wailed.

Fred scooped her out of her crib and began gently rocking her.

"Emlyn Jane, Daddy wants to get back into his nice warm bed beside Mummy, so can you get back to sleep love?" Fred practically pleaded.

Emlyn whimpered in reply.

"Em – J, did you have a bad dream? Well don't worry because whatever scared you isn't there anymore."

Fred moved toward the rocking chair and sat in it. Emlyn was starting to calm down; her breathing was now regular.

"You're safe sweetheart, because I won't let anything happen to you," Fred promised his daughter, seeing her eyes flutter.

Fred sat there, rocking Emlyn back to sleep, whispering softly to her.

After realizing she was sound asleep, he placed her back in her crib, but not before kissing her forehead and smelling that sweet, clean baby smell. He looked down on her for a few moments, watching her stomach rise and fall as she breathed.

"Sleep tight, Emmy," he whispered before slipping out of her room, across the hall, and into his bed beside Hermione.

"Did you calm her down or is she asleep too?" Hermione whispered through the darkness, moving nearer to Fred, her chest up against his back and her arms wrapped around his torso.

"Yes. Now we can go to sleep," Fred sighed.

"We _could_, but we have the whole day to sleep," Hermione whispered in Fred's ear. "Unfortunately, I'm not very tired right now anyway. Are you?"

"No."

Fred turned around and faced his wife. He kissed her passionately.

"No, I can't sleep."

**Fourth Anniversary – January 1, 2006:**

"I'm tired, but I can't get comfortable!" a very pregnant Hermione screamed.

Fred, sitting in the corner of the living room, looked up from his Weasley Wizarding Wheezes catalogue. A very bedraggled looking Hermione was sprawled out on their couch. (The very same puce-coloured couch from his Famous Bachelor Pad.) One-and-a-half year old Emlyn was crawling around on the floor beside Hermione.

"Well, love, you are indeed very pregnant, and practically due any day now," Fred said.

"Well, I don't want to be pregnant _**one day more**_!"

"Mione, it's alright. Be patient," Fred said, getting up from his seat to sit beside his wife.

Hermione looked wild. "Patient!?!"

Emlyn looked to her mother, curious.

"Patient? You try carrying _twins_ for forty fucking weeks, then you can tell me to be patient!" Hermione snarled, crossing her arms and looking away from Fred.

"Hermione! We have little ears in our presence!" Fred reprimanded.

Hermione snorted, then burst out into all-out laughter. Emlyn giggled at seeing her mother in this frantic state, completely unaware of what was transpiring.

Hermione was laughing so hard that her whole body was shaking.

Fred picked up the giggling Emlyn and stared at his wife curiously. "What the bloody hell are you laughing at?"

This caused Hermione to erupt into another fit of giggles.

"Oh, love, I'm laughing at you!"

"Why?" he asked incredulously.

Hermione, since she was now in quite a good mood, turned back to face Fred.

"First, you said 'little ears,' then you swore in from of the so-called 'little ears.'"

"Oh – well – you don't want our children to know such vulgar language at such an early age, now do you?"

Emlyn grabbed her father's nose and let out a happy shriek.

Hermione laughed and then leaned forward to kiss Fred sweetly. Then she tapped Emlyn's tiny nose.

"You are such a daddy."

**Sixth Anniversary – January 1, 2008: **

"Mummy, Mummy, Mummy! Make Parker and Loudon stop following me!" Emlyn cried, running into her three-and-a-half moth old brother, Alden's nursery, with Parker and Loudon on wobbly legs close behind.

Hermione, sitting in her rocking chair by the window with Alden in her arms, turned to the left to see her three oldest children standing by the door.

"What's this I hear about little brothers following their older sister?" Hermione asked.

"We play tag wif Emmy," Loudon said proudly. After all, he and Parker were almost two.

"Yeah. She fast," Parker added.

Emlyn scowled, but then let it go.

"Can I hold Alden Mummy?" Emlyn asked.

"Of course," Hermione said, getting out of the rocking chair so Emlyn could sit in it. "You remember what you're supposed to do, right?"

"Yeah! Hold his head and bottom with both arms!"

"Good," Hermione said, smiling and handing her daughter her baby brother.

With her children content playing with the baby, Hermione wondered where Fred was.

Then, as if he had known what she was thinking, Fred Apparated into the nursery.

"Daddy!" three little voices cried.

Fred couldn't help but smile at seeing his adorable children.

Then he saw his beautiful wife off to the side.

"Mione," he said.

"What did your mum say?" she asked before kissing her husband.

"She'll take them right now. I think she just wants to play with Alden, honestly, and make Emlyn, Parker and Loudon tons of sweets but –"

"But that's what grandmothers are for," Hermione finished with a smile.

"Then that leaved time for us grownups to play," Fred said huskily, waggling his eyebrows.

Hermione couldn't help but laugh. "Fred, remember we have little ears!"

Fred wrapped his arms around his wife's dainty waist (despite having been pregnant three times; lucky girl) and snogged her senseless.

Their kids weren't paying attention to them anymore.

A little breathless and few minutes later, Hermione called to her kids.

"Who wants to visit Grandmum?"

Of course they did!

So, Fred and Hermione bundled up their brood and Flooed to the Burrow where Grandmum was anxiously awaiting their arrival.

After Flooing back home, Fred told Hermione what games he wanted to play.

**Seventh Anniversary – January 1, 2009:**

"Daddy, I want to play House but Parker and Loudon don't want to play!" five year old Emlyn told her father. "Can I play with Madelyn?"

Fred crouched down so he was eye-level with her. "Well, we'll have to Floo Aunt Ginny and Uncle Harry, won't we?"

"Yeah!" Emlyn yelled happily, running to the fireplace.

"But first," Hermione said, walking into the kitchen with Loudon, Parker, and Alden, "Daddy and I have to tell you something."

"Is it good news?" Emlyn asked.

"Yes, it's good news," Fred answered.

Emlyn, Parker and Loudon hopped onto the window bench while Fred took Alden from Hermione's arms.

Fred smiled softly at Fred, her eyes sparkling.

"Well, we're going to have another baby," Hermione said joyously.

Fred couldn't help but smile.

Emlyn was extremely excited. "Will I get a sister?"

"Maybe. We won't know until the baby comes," Fred laughed.

"We want a brother!" Loudon and Parker cried simultaneously.

"We'll have to wait five to six more months before the baby's born, then we'll see if you're going to have a brother or sister. But it will be exciting, won't it?"

"Yeah!" Emlyn and the twins screamed.

"Can I go play with Madelyn now?"

**Tenth Anniversary – January 1, 2012: **

"Can we take them now?" Fred whined.

"Yes, hold on. I have to clean up Cale. He's managed to get _something _all over his face."

"Hermione, he's two-and-a-half; he's bound to get something all over his face."

Hermione wiped up the last bit of that _something_ and called her other children.

"Kids! Time to go to Nana and Pop-pop's!"

Her four other children came running into the kitchen at various speeds, with Emlyn at the caboose, carrying one month old Nevan.

"Thanks Emmy," Fred said as she handed him Nevan.

"I changed his too. He's all good to go."

Fred kissed his daughter's forehead.

"You're the best."

"Coats on!" Hermione demanded. "Now you all remember that there is no magic at Nana and Pop-pop's, right?"

Emlyn, Parker, Loudon, Alden and Cale all nodded. Fred did too for some reason.

"And no playing with the Floo," Fred added.

"Daddy, we know. No magic _**at all**_ because of the Muggles that live by Nana and Pop-pop," Emlyn said.

Hermione sighed. Her daughter was wonderful. "Alright. Good. I love you all. Be good! Listen to your sister boys!" she said, kissing each of her children.

And Fred of course.

"Be back soon," Fred told, kissing his wife again. "Make sure you're all ready to go out. It is our tenth anniversary after all."

**Eleventh Anniversary – January 1, 2013:**

"Seven kids in eleven years. I'm so done," Hermione promised herself as she waddled to the refrigerator to her a jar of maraschino cherries and a slab of cheddar jack cheese.

"Woohoo!" Fred cried as he ran into the kitchen with four-year-old Cale on his back.

Then he noticed Hermione and stopped dead in his tracks.

"Love, what are you doing?"

"Getting food. Your baby and wife are hungry," Hermione said, resting her hand on her eighth-month pregnant belly.

"Go find Parker to Loudon, Cale. They'll give you a piggy-back ride," Fred said, scooting Cale away. "Well, why didn't you call for me to get you something?"

"I'm sick of sitting on my fat arse, having my husband and children get me what I want."

Fred walked over to his wife and wrapped his arms around her, and looking at her arse.

"Your arse isn't that fat," commented Fred.

Hermione swatted him away.

"I'm done you know."

"Done what?"

"Having your babies. Seven is my limit."

Fred smiled coyly. "Okay."

"No no no. That does not mean what I think you think it means."

"But Mione," Fred pouted.

"Fred. We can't! The kids are around this anniversary!"

"Not really. Not if we're on the third floor in our bedroom and they're on the first floor in the living room. We'll have the house elves watch them."

"But it's so…irresponsible."

"Oh, well, if it'd make it any better, it would only be fully clothed. Maybe a little under the shirt," Fred continued, giving Hermione a quick peck on the lips.

"Oh Fred."

"That's a yes!"

**Fourteenth Anniversary – January 1, 2016:**

"Mum, Hogwarts is so cool! I love Quidditch! Bryrony and Evan are on the team, you know. I'm going to try out next year.

"Oh! Madelyn has got Uncle Harry's Marauders Map and we know all the passageways already! Sometimes we scare Connor by popping out of this particular passageway. It's hilarious!" Emlyn was telling Hermione enthusiastically.

Fred had just happened to overhear some names as he had popped his head in Emlyn's room.

"Who's Connor?" he asked, curious.

"My friend Daddy. He's a first year Gryffindor like me and Madelyn. Connor Malfoy."

Fred's breath caught in his throat and he started choking and turning an ugly shade of purple.

"Oh dear," was all Hermione said.

It wasn't such a good fourteenth anniversary since Fred spent a few hours of it recovering from his shock in St. Mungo's.

**Sixteenth Anniversary – January 1, 2018:**

"So Dad, we played this awesome –" Loudon began.

"Prank on Connor Malfoy –" Parker continued.

"Em's friend –"

"And she got so mad –"

"She nearly hexed us!" they finished together.

"It was so funny to see Malfoy practically starkers!" Loudon said.

"Nice!" Fred congratulated his sons.

Unfortunately, Emlyn heard this.

"Daddy! He's my friend!" Then she stormed up to her room.

"Fred!" Hermione screeched. "Loudon and Parker, you two can go up to your room while I think about your punishment. I just don't know how I didn't hear of this beforehand!"

Hermione glared at Fred and he smiled apologetically.

**Nineteenth Anniversary – January 1, 2021:**

"Dad, I love Hogwarts! It's even better than what Em, Loudon, Parker, and Alden had told me!"

"Glad you like it Cale. Know any of the secret passageways yet?"

"All of 'em!"

"Brilliant. Any new coll pranks happen?"

"You'd have to ask Em. She's a Prefect you know. She and Connor patrol the halls, making sure Loud and Park don't have anything planned."

"_Malfoy_?" Fred said with disgust.

Hermione, having perfect hearing that comes natural as a mother, heard this. It was like a super power.

"Fred, Connor is just a boy!"

**August 5, 2021:**

There was a wonderfully furnished bedroom with a king-sized bed. On the walls, here and there, were various pictures of kids.

A man with startling red hair was sitting on the bed, shirtless, reading a newspaper.

"Hermione, love, what are you doing?"

"Er! Just something!" Hermione called from the adjoining bathroom.

"Come on, come on, change colour already," she whispered to herself in the bathroom.

Finally, what she wanted to change colour, changed colour.

"Oh my god!" she screamed happily.

"What love?" Fred called.

"Love it's a surprise. I'll be out in a second."

Fred got excited. "Tell me, tell me! You know how I love surprises!" he said with childish glee.

Hermione sauntered out of the bathroom, looking briefly at the glass sitting on the toilet.

"Now Fred, I know I told you a while I was done, and we were most certainly not planning for this to happen but…I'm pregnant!" Hermione said, clearly ecstatic.

Fred jumped out of bed and scooped Hermione up, swinging her around.

"Mione! That's the best surprise ever!" he said, before kissing his wife lovingly.

Hermione was breathless. "It certainly is a surprise, but a very happy one!"

"Now that makes ten!"

"Ten what?"

"Ten Fred and Hermione Weasleys!"

Fred kissed Hermione again, this time more forcefully, bringing her to the bed to proceed with some business.

Of course, they put a silencing and locking charm up before doing anything else.

**Hours later, August 5, 2021:**

"Hermione, what's this box? It smells like garlic."

"Oh my god. No wonder we've have so many kids! No cumilinksees!"

**EL FIN **

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**AN: Here is the end of the FreMione, **Love: An Irresistible Desire. **I hope you all liked this. This epilogue, though, leaves ****a lots**** of things open-ended. **

**Please please please, review.

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**

**Here's a little bit of background info that will help with the Fred and Hermione Weasley clan. **

**Fred and Hermione** _m. Jan 1, 2002_

Emlyn Jane _(June 17, 2004)_

Parker Benjamin & Loudon Christopher _(January 3, 2006)_

AldenBennett _(November 14, 2007)_

Cale Alexander _(July 2, 2009)_

Nevan Charles _(December 10, 2011)_

Tanner Rhys _(February 24, 2013)_

**Harry and Ginny** _m. 2000_

Evan James & Bryrony Marie _(September 19, 2001) _

Madelyn Blair (g) _(June 11, 2004)_

Lucas Nealan _(March 27, 2006)

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_**Here is the VERY LAST QUOTE!!!!**

Life is a painting, cover the entire canvas.

_--A Dove Chocolate wrapper _

**I thought the quote was appropriate, because I love chocolate, and I love this very simple quote. **

_**I am so very grateful **__**to all of **__**my readers and reviewers! I owe it all to you for continuing**__** (and finishing)**__** this story! If not for you and your amazing responses and such, I don't know I how I would have done it! Thank you! Thank you! THANK YOU!**_

**Always,**

**lovah**** of Ron**


	27. Chapter 27: FUN

**AN: Hey, do you remember** _years ago_ **when I talked about a Fred and Hermione Playlist? Well I decided to post the one I had made up. Each number refers to a specific chapter. Hopefully you will like my choices.**

**I also gave you all of the chapter quotes! Yay!**

**Sincerely,**

**lovah of Ron**

**PS. L:AID **_IS_** over. This is just a fun little thing. **

**Oh, and happy holidays!**

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**Fred and Hermione's Infinite Playlist**

1. The Curse of Curves – _Cute is What We Aim For_

2. Let It Will Be - _Madonna_

3. Everything is Alright – _Motion City Soundtrack_

4. Here's to the Heroes – _The Ten Tenors_

5. Heels Over Head – _Boys Like Girls_

6. Collide – _Howie Day_

7. We've Only Just Begun – _Run Kid Run_

8. Crazy – _Gnarls Barkley_

9. Can't Stop – _Maroon 5_

10. Slow Down – _The Academy Is…_

11. The Carpal Tunnel of Love – _Fall Out Boy_

12. Juicy – _Better Than Ezra_

13. We Can Be Lovers – from the movie _Moulin Rouge_

14. Over My Head (Cable Car) – _The Fray_

15. The Guilty Ones – from the musical _Spring Awakening_

16. My Junk – from the musical _Spring Awakening_

17. London Beckoned Songs About Money Written by Machines – _Panic! At the Disco_

18. The Bitch of Living – from the musical _Spring Awakening _

19. Up Against the Wall – _Boys Like Girls_

20. Sewn – _The Feeling_

21. Bottle It Up – _Sara Bareilles_

22. Tonight - _Cartel_

23. Figure It Out – _Maroon 5_

24. Light Up the Sky – _Yellowcard_

25. Greatest Story Ever Told – _Oliver James_

26. Many the Miles – _Sara Bareilles

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_

**CHAPTER QUOTES**

1. The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. -- _George Carlin __(Sometimes a Little Brain Damage Can Help, 1984)_

2. I only go to work on days that don't end in a 'y'. -- _Robert Paul_

3. Life is like stepping onto a boat which is about to sail out to sea and sink.-- _Shunryu Suzuki Roshi_

4. A question that sometimes drives me hazy: am I or are the others crazy? -- _Albert Einstein_

5. Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time. -- _Demetri Martin_

6. Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished. -- _Leslie Nielsen_

7. We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. -- _Oscar Wilde __(Lady Windermere's Fan, 1892)_

8. Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. -- _Mark Twain_

9. To solve the human equation, we need to add love, subtract hate, multiply good, and divide between truth and error. (Solving the Human Equation) -- _Janet Coleman_

10. To solve the human equation, we need to add love, subtract hate, multiply good, and divide between truth and error. (Solving the Human Equation) -- _Janet Coleman_

11. Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans. -- _John Lennon __(from Beautiful Boy - 1980)_

12. Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. -- _Soren Aabye Kierkegaard_

13. Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love. -- _Albert Einstein_

14. In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. -- _Robert Frost_

15. Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. _- - __Albert Einstein_

16.You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by the way he eats jelly beans. -- _Ronald Reagan _

17. Just a wet dream for the webzine.

'London Beckoned Songs about Money Written by Machines---- Panic! At the Disco

18. Love ceases to be a pleasure, when it ceases to be a secret. -- _Aphra__ Behn_

19. The world is full of willing people; some willing to work, the rest willing to let them. -- _Robert Frost_

20. Cause you got my heart in a headlock

21. You stopped the blood and made my head soft

The Feeling- "Sewn"

22. Where love is concerned, too much is not even enough.

Where love is concerned, too much is not even enough. -- _Pierre De Beaumarchais _

23. Love is the heart of the soul. -- _Robert Paul _

24. A kiss can be a comma, a question mark or an exclamation point. That's basic spelling that every woman ought to know. -- _Mistinguette__(as quoted in Theatre Arts, Dec 1955) _

Light Up the Sky by Yellowcard

25. When love and skill work together, expect a masterpiece. -- _John Ruskin _

26. Life is a painting, cover the entire canvas.

_--A Dove Chocolate wrapper _

_

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_

**AN: Thank you so much readers and reviewers! I owe everything to you! If it weren't for you, I probably would have given up. (Well, maybe not, because it is very hard for me to start something and not finish it, but I certainly would have been unhappy without you all!)**

**So, many thanks to each and every one of you. I thought about naming all of you, but that would take too long. So, this should suffice. **

**THANK YOU LOADS!**

**Happy holidays, **

**lovah of Ron**


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